• There's a guy here who looks like a young Elijah Wood. And I've run into him about three times in the past week. Me gusta mucho!
• why are people here such pussies about asking someone out
• friday time to get wasted
• Is it weird that I love scratching my hair so the dandruff falls on my paper or desk?
• We need a cool name for the AU shuttle AU+Shuttle= AUTTLE bam, mind blown. lets do this
• If you are bored at AU, you have a mental disorder. I go to between 5 and 10 guest speakers, club meetings, fun AU events a day. And all have awesome free food. Get a life loser. Stop shopping online or watching porn and go experience AU. The people here are the smartest and most interesting I have ever met. The problem lies in you my darling.
• @What's your ring size/you sound like a keeper: :) You totally made my day/week/month. Thanks for the advice and compliments. -LDR girl
• @ the guy who wants to whore himself out : I'm down ;)
• When you're walking down the hall and you feel something fall...
• Hwk, I think I like you.
• GET YOUR CRAY ON, GET YOUR CRAY ON, GET YOUR CRAY, GET YOUR - WHY SO SERIOUS?
• So the girls' bathrooms on McDowell 5 now have lovely messages on the backs of the stalls, courtesy of me. Ladies, please stop taking them down and throwing them out, and stop making our bathroom a festering cesspool of drying, gummy urine and unmentionable substances.
• Don't Freud this up. S&M 'desires' aren't necessarily results of early child abuse. You like what you like, end of story.
• Where is EXO's comeback?
• I'm so tired.
• I think I'm gonna do it! I think I'm gonna ask him out!!!! Here goes, this is gonna be so embarrassing . . .
• @"What causes S and M desires? Early child abuse?" Nope. I'm a girl with a submissive S/M, Dom/Sub fetish and I was never hit or dominated before my sexual encounters. It's just like a guy being into ass or something. it's a preference and can have to do with a zillion different things.
• Eaglesecure is such an oxymoron
• Songza's playlist "At a '90s School Dance" seriously makes my life.
• I don't understand why all the girls here are asking for guys to make moves. I've asked out like three girls this semester and they've all pretty much said no. Get your stories straight.
• You know I'm such a fool for you.
• Clearly you did not find their buffoonery amusing
• A boyfriend who makes his girlfriend feel like she needs to work to keep him is an a**hole. People in a relationship should try to be good for each other, but having that be a totally one way street isn't right.
• Thinking of trying out for the cheerleading team next year, but I read that in addition to cheering, tumbling, etc. they judge you on "collegiate appearance." What does this mean?
• @ I won 10 bucks thanks to Chlamydia!!! Other options were Gonorrhea and the South American parasite that swims up your urethra. Let this be a lesson, stay clean or be forever the subject of ridiculous wagers. We still have to give you that money. Next time I see you, I'll have my five dollars in hand. You'll have to hunt the other one down for their wager.
• Wednesday night we had a great conversation for like 40 minutes in Kogod. I want to get to know you better, but not sure if you're gay or straight. honestly, just being friends with you would be chill too. hopefully by the time these are posted I already have your digits ;)
• Pot, cookies, and more sex. Another perfect evening. 10/10.
• @kinky sex stuff. Just keeping going and going like the energizer bunny until one of you uses the safeword and even after that go for at least another five minutes
• @.....I’m so horny I actually considered maybe you weren’t being sarcastic, cause I love rim jobs, and f***ing you while you f*** your girlfriend sounds so incredibly hot to me. Please humor me and rant that maybe that last part is a viable option…? Um... I was being sarcastic about most of that stuff (including the rim jobs)... The last part was kind of true, only for the fact that I don't have a girlfriend. If you find me a girl to f***, then it would be a viable option for us to have a fantastic orgy.
• That point when you've been masturbating so long that just thinking about masturbating or anything sexual makes you depressed
• I got soul but I'm not a soldier
• Am I seriously the only monogamous guy here?
• Met the cutest girl at the Library last night :) I can't wait to talk with you again!
• @Do guys always secretly want to have sex with lots of girls even when they're in a relationship?: No. If a guy told you that, he's a manipulative jerk. Men aren't biologically designed for monogamy, but if you go off strictly biological models, women don't need men to support them after they become pregnant, and people would reproduce at absurdly high rates. So no, any guy that's worth staying with will be faithful to you.
• @Well, I oats know you: Smartphone autocorrect fail lol? Hate when that happens.
• That moment when you realize you're over her- ECSTASY!!!
• That's the ninth time an AU student or employee has asked me if I voted for Obama. Not academically, not as a poll, but to make sure that I voted for him. What if I didn't? It's presumptious enough to ask a stranger who they voted for, and just plain obnoxious to make it clear what the "correct" answer is.
• @ I don’t care if we just got knocked out of the rankings and our library is even worse than yours… I’m still glad I chose GW over AU. Then why are you reading our rants? #smellslikeregret #shedoesn'tevengohere
• @Barry Zuckerkorn -- Oh, I hired him a hundred years ago to find out if your father was cheating on me but he never did find anything. He's the best.... Gene was far from the best.
• @"I'm very quiet and lonely." I'm so sorry you're lonely. Really. I was lonely for more than half of high school, but here I was lucky enough to find a great group of friends. But I remember what it was like. It sucks. Try joining a club or ask people from classes to study, do work together, grab food, etc. You're next best friend could be across the room and you don’t even know it. You have nothing to lose. It’s scary and intimidating, but so worth it in the end.
