• If I post something saying "I'm the original ranter, does that make it credible?" (btw original ranter here).
• @"Gay guy who claims vaginal odour is why he’s gay: Uhm, dude, as if ass smells any better? SMH. . ." I mean I was kidding, and yeah ass doesn't smell much better. Two of the lesser evils I guess.
• AU Compliments, AU Crush and AU Confession make AU students look pathetic and insecure. GET OFF ANON AND GO TALK TO PEOPLE.
• It's like all the dirty hipsters at this school want you to hate them. GO TAKE A SHOWER AND CUT OFF YOUR PONYTAIL.
• Editor, can we put emails here for people to send messages to instead of rants back and forth among a million people? I'm thinking you might think that people would submit other peoples’ emails, but what if there was a way to verify that it was a person submitting their own? Like you or someone else sent an email asking to check it was intentional. That would reduce the amount of random responses from “original” posters and vague messages. That or I’m gonna make a Facebook page or something. This AU speed dating has to happen. [Editor’s Note: I recommend making a Facebook page]
• I rant, therefore I am.
• Guys of eagle rants: every guy just randomly puts his hands in his pants when you're just chillin, right? Especially in a comfy chair and especially in comfy clothes. Whoops, I was studying in the study lounge and realized I had my hands down my pants just chilling like nbd. I had gone in to rearrange my junk but forgot to withdraw. Whatevs no one saw...I don't think.
• @awkward library sex: not to be a creep, but like....where and how does this happen?! Ever since "The Prince and Me," I've always been curious
• @"What were people complaining about on the quad today?" I heard mention of The Big Bang Theory and I wholeheartedly support their mission to have it cancelled.
• @"1. HIPSTERS DO NOT LISTEN TO KE$HA SO YOU ARE NOT A HIPSTER" Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
• @I literally feel completely and utterly alone: that literally sounded as though I wrote it. Try talking to your friends maybe? I talked to mine and I think we might be getting back to normal, but I can't tell. Good luck.
• I wonder how many people arrange to meet up with each other over Eagle Rants, then get to their meeting place and don't have the balls to find each other
• I want to stay at AU for grd school but I know going to the same school for undergrad and grad is frowned upon. What other schools would be most similar to AU?
• I think they should bring back puppies on the quad for finals week... Someone get on this!!
• @"Looking back at welcome Week": That's good to hear! Her first initial is "L", by the way.
• If you're in David Johnson's Digital Skills class and are meh on it, please drop out because I want to take it desperately!
• @ I noticed that too.. It's not a huge deal, but it makes it seem like black people don't want to be friends with anyone else. It's not like they can only find things in common with other black people, our characteristics aren't defined by the color of our skin. everyone should be friends with everyone.
• I'm in Kogod and we are definitely not Ravenclaw. I've actually heard Accounting Majors say "I'm bad at math." LIKE WHAT. We are definitely slytherin. Like I said before, most of us are all corporate tools.
• @"My best “friends” go off and do things without even a thought about me" Story of my freaking life. What I started doing was doing things by myself, it may seem lonely, but I've actually met some cool people that I may not have met before.
• @ people telling me I'm not a hipster: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahah. Only at AU would people get pissed about someone calling themselves a hipster.
• To girl in my fractals class who sits in the front row everyday. I really want to get breakfast and study with you but I am not sure how to ask.
• I don't think people realize that the library is literally the worst place to study at. MGC after 10:30 is dead silent.
• Why do people waste money on drugs? Seriously $12 on adderall? I'd rather eat at subway twice.
• @Want to meet at the Dav on Wednesday, say around 2:00pm? How will I know its you?
• Boys in sweaters are so sexy.
• I love hearing loud opera music from the guy at the table next to me... can you play your music a little louder? It's REALLY helping everyone study
• I'm not a slut...but my philosophy to sex is YOLO so f*** it
• Based on the rants, isn't it obvious that the problem isn't that there aren't any willing/interested people on campus? The problem is this: you're all too scared to say anything to anyone, and about half of you have set your standards high enough that no one will ever measure up so that you won't have to worry about rejection. There you have it.
• plot twist: not everything is about you
• Kogod is not Ravenclaw. Basically everyone I've met in Kogod is straight up dumb.
• You know you've gone too long without watching Rent when every Christmas song that references Bethlehem makes you want to sing "La Vie Boheme"...
• i hate some of the rants i've posted here. i regret a lot of them and wish i could get rid of them (editor: any way to do that if i know the dates/rants?)
• Dammit, I miss you and I'd do anything to hear your voice right now. Except contact you...
• You are really bad at texting. You led me on. I didn't/don't have expectations. This ship is about to sail away, contact me or I'll move on.
• @YOU ARE ALL WRONG. Okay here’s the breakdown: SOC is Hufflepuff, SIS is Gryffindor, KOGOD is Ravenclaw, CAS is Slytherin. And everyone else is a squib. WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG: CAS is Hufflepuff, SIS is Gryffindor, SOC is Ravenclaw and KOGOD is the disgusting Slytherin.
• All I want for Christmas is for Jason Segel to bone me
• I ate too much chocolate and now I have diarrhea
• If a person cries and no one is around to hear it...that's sad.
• Jim DeMint started the recession.
• Is it weird that I find my precalc professor cute and wonder if I'm his type?
• I'm going to miss this class! You guys made thursday nights do-able.
• To the guy who sat in on Dissident Media wearing a giant fake mustache and cowboy hat: WHO ARE YOU. I NEED TO KNOW.
• Enough of this Harry Potter BS. SPA is House Stark, SIS is House Lannister, KOGOD is just a bunch of Littlefingers, SOC is House Greyjoy, CAS is House Targayrean, Public Safety is the Night's Watch, ROTC are the Unsullied and CAUS are the White Walkers.
• Liberals R Tools. I know you disapprove of homosexuality, but I'd go gay for you and make you my sex puppet. You are awesome!
• Hollywood wants to make a Jumanji remake. You're F'ing with my generations childhood. Don't step into the wrong hood.
• That fear when you are on a porn site that you will accidentally click the facebook share button. THE HORROR!
• One last goodbye to the cute boy I'm crushing on. Can't believe you are studying abroad. You seriously make my heart melt. Just wanted to wish you safe travels.
• Zero hour, 9 A.M. But I'm gonna be high, as a kite by then.
• So props on whoever put Christmas lights in the tree behind Kay. I'm guessing it was the Methodists.
• Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design. Your friends, up there on the sanctuary moon, are walking into a trap, as is your Rebel fleet. It was *I* who allowed the Alliance to know the location of the shield generator. It is quite safe from your pitiful little band. An entire legion of my best troops awaits them. Oh, I'm afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive.
• Chill guy with the purple beanie working in the library basement lab thing...I see you, I see you. ;) too bad you just said you have a gf
