• @"-stuck/scared" you should try talking to someone. I know what that sort of situation is like but the possible consequences of your actions are incredibly severe. No relationship is worth risking your life with drugs
• @ person who keeps posting billy joel lyrics. you are awesome and your posts make me smile :)
• i really hate it when your hair falls down your shirt/bra area and then you either have itchy boobs with possible strands of hair poking out or you've got to fish around in your cleavage looking silly trying to excavate your shedding hair. i feel like this is a universal problem (for people who have boobs and hair, possibly a bigger problem for us longer-haired folk) and i really don't know how to deal with it.
• happy birthday you :)
• I think I'm starting to understand why there are girls who can't find guys AND guys who can't find girls. No one is really looking. We should have AU speed dating.
• I'm going to flunk out of AU because I am so accustomed to not doing any work whatsoever.
• I'm pushing up daisies. I wish they were roses. I feel like I'm drownin' but nobody knows it.
• You were happy before you met him/her, and you'll be able to be happy after he/she's gone. I promise you that. Relationships shouldn't cause you pain.
• But really, is your conversation on the third floor of the library so damn critical that it must be had, right here, right now, at the expense of all of us who are here to study? F*** off please.
• @2nd floor pooper. That sounds awesome
• @person "who reads eagle rants everyday." SO many people read eagle rants everyday.
• shout out to hot trevor - you are a fantastic kisser!
• Hey there fruity! You can do my hair Hey there fruity! Don't touch me down there Hey There Fruity! You're gay and I don't approve.
• I find that the modal stylings that we see on Kind of Blue really demonstrate a change from the Hard Bop style that Davis pioneered. But then again, free jazz is a huge departure from that. I think it's best seen as a stand alone movement, a mixture of jazz and blues that pops up in the recordings of wynton kelly.
• The editor is dropping the ball. Feel bad, editor. Feel very bad.
• Sometimes I feel like it's my fault that we had a falling out yet you were the one who said you wanted more and then when it actually happened you got scared within 3 weeks... i just wish you'd talk to me again
• @drugs to numb the pain of an LDR: I'm in the same boat. I hope you are at least doing non-addictive drugs like nitrous oxide rather than addictive drugs like cocaine or oxy. Stay strong, sister. LDRs don't last forever. You will be together again soon.
• to the lovely person who ranted about social life in college being hard--it is! i thought i was the only one and it was so frustrating and i felt like a complete loser. it made and still makes me so sad and lonely
• Screw you. No seriously, screw you. She completely ruined you the first time, what makes the think the second time will be any better? I cannot WAIT to see this all come crashing down around you.
• @find me in McDowell: done haha! What floor?
• @I JUST WANT TO MAKE OUT: ME TOO let's do it!!
• Obama and Holder: two fantastic reasons why affirmative action is a bad idea.
• @Thank you so much for that reply, I really needed it: Aww, no problem haha, you're welcome! For what it's worth, I'm trying to get over someone too. I still miss her but there's really no reason to since she doesn't seem to care at all. I just want closure haha. Maybe that would help you?
• @I feel like the biggest idiot for liking you so much: I feel the same way hahaha. I do read these every night. But how do you know I'm the guy you like? :) If you're who I think you are, I like you too!
• @You seem like a nice guy. I mentioned my trust fund on here because it's anonymous: That's really cool that you were brave enough to post on here about wanting a boyfriend. I really want a girlfriend, so maybe we'll meet :) But just do you know, I don't care about your trust fund. If you're amazing girl, I'd grow to love you and I wouldn't care if you had no money to your name! I don't have a trust fund, but I know money doesn't buy true happiness.
• @girl in long LDR - you've stuck with it for 3 years already!!! keep it up :) he is still safe and make a plan to see him soon, you will feel so much better. love, a girl whose "LDR" just started. not gonna lie, it sucks.
• @Yo dat ginger on ATV: This just got real awkward real fast. -TheOtherGinger
• @You're probably not addressing this to me": No I'm not haha, I was referring to my ex girlfriend, but I'm glad what I wrote was helpful to you. I'm not sure what weight you're referring to, but since this is anonymous feel free to say whatever you think might help. Definitely talk to a counselor if you think that might help. I've done that a few times in my life.
• "Nothing makes me feel better than when strangers reply nice things to my rants: Glad you feel that way! I do too. Whoever the sweet guys and girls are that are doing this so often, you all are awesome and I hope you find happiness :)
• @Reddit is leaking: Ew yourself. I’m a Redditor also. Yeah it’s overflow/leakage, but Imgur seems to be a nicer community, and I like it just as much. So calm your tits.
• Am I the only straight single guy that the ladies of AU aren't looking for?: No way man, I'm in the same boat you are! Form a wing man support group haha?
• I miss you. You know it. My friends say you miss me. I just want to talk with you! I hope you're in a good place :) You'll always have part of my heart.
• @"accidentally blocked cute guy on grindr": Can't you just unblock everyone and go back and re-block everyone else except him?
