• Hey boys and girls, here is your Liberals R. Tools poll of the day: who takes the title of nastiest liberal b*tch? Obama spokesperson (hack) Stephanie Cutter or "Native American" academia turd Elizabeth Warren? Vote now!
• @ "Obedience begins with consciousness; consciousness begins with disobedience." Don't tell me what to do! Fudge the police!
• Hurricane Sandy was the result of a low-pressure system around Neil Kerwin's massive ego.
• @Rufus Wainwright: I think the Jeff Buckley version is even sadder.
• I'm so sad and nobody even realizes it.
• @rufus wainwright's Hallelujah- yes! I love that song soo much! Thanks for appreciating its beauty
• @"So people say this weather is perfect for cuddling well how nice that would be…..IF I HAD SOMEONE TO CUDDLE WITH!" Yep.
• How do I deal with a loud, emotionally-unstable, passive-aggressive, and all-around rude neighbor?
• @"I know you want me too, so stop being awkward and just f*ck me." A bit forward much...
• Gay guy in crutches today: who are you? You're very cute.
• Welp she cheated. Awesome way to end a horribly crappy day. Back on the single lonely road with no cuddles and crappiness all around.. Need to go out this weekend
• editor, what's considered profanity? [Editor’s Note: Generally I follow the same rules as cable]
• Who wants to start a cuddle club on campus? It will be anonymous like AA so we won't talk about cuddle club outside of cuddle club. We will just meet in a secret location each week and cuddle. :)
• @lost everything in the hurricane: I'm sorry. At least you are safe and healthy and you have a good education. You will get past this. I believe in you.
• I'm scared to let go.
• @Rufus Wainwright's Hallelujah: actually it's the Leonard Cohen Hallelujah, but thanks for playing
• I've said I'm sorry like 20 times. When will you stop being mad at me?
• What do you mean Rants is male-dominated? Every other rant is about how every guy on this campus is gay, straight, or taken
• why "middle class" alienation? pretty sure most students at AU are def upper class
• Is it weird that I really don't like dating? I don't like uncertainty, I just want to settle down and be with someone who wants to be with me, too.
• @lost everything in Sandy: ok not to be a jerk, but unless u r a family member of one of the 30 people killed in the hurricane then no you did not lose everything. If you, your family, and your friends are all safe, you should be thankful. Stuff is stuff. If you attend AU you are insanely privileged (even if u come from a poor family, if you attend AU you have joined the priviledged class). Sorry ur shiz got ruined in the storm. But no, u didn't lose "everything".
• Finally found my CDs of what my roommate declares is "hipster shit." You know what this means, roomie? That's right: massive "hipster shit" listening party, all for you!
• Rufus Wainwright ranter, man, that was one of my mom's favorite songs. She passed away a few years ago. Haunting.
• don't get spooked by the hurst ghost
• @Rebound sexy anyone: When/where? :)
• @"Okay. Wow. As a fellow redhead (I’m assuming? Otherwise, please please stop), I have to disagree with your rant up to a point": I'm another redhead, not that person you think is trolling, and I agree with you. I lived in Britain for a semester and no one ever referenced my hair color. If anyone does, it's just something you joke about. Seriously, it's cool being a ginger, but on most days, I don't even think about it.
• Don’t get caught up in the spectacle of opposition. Oppose the spectacle!
• @"Last year I was so happy here. This year I’m flat out miserable, and I don’t know what to do.": Get to the core of why you're feeling so down and try to resolve that, and also, join a club some of your friends are in.
• @"My resolution for 2012": I'm sorry :/ At the start of the new year I was in a relationship, but now I'm single and I hate it.
• @I know how suspicious it must look: you seriously made me laugh til I was crying!!
• #iwantacuddlebuddytoo
• @how nice that would be…..IF I HAD SOMEONE TO CUDDLE WITH!: Hi. Tall straight male. Blue eyes that glow. Let's cuddle!
• When did you become such a selfish, uncaring bitch?
• The girls of McDowell 4th floor are all beautiful.
• GISHWHES has started! Death to Normalcy!
• Is anyone else doing GISHWHES? I need a support buddy.
