• @"Any other Poets of the Fall fans out there?" Only reason I know them is because they sang "Late Goodbye;" the end theme of Max Payne 2.
• Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we missed.
• I really like you. We always flirt and you are so nice to me. I can't stand this playful flirtation anymore! je t'adore :)
• I might kill myself soon." please believe me when I say that I love you, and that there are people in this world who can not be happy without you. please, please don't leave us.
• suicide is a permanent solution to what may be a temporary problem.
• Bring back the THE! Not the band "The The", the THE in THE American University.
• I don't want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel. This world is just illusion. Please don't go. I want you to stay.
• @ "Not true. Some people die in plane crashes." That was a Donnie Darko reference, not a person opinion.
• @ "thinking of lofting my bed next semester. any thoughts?" If you want to remain a virgin, loft your bed.
• no work during finals week but all my friends are busy beavers. oh well, i guess it leaves me time to beat it
• @suicidal ranter: I was in the same position recently. But upon further analysis, I found suicide to not be a logical option. If you are Christian, Jewish, or Muslim, suicide results in going to hell. Not fun. If you are Buddhist suicide means you will just hit the rest button and be born into a new life where you still have the same issue that your soul needs to get past (ie you will still be suicidal in the next life). Inefficient.
• And if you are atheist and believe life is all just darkness after death, you should know that some factions belief that even after death we are still conscious. But if you realize you do not like that post death consciousness, then there is no way out because you can’t kill yourself if you are already dead. So best to stay on earth and just get through this rough path. It will get better.
• EAGLE RANTS EDITOR MAKE OUT WITH ME
• #EAGLERANTSEDITOR I BET YOURE THE HOTTEST MAMA [Editor’s Note: I am]
• im in love with the editor of the rrraaaaannnntttttzzzz
• Where's the SOC love?? I think we're some happenin' peeps.
• @"I suggest moving in with your mother" - HAHAHA. Thank you for this. You are hilarious and I commend you, sir or madam! An apt response.
• @I ship Cockles... What is cockles? When I googled it all I got were clams.
• @y'all not ya'll Sorry, my mistake. I'm a southerner too, and I feel ashamed now.
• @"Im going to Kill myself soon" NO I am here for you.YOU ARE MORE LOVED THAN YOU KNOW, trust me there is someone who would miss you that you have made a huge impact on and you dont even know it.
• When I heard the guitar, I thought the guy next door might have been playing good music for once. Then I realized it was someone with actual talent... I made a conscious decision to be in my room alone on a Friday night. When the fudge did I become this lame?
• So is the new AmLit going to be online? I live off campus and can't find a physical copy anywhere, but I want to read it!
• I have a huge crush on a guy that I met online. Which, I don't have a problem with that. Except, you know, he lives 2000 miles away.
• why do people who I am more attractive than get hookups and I feel like no one wants to kiss me
• @I might kill myself soon: Don't do that, you're way too awesome. In fact, I'm not telling you what to do or anything, but you could TOTALLY pull off orange corduroy. Just sayin.
• If you want to get back together, talk to me. You'll be surprised but I actually miss you. I just didn't want you to know it.
• How much do you expect me to tolerate before I crack?
• "Self-important hipster has nothing better to do than judge/shame girls who wear Uggs… " PREACH! Judge me all you want, but I can guarantee my feet are snugglier and comfier than yours.
• Way to be a bunch of asshats, you guys, every time people come to speak at our University. You really showed some IDF grunt whose boss, you idiots.
• @thinking of lofting my bed next semester. any thoughts? YOLO [Editor’s Note: That’s the motto]
• "If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it." - Marcus Aurelius
• Undierun! If you don't know what that is look it up.
• Where are the SG rants?
• I just conquered the communal keurig and made the world's best cup of coffee.
• Dear dance team, you guys flick your hair around way too much! Please stop before you give yourselves whip lash.
• to the Thirsty ranter: Can you just get some water already?
• oh my god you get offended over EVERYTHING. I thought you were cute, but if you can't understand dry humor, we're done here.
• Dear, "I suggest moving in with your mother": I understand you have mediocre looks...truly, my condolences to you and yours :'(
• Wanna hear a joke? Liberals
• That moment when you work up the courage to ask a girl out, but then realize that you are booked solid until Christmas Eve...f*ck my life
• Alright editor, it's 9:40pm. I submitted a very long defense for you into today's rants. Don't make me eat my words
• Does anypony wanna start a MLP:FIM club? I need somepony to watch season 3 with me.