• @"So…who’s into some really, really f’d up sex stuff?" Yep, that'd be me.
• Whoever wrote about CollegiateABC, I hate you. I don't know what compelled me (other than curiosity) to google that, but now I feel disgusting. The threads and comments on there were so vile and rude and demeaning. The frat bros/sorority biddies need to find some hobbies or get a life and stop attacking each other. It makes me sad that people like that actually exist.
• @"sex is gross" Hear hear. -Ace
• @"…que?" I'm not the ranter, but it was sarcasm to indicate how preposterous it is to suggest support systems/awareness for majorities.
• @"Biostats, CS major flatmate, etc." - O. M. G. I know exactly the type of person your flatmate is. I'm a CS major, and I have encountered this type of person occasionally. They just bask in the geekiness of Computer Science without actually knowing enough to be an actual geek. They are the worst; they don't understand simple concepts, yet they consider themselves the quintessential CS nerd. ugh
• @"What causes S and M desires? Early child abuse?" Nobody really knows where kinks come from, but in short, NO. Most kinksters have not had an abusive past, and not all abuse survivors become kinky. Out of all the kinky people I know, not a single one has been abused within their lifetimes. Please don't try to pathologize kink.
• You put me in a hellish purgatory. I know I don't want to live without you. But the bitter loneliness of not knowing if I will be with you or without you is eating me alive.
• LDR people (and other interested parties): Did anyone else read the study published in TIME about how being physically apart from your significant other reduces his oxytocin levels, leading to increased feelings of wanting to stray? I therefore disagree with the ranter who said if your LDR bf is thinking of leaving then that means he already has made up his mind about leavig. It is scientifically normal to have feelings of wanting to stray in an LDR. But if you can make it though, then it is more than worth it. Hang in there.
• Two to the one from the one to the three. Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe
• Why are all the fetish porn sites so violent? What about nonviolent sweet innocent fetishes? Like teddy bear fetishes?
• I just want to say, to all those people who are kind enough to reply to the rants of strangers with helpful advice and thoughts: You guys are the best. You have helped me through the lowest times in my life. I try to pay it forward to other ranters as much as I can, and will keep trying as long as I am here. I love you guys. Ranters rule! :)
• Gingerbread house making is probably the funnest thing ever.
• Thanks for the dream website. I have been using it to analyze my dreams every morning.
• Why are you doing this to me? Do you enjoy watching me suffer? Or is this just another one of your sick games where you see how far you can push me before I can't be pushed anymore? Why do you purposefully push people's buttons? Why are other people's feelings a game to you? WHY?
• Eagle ranting is my antidrug.
• Actually scratch that, I usually eagle rants WHILE doing drugs.
• Saying you are going to kill yourself every time something doesn't go your way is not cute or funny. It's highly offensive to people who actually do have suicidal thoughts.
• I love pancakes. But I am never up early enough for breakfast. And I am far too lazy to make them myself. #firstworldproblems
• I have a theory that LDR girl, open-marriage girl, and emo girl are all the same person. And I think I know who she is.
• My friend was doing nitrous last night and was convinced she was a couch. I need new friends.
• “Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life Trying to make ends meet You're a slave to money then you die."
• @S&M Desires: A lot of different things inspire people to embrace S&M--don't believe stupid myths about kinky people. Why don't you research it more and see for yourself, vanilla?
• @Ranter envying Kristina on Parenthood for having cancer: If you're unhappy with your boyfriend, do something about it, or find another person to be jealous of. Saying you're envious of a character with cancer because her husband has been more attentive is purely offensive, and it shows that you need to think before you rant.
• Whoever ranted about the horrible gossip site: You're an a**hole, that site needs to die.
• EagleSecure is ruining my life, and I've only been here for half a semester.
• To the hot girl who was doing ab work on the side at the gym: I saw you check me out as you were leaving. Next time don't be afraid to say hi. Would love to have your number
• @Human Instrumentality Project would help ranters: Agreed, this is essentially my goal in reading these.
• @Girl who looks for baby clothes after sex: I don't think thats particularly strange but chemistry would say it's slightly abnormal, are you in contact with children a lot? Oxytocin released during orgasm shouldn't make you that maternal although it works in studies with certain animals but only if their in contact with children that are not their own. Anyway from a chemistry standpoint you sound incredibly hot, we should experiment further ;)
• Sorry editor- clean version: To all my SharkFaceGang bros who went to the show: F**K YOU I wanted to go SO badly and I AM PISSED
• To Republican/Tool Factory/Person Who Doesn't Understand Economics: People are complaining about SG lying and supporting tuition increases when they said they wouldn't and if you looked at the actual budget AU is proposing it calls for a significant 3.8% increase in tution alone every year for the next 4 at least, meanwhile many other universities including Harvard have announced tuition freezes and instead of transferring our dollars into a quasi-endowment fund and spending millions on perennial flower beds or a link between SIS and the library.
• Just because the joke's old don't mean it ain't funny.
• All white people look alike
• I find the gays immoral. They made their choice.
• People who rant need lives.
• Is there a Spanish conversation club of any type at AU?
• "I don’t care if we just got knocked out of the rankings and our library is even worse than yours… I’m still glad I chose GW over AU." LOL, I love the way this GW kid tries to rationalize his/her decision by ranting at AU's school newspaper. Sorry to hear about GW, but there's no need to your emotions out on AU.
• @D from a guy named M- You sound sexually frustrated! Let's meet up. ;)
• Pretty sure my boyfriend's roommate thinks I am certifiably insane.
