• Tired of everyone blaming everyone involved in Greek life for such negative things as collegiateacb. While there certainly are some less-than-excellent humans in sororities/fraternities, my sorority has openly denounced the website. Regardless of that, I know none of them would contribute to the site anyway because they're not awful people.
• To the guy talking loudly on the staircase of the silent floor.Dude, being in the staircase only makes your voice louder. p.s. your conversation has so much depth it amazes me.
• @events at AU/”angry black man” poser: Clubs are only allowed to post their events in the all school emails a set number of times. So if you are only looking at that day’s email of event listings, that will not be a complete list of the day’s events, just the ones that were advertised that day. Maybe try using a day planner and write down the events you want to go to as you see them. Also lots of events are posted on flyers, so read the bulletin boards. Especially the ones in BT and Katzen.
• @“@Healthy food chick: What healthy free food are you talking about?” Student club events usually have pizza, but school sponsored SIS events and SPA events usually have food. At every SIS event I have ever been to (ie the stuff always going on at the bottom of the big staircase in the center of SIS) there is always healthy food from Whole Foods. Hope to see you there.
• My doggie has an ear infection. :(
• Do guys who enjoy violent war-like video games usually have aggressive personalities? Are there any hippie, sensitive type guys who like violent video games? @"No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable" -Socrates "Do you even lift?" - Plato
• What is “Eva”?
• @“Does he do amazing things for you when you visit him?” I have offered to visit him, but he always wants to be the one to visit me. I think because my place is bigger and quieter. Or maybe he keeps a sex slave in his closet at his place..
• My hump, my humps, my humps my hump my humps. Check it out.
• @“I just want education to be free and people to care about each other.” Ditto. Is there any place where such a wish exists in real life? Maybe somewhere in Europe.
• I love it when ranters come to the aid of fellow ranters to defend them against bullies. I wish my high school was made up of people like you guys.
• @“Her tits and bra are probably comparable to chips and a bag of lays.” Aren’t bags of lays a form of chips? Why the need to differentiate the two? Maybe work on your joke a little bit more and try again next week, buddy.
• I think I inhale way too much nail polish remover as I repaint my nails like every other day.
• @ageplay ranter: Yes. r u f or m? what are you into more specifically?
• HeyEagleRanters,ILoveWatchingDocumentaries Have you seen Fog of War?
• @nudist colony that endorses flannel and weed: Yo, it's called Reed College in Portland, Ore. Google it.
• @i like movies: there are a bunch of good movies coming out this month, want to go to see something at Mazza on the 27th? Say around 7ish?
• @"I’m seriously considering buying a hooker." Don't do it. The good ones are really expensive, so you'll convince yourself to go for one of the cheap ones, and even those are a pretty penny. And it'll be over before you know it, at which point you'll realize that you are incredibly unattracted to this person, and that you just wasted a ton of money on what is essentially enhanced masturbation. But mainly, you will be mown down by a freight train carrying an express delivery of 500 tons of crippling loneliness.
• @history girl: library of congress guy here. I'm a CAS major, and I enjoy cooking, hanging out with my friends, and singing. As far as what I'm looking for in a relationship, I'm really open to whatever happens. Interested?
• I propose a new AU tradition, the Undie Run, we can do it in the spring, and have it benefit a good cause, c'mon lets spread the joyous image of human kindness!
• I just want some oxytocinnnnnn
• what do other ace people think about asking the au glbta group to add another a to their acronym? worth the effort?
• well I could always get a blow-up doll
• Everyone on here is literally stupid. Peace out.
• @"We met last Monday at an event"...I met him Friday, sorry! Good luck finding your lovah. (PS, just go ahead and ask him/her out, LIFE IS SHORT BRAH.) :)
• Ok, there's so many people here talking about how they need to get laid. You all need to do one of two things: either have an orgy or go out for a night on the town. With the help of trained professionals, no one is out of your league. I'll leave the actual details out...
• So my roommate has his headphones in and is listening to what I'm pretty sure is bad porn. He's not watching, just listening. . . Not sure if I should leave, he seems like he's enjoying it, but his hands are out, thank God, so . . . I think I'm gonna just act like I don't hear it. #AvalonProblems
• I kind of want to have sex with three girls. God damn it now I have to decide which one to pursue!
• @I need to get laid so badly I think I'm starting to get attracted to anyone with a pulse: I hear ya! If you're a lonely lady, we should meet up =p
• I might have to stop reading eagle rants until this history major and her parade of lover applicants blows over. For real, this isn't eharmony or match.com up in here.