• BOND >> ELECTION
• I feel like every conversation I have with you ends the same way: with you pretending that you're sorry and me apologizing when I have nothing to apologize for. Can't you just listen to what I have to say for once?
• That's why I read these too. Maybe I've written one about you? :)
• @Out of all the girls that I know here, none of the ones I like are interested in me at all. Seriously, where can I meet single girls? (not parties)...in class, on your floor, in the library- you'll find someone- and you don't know they're not interested in you. They very well may be!
• I miss you. You know it. My friends say you miss me. I just want to talk with you! I hope you're in a good place :) You'll always have part of my heart.
• @Thank you so much for that reply, I really needed it: Aww, no problem haha, you're welcome! For what it's worth, I'm trying to get over someone too. I still miss her but there's really no reason to since she doesn't seem to care at all. I just want closure haha. Maybe that would help you?
• I really like you. Don't be afraid to tell me if you like me too.
• @"@Gay Ranter - We're everywhere… look around." Seriously, if you are, then I'm either oblivious, don't know if you're gay in the first place, think you're way out of my league or taken, etc. If we're seriously looking for the same things (first character and personality, then great-if-it's-there-but-not-necessary "extra" stuff like a good body) then how do we make this work? Not everyone's on grindr. Are you?
• Shoutout to my friends...this weekend was hard for me and coming back to campus and seeing you all again made me feel a lot better.
• I wonder how many people read Eagle Rants...
• i hate all the woozles. HUGHES 4th you kill me.
• @ "I'm too miserable to stay with him and too in love wirh him to leave him. Help?" Make him have an "accident," then get a taxidermist to stuff him and periodically send romantic Christmas cards back to his family. Problem solved.
• for those who keep saying that it was a drunk person who pulled the fire alarm I highly doubt that is true because someone pulled the alarm on my floor and only north side of my floor had to evacuate, not the rest of you guys. It's probably someone who still has yet to learn how to cook.
• THESE HANDS OF MINE BURN WITH AN AWESOME POWER!!! ITS BURNING GRIP TELLS ME TO DEFEAT YOU. TAKE THIS! MY LOVE, MY ANGER, AND ALL OF MY SORROW! SHINING FINGAAAARRR!!!!!
• So far, the ruling class has succeeded in using the leisure the revolutionary proletariat wrested from it by developing a vast industrial sector of leisure activities that is an incomparable instrument for stupefying the proletariat with by-products of mystifying ideology and bourgeois tastes.
• I'm in love, I'm in love, and I don't care who knows it!
• I don't mind dating, but I'm bored with my current dates. I really want to start having sex again soon. I aim to please. I'm a single straight male. Ladies?!
• She became a selfish bitch who treated you like garbage for two months. Three girls like you. I'm one of them. Get over her. She doesn't deserve you.
• Im too sexually frustated ... this sucks its like drinking is the only way to hook up with girls :(
• Anderson 4 South needs to drink more
• It was supposed to read "limb my limb" I apologize, I was so angry I wrote it in a hurry and forgot to do a rigorous grammar check to avoid being skewered by the AU community
• AU MEN: it actually would be preferable if you wore a shirt that said SINGLE STRAIGHT GUY: ACTUALLY NORMAL. I like knowing if you're not gay. It's helpful.
• My LDR is tearing apart my soul. It's so hard. It's so hard. It's s hard. It's so hard......
• There's an Overheard at AU Facebook group. Seriously funnier than Eagle Rants. Join it, join it, join it.
• My heart hurts.
• I'm sorry. So sorry.
• "Guy on Anderson 5N bridge: Yes, I can see you shirtless. No, it's not a problem. 6th floor Anderson bridge - do it up" Enjoy the gun show -- Guy on Anderson 5N bridge
• I'm scared I'm going crazy.
• Is there a website where I can type in the tv shows i like and then it gives me recommended shows? I feel like I've already watched all the good shows on netflix. And the shows netflix recommends are shows I have already seen.
• What is the best way to handle LDR loneliness?
• Killing me softly..
• I have to write 3 more pages. I'm reading Eagle Rants. I hate Eagle Rants. Damnit
• @"Is it normal to want to kill yoursel after your first breakup (following a two year relationship)?" I am sure it's normal to be really sad after a break-up, but if you are feeling consistent suicidal thoughts you really should talk to someone. And talk to your friends too.
• DO I EVER CROSS YOUR MIND ANYTIME? DO YOU EVER WAKE UP REACHING OUT FOR ME? DO I EVER CROSS YOUR MIND ANYTIME? I MISS YOU.
• Sexted for the first time. It went very well. Thank you to the lovely lady.
• If we as a generation want to be better and more accepting than the current one, we need to stop listening to morons like bill maher and glen beck- and accept one another's opinions...
• I literally can't get out bed without being high first. I know I'm pathetic, and I know I need help. But if I admit I have a problem then he was right to break up with me and cheat on me. And I just can't accept that. -lost in a painful daze
• My roommate smells. Take a shower hippie.
• If I can just make it until May, my LDR will be over and I can be with him. I just have to make it until May without overdosing. I can do this. I can do this...