• Hey fat alcoholic roommate: this whole drinking alcohol thing has got to stop. Your body weight is already huge, so drinking alcohol will make you even bigger. So much for dieting, you fatty. I don't even feel bad because you're mean, and karma will smack you in the face. Or maybe your belly because you're fat.
• That awkward moment when you find out you have an untreatable brain tumor...
• I haaaaate block classes. Too bad pretty much all grad school classes are blocks.
• I wish my grad school had an EagleBucks/ DiningDollars equivalent. They have something for undergrads but not grad students.
• To the girl who muttered scathingly at her friend after seeing me in shorts and uggs...cut me a break for the love of god, I'm trying to recover from surgery. They're the most comfortable things I can wear, considering nothing I wear right now is comfortable.
• The sheer amount of guy attention I've got in the past 2 days is startling. My vagina isn't magical guys...like seriously...
• srsly eaglerants editor. if you're not going to post rants then give the job to someone who actually wants it.
• @AmericanU on reddit!: I agree! I'm a regular redditor (more lurker) but if it was more active I'd totally be a part of it. It could be really cool to get more people. I know a bunch of people on reddit, not only my friends but just walking past ppl on campus and I see in class.
• I kinda love AU Compliments. Besides inside jokes among groups, it seems really nice. Glad to see some kindness/positivity around here.
• @smelly vagina rants: aaaaaaaand that's why I'm gay.
• @rebuttal Hogwarts/AU analysis: Perfect. Absolutely perfect.
• @"Sea otters hold hands when they sleep so they don’t drift apart." Insert teary-eyed meme face. totes adorbs
• She's single!!! YESSSSS!!!! :-)
• editor please, I know you're busy and I totally understand, but pelase post the rants daily during finals! I don't care when, I just need my fix to get me through
• I feel like there's nobody out there like me and I'm going to die alone.
• We've hooked up a couple of times and I've drunk texted you, you've drunk texted me... we both know we obviously want each other, so can we just make this happen already, please?
• The fact that I was your booty call, and that I was okay with that and responded worries me. Ehh, but then again I wanted it, and would’ve done the same, so it’s okay right?
• you had ONE JOB eaglerants editor. ONE JOB.
• My roommate sleeps in crazy late (like past 2pm). How long is it acceptable to wait before I can come in and punch him in the face?
• I think somebody forgot to turn on the AC in the Library. it is stuffy as hell in here.
• I love my mom. She called me out of the blue while I happened to be feeling really upset, and totally talked me down from how stressed I am about finals and told me how proud she was of me. Recently I've just been feeling like I've been letting her down, and it just feels so relieving to know that isn't the case to her.
• @"So many rants from single lesbians! I’m a single lesbian looking for some love, too!" -I am new to this campus and am wondering if there is a general meeting place for intellectually stimulating/attractive females who just-so-happen to like fellow intellectually stimulating/attractive females. Suggestions??? #"GAY-JEW" my ass!
• (Blonde Hair, Checkered Hat, Katzen Arts Center saturday night around seven or so.) I've seen you so many times, the way you affect me should be a crime. You don't know me, and I don't know thee. Every time I see you my heart will race. Damn I'm in an awkward place. Do I approach and say hi, or just treat you like another passerby. Do I compliment your musical talent? That wouldn't be prudent.
• Why does it seem like you're getting LESS mature with age? It's painful to watch!
• I wish I slept with you before you got into that relationship.
• @ "thinking of creating my own major…would AU allow “sarcasm” as a major?" Hahaha, OMG, LOL. That is sooooooooooooooo funny because you are being smart and educated and sarcasm is for people who are smfart and edumacated. Ohhh, 50,000 dollars a year down the drain...HAHAHAHAHA SOOOOO F'ING FUNNYYYYYY!!!!! YOU DO THAT, M'KAY! #LOL #ROLFCOPTER #YOLO
• I remember when the mere mention of "Vagina Chips" would have people laughing.
• @ "To the guy looking for a girlfriend to have sex with every day. I’m down! I was the same way in high school and I miss it!!! When and where do you want to meet up??" Wait, I want sex everyday too. Why can't people just offer me sex when I ask them? Can you just deliver yourself to my room and just mount me like a mechanical bull. I can offer you compensation in empty Pringles canisters.
• I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you post Eagle Rants now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.
• @HSGFsex - I totally get that. My HS BF and I had a regular schedule and being single leaves me totally frustrated!