• @i cant stop pooping. this is problematic: embrace your normative excretory functions. . or if you think you're in trouble, take something to stop. if that doesn't work, get to the ER. . ..
• @"that awkward moment when you're 20 minutes late for class because you've totally been dancing naked in your room by yourself for the past hour…" - the only problem there is with this is that you were "by yourself" :)
• @I'm sorry for those messages, but you seemed interested from what I could tell: I can't tell if this is for me, but if it is- I am interested in you! Message me again so I know if it's you!
• @I'm really going to miss this semester for one reason: we most likely won't have any more classes together: I think this is for me :) I'll really miss you too girl, I want to keep in touch!
• @If I applied to medical schools in August and I still don't have any interviews or acceptances, should I accept the fact that med school is not happening for me?: No, reapply when you can! Also have you reached out to any of your contacts who could be helpful in offering positive feedback? Just stay focused on any prospects with jobs or any med school connections you do have, and it'll make it easier for you to stay positive. Even if med school doesn't happen for you right away, don't accept that it never will!
• @History girl here: Wow, lots of responses. Not to sound vain, but to those seriously interested could you list off a little about yourselves?: Sure, I'd be happy to! I'm also studying History. I sing in a choir, love going for walks and running, and writing short stories and poetry. I love exploring Georgetown, Adams Morgan, Bethesda, Alexandria, and enjoy the Mall and all the museums. I'm a book worm and love classical, medieval, Renaissance history, you name it! I'd love to hear more about your interests!
• @That moment where there's a chance an Eagle Rant could be about you…: This happens to me ALL the time!
• @Thank you! As a girl I always feel so bad for guys because there's so much pressure on them to ask a girl out! I wish more girls just went for it…rather than complaining someone else isn't asking them out: You sound really sweet! Thanks for this advice! -Grateful Guy
• @discovered eagle rants…there goes any form of productivity. oh well. its the end of the semester anyways: Story of my life! Don't try to fight it! I did. Then these became a daily thing for me, and I realized I was happy to admit my addiction to them!
• @Not even being sarcastic though, all white people look the same: Uhm no, we don't. . I don't think all black or Asian or darker Latino people look the same. Hope you're joking!
• @This girl is perfectly awesome amazing, I gotta find a way to tell her how I feel before someone else swoops in, but how, how I ask you HOW!!!....(this is the part for response with advice): DUDE I need the same advice. Ladies can you help us?!
• @"Heh, hopefully you’re who I was ranting about, but at the same time I’m not certain. We met last Monday at an event, but it took me a while of thinking before I even worked up the courage to anonymously rant." Sorry I think you are talking about someone else. Hope you find him/her! Good luck :)
• @I'm seriously considering buying a hooker.: DON'T DO IT. SHE'S SOMEBODY's DAUGHTER. Imagine this was your sister or aunt or mother doing it.
• @GAHHHH I can’t figure you out at all. I’m ok with being friends, I’m ok with something more, I just want to know WHICH IT IS.: I think this is for me. Try to talk to me about this in person, okay? :D
• @• Can eagle rants please start a spin-off called Eagle Love where single AU students can meet other single AU students?: Yes this HAS TO HAPPEN!
• @I want to punch SPA kids..... We will destroy you.
• I have finally learned the meaning of AU goggles #guyproblems
• I'm falling for a girl who has a boyfriend. They'e separated, and he has been a real jerk to her. I have no idea if she'll stay with him, it's completely her choice. . but I know I could make her so much happier! I hope she leaves him, she deserves so much better!
• @Socrates: Amen.
• @ person who wants to suffocate roommate with their ass: I've never laughed so hard in my life. I feel you girl, I want to suffocate my roommate with my ass too.
• @34DD isnt all that big: Haha thanks, but when women tell me their bra size it just tells me whether or not their Asian. I'm sure you have great breasts though ;)
• HAHAHAHAH Roommate, I actually don't clean the bathroom floor with your towels, but I'm glad I got you scared. Don't worry, it'll be over soon.
• @More interesting history major: You sound much better than the other horny history major since I don't want to just hook up with a random and you're model height and I'm tired of all these little people. I love watching good movies and cuddling, playing video games (I'll even let you beat me), and exploring the city (usually for weird and interesting restuarants), I'm slim 6'0" and down for whatever.