• Getting a nosejob was so not worth it. I thought the painkillers would numb the pain after the surgery, but it still hurts like nothing I have ever felt. It feels like a dinosaur is chomping my face and won't stop. Why did I do this.
• So much sound in the morning... What are you doing, building a railroad?
• All the girls and guys here keep wanting to meet that special someone. I do too, and I think the only solution is to have just a huge single's get together or set up blind dates or something. Seriously.
• My ex has the maturity of a fourth grader. I'm so sorry, ladies.
• Hahahaha, smoking just got banned on campus. Prepare for week long wars on eaglerants.
• @advisor: What that should actually say is: My advisor told me I should drop out of grad school. FML.
• You guys really really really REALLY need a new web design. It's like the Internet circa 2006 all up in here.
• Sometimes my gaydar is bad and I end up liking someone you think is gay only to realize he's straight a few weeks later. The bad part is? I still like him
• Down with the smoking ban!
• Hey Kerwin, I'm terribly allergic to flower pollen, perfume and spring in general. Why don't we ban these next?! I'm pissed off and I don't even smoke.
• AU seriously, I don't even smoke but I would never limit the rights of those who choose to do so. And smoke affects me too (allergies) but I walk away from smokers when they are near me. So easy, right? Why do we need a ban then?
• I'm going to take up smoking as a protest to this ban.
• I've been breathing secondhand smoke for my entire life, and I'm pretty sure that I'm a lot healthier than 95% of the hypochondriacs who pushed for this measure. You can't walk up stairs without getting winded because you eat s*** all day and only sleep for six hours a night. A whiff of cigarette smoke might be nice to blame for your problems, but it's not really the source of them.
• Dayman, fighter of the Nightman, champion of the sun, master of karate and friendship for everyone.
• I still don't know what to do. Give me honor. Show me what is right.
• If Kevin broke the rules, he deserves to be fired. End of story. Sorry not sorry.
• I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?
• Yo they bannin' smokin? Kerwin is a fascist! Obama is pissin' me off! Ronald Reagan is the devil! The New World Order own this school!
• The Smoking Ban has very good intentions, though I fear most students who are smokers will not respect the rule. Nevertheless, I'm confident that the amount of dangerous secondhand smoke will be reduced because of the rule.
• @Grindr ranter: I know I've told you this before, but I guess I'll just have to say it again. If you want to find a decent guy, get off Grindr. You go to AU, there are plenty of great gay guys on campus (not as many as the masses would let you think, but still a good amount more than other places). Go out and meet people and leave that app behind you. -Your gay conscience
• There should be a word for when you get judged at the supermarket checkout for being weird things. "Shop of shame," maybe?
• The awkward moment when you have to flag down a cab because you're not strong enough to carry all your groceries back to your house. The even awkwarder moment when your house is four blocks away. The driver laughed at me. Kinda deserved it.
• Stop texting me.
• I'm sure that guy I saw wearing a t-shirt with "vagitarian" written on it gets laid like JFK.
• Chicks dig the facial hair, tehehe. Losing weight and looking cute are great ;)
• Where are all the exotic girls at? I'm tired of vanilla ;)
• I really want to ask the cute dance team girl from across the hall out to coffee.
• "Am I the only straight single guy that the ladies of AU aren't looking for?" - nope! i'm in the same boat.
• I never want to come back from abroad. EVER. And though I plan to return, part of me will forever die when I have to leave.
• Things used to be, now they not Anything but us is who we are Disguising ourselves as secret lovers We've become public enemies We walk away like strangers in the street Gone for eternity We erased one another This is the most relatable song I've ever heard...
• I have to stop leaving all my work for the night before. All I want to do is sleep.
• you suck editor!
• A single nonrevolutionary weekend is infinitely more bloody than a month of total revolution.
• Hey cute brunette I made eye contact with in the library...what up
• Sometimes I just want a friend. I'm lonely. But then I remember that I don't like anyone (including myself).
• Pandora Christmas music stations are sooo good. Classical Christmas is the best.
• I'm a freshman and still have never been in a relationship, and have never really pursued it. Am I a freak?
• I hate that i am constantly eating
• I went to the counseling center a while back because of minor problems and I used up all of the allotted sessions. Now I'm feeling unbearably depressed and I don't know what to do: I didn't know it would get this bad but I already used up the counseling center a few semesters ago when I didn't really need it.
• Why weren't you in class today?!? I actually put in the effort to look cute and still get there on time. What a waste that you didn't get to see me. ; )
• Every time I become slightly annoyed at the tardiness of the rants, I remember when they used to be posted weekly. I can't complain after all because the current frequency of posting is much better for procrastinating.
• I'm scared.
• I'm gonna start a riot for a new rants editor.
• just read some "LiberalsRTools" comments/rants/tirades mostly I guess because I hate myself and wanted to see how low humankind can sink. it was the bummer I expected it to be.
• I'm so done with this editor.
• ohh who gon win de erection?
• Remember, Remember the fifth of November, Gunpowder, treason and plot. I see no reason why the rants of the season the editor hath forgot...
• I could really use the rants tonight, Editor.