• @Dislikes roommate girl: Please suffocate your roommate with your ass, that would be the greatest snuff film ever.
• @History girl: More information? I was the one that listed the most but I guess what I want out of a relationship is someone to explore with whose smart and strong enough to do things on their own but also a healthy sexual appetite and if youre really amazing you can challenge me and we can make each other better or I can just take care of you, I'm down with either. You should list more info about yourself or just go to okcupid if youre truly desperate. And you're welcome for the compliment.
• @Girl Perspective: Thank you for acknowledging that I know how to talk to women and not be a creeper. I think you're right and I like that you took a minute to rant about it.
• Of course. I'll come back to you. Even if you don't promise to wait. I'll return knowing you'll be here.
• Even if the morrow is barren of promises Nothing shall forestall my return To become the dew that quenches the land To spare the sands, the seas, and the skies I offer thee this silent sacrifice.
• Can we all stop having nasty b*tchy attitudes? No one cares what you think if it's just negative and derogatory. If you wanna be nasty, type it out but do us all a favor and don't hit submit.
• Omg so many good poops and jack off seshs in Centennial bathroom. RIP 3
• @Person complaining about lack of exciting things at AU: Too bad DC isn't an amazingly awesome fun city, that'd make things so much easier! :/ [Sarcasm]. Or better yet, start your own club, whatever you deem "interesting."
• @Went abroad and learned fetishes: Where exactly did you study? I wanna know....you know....for science. I WANT TO GO ABROAD AND HAVE OBSCENE AMOUNTS OF SEX AND BE TIED UP AND FALL IN LOVE. brb making my appointment with AU Abroad
• @"A": Sexually frustrated M here. Roomie doesn't know I like dudes, so that may be a little problematic...hows your room lookin? You live on campus?
• Girls here at AU really need to stop vagina-blocking so hard.
• I know we’ve only occasionally hooked up with each other, but I can’t help getting attached to you. I know you’re interested in me too, so why can’t you just make the move?
• Why does the Hughes Printer always break......?
• I think I might have to add Eagle Rants to my bookmarks on top of my internet. I check it that often.
• To be perfectly honest, people aren't attracted to overweight people because it's UNHEALTHY, it's just like how we aren't attracted to sick people because they aren't HEALTHY. I'm not saying everyone needs to have a perfect body, but if you aren't at a healthy BMI you should really exercise and eat healthier, because you're unhealthy, and that's the underlying reason why people aren't physically attracted to people that are very overweight.
• I hate my chinese/scttish roommate. Her feet are translucent.
• Why do I stress myself out over stuff? I should know there's nothing to worry about here... but is there?
• Netflixxxx me Netflixxxx me!
• That moment when you find out a really cute girl you like voted for President Obama, and then gloats about Romney losing. You attraction DIES.
• To random civilian: I want to sincerely thank you for your appreciation. The words and actions of support help us get though the tough times. I will be sure to keep the clip of the Eagle rant, and take it with me to show my buddies. It is really nice that people don't forget what we do.
• @"Omg please sleep with me immediately [...] little piggy?" Sorry, not only am I very, very picky about the people I date, but I'm actually with a guy right now. And thank you for the lovely comment that certainly agrees with the voices of anorexia in my head. I'm glad I'm in a strong place today, or that might have bothered me. I'm surprised that you think my critique had anything to do with what I look like. Even so, I’m 5’11” of beauty and kindness, and you’re a judgemental jerk.
• To the nonplussed asexual: Hey there! Yes, I was rather disappointed as well with my forays into sexual things. I haven't gone so far as sex, but I'm not really all that curious, either. But look, even if you liked sex, you'd still be an ace depending on your attraction to others. Only you can determine your orientation. AcePride! :D (Also, the other day, I kept seeing people wear ace colors; it was cray.)
• @"remember the guy who used to post poetry in the rants section? I wonder what ever happened to him…" Probably all the messages saying to quit it... :/
• It's sad to see the administration so condescending. Being polite or being rowdy won't work since they won't take students seriously anyway.
• @"I love watching movies, playing video games, and exploring the city.... Any Takers" - Yes! - I know it's thanksgiving break. but meetup after break? what works for you?
• I Can't figure out how you people have such trouble finding boyfriends..I transferred here and was locked down within two months to a hot athlete
• lol @ you for thinking only one girl hates you. I speak for us all.
• @"I would like to punch every SPA kid in the eye." correction: every SPA *leadership kid