• gxdxmmit i just want someone with whom to get drunk and cuddle IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR
• I'm really upset about the random power outage in Nebraska AFTER Sandy passed, because it cut the TV off right in the middle of Ink Master, RIGHT when some chick was about to get a fire-breathing phoenix tattooed on her vagina.
• I take oxy every night to calm my neves and ease my emotional pain. I know it's bad for me but hey weed isnt legal so this is my option if I want to sleep. How many oxy can I take a day without being an addict? I read Cindy McCain used to take 20 oxy a day when she was an addict. So I'm good taking 2 or 3 a day right?
• I wouldn't have to cut myself if you loved me back...
• I'm getting fat. Stop eating you pig.
• AU needs an ice skating rink
• @Name hurricanes after women: They name hurricanes after men too. Hurricane Andrew, Hurricane Ike.
• My bf always seems in a rush to get off the phone with me. I don't know what I am doing to annoy him. Guys, what are annoying things girls do that you prefer they would not do?
• Are eagle rants always posted in chronological order? I have a two part rant.
• This is part two.
• I have $20 mil in trust fund money and there is literally nothing I want that money can buy. The only thing I want is a boyfriend. And that's pretty much the only thing I can't buy. Fml I guess I'm destined to be a cat lady who buys her cats jewelry and cat castles. Fml again.
• I swear I feel so fat and I hate myself whenever I eat, I wish I didn't have to worry about being beautiful like some people
• @smiling is sexist: don't blame the formatting of eagle rants as the reason people aren't going along with your rediculousness. Just because you gave an "explanation" doesn't give your argument any merit. Your premise is utterly illogical. Smiling is not an activity unique to one gender or oppressive of one gender. People of all genders smile. And people prefer if others smile because people like being around other happy people. Smiling breeds happiness. It has nothing to do with gender. Again, stop being a crazy feminazi.
• I wish my boyfriend had a vagina. Semen grosses me out. Even if my bf did eat pineapple to make it taste sweet, the texture of semen is gross. The thought of having semen in my mouth makes me want to puke. And the fact that it all comes out at once is also gross (and kind of violent I think). I would much prefer to eat out a vagina. Does this make me a lesbian? I love my bf and I like having regular non-oral sex with him. #confused
• @Naming hurricanes after women is sexist. - Do you remember Hurricane Francis? My dad and I had a days-long discussion about how Francis could also be a guy's name and whether or not hurricane names could also be gender-neutral, and anyway, we've had Hurricane Andrew, right? It does seem like the majority of them are female names, but I think that might just be coincidence or expectation bias.
• I miss AU and DC and can't wait to come back from abroad
• Down with spectacle-commodity society!
• lol farted
• @"Assasin's Creed" : If the costume had gotten here in time, I was going to go as Ezio for halloween. I know.
• @ the person's playing Assassin's Creed- There are other people. My boyfriend has been playing nonstop all day/today. Crazy plot twist, right?
• gingers are so sexy
• Rant back at me if you love Taylor Swift's new album Red, blasting it in my headphones in the library, no shame, no judgement #TSwiftLover
• No Heat November! #cheapcollegestudent
• please understand-- I'm going to change rooms because I value our friendship.
• i love how the green eagles at AU cut out and taped pieces of paper on everyone's door. SO SUSTAINABLE. h
• @Naming hurricanes female is sexist: Remember Hurricane Isaac? Yeah it wasn't even that long ago. It swept through four states in mid-August and did a lot of damage, especially to Louisiana
• The Dav should really invest in better air conditioning, whenever I'm in here it's always so hot and drinking a hot drink on top of it makes it worse.
• I wish I had the confidence to go up to a sexy guy and be like "hi will you date me" but I always just look at them from afar
• I wish something scary actually ever happened to me on Halloween night, is it bad to wish my life was a horror movie sometimes
• its Halloween, but not like the cool, interesting, and creepy American Horror Story Halloween
• cuddling with Dracula is not a good idea, apparently. Especially if its the Dracula from those twilight movies, they suck at cuddling
• I want a black cat to cuddle with this evening
• Yo, dat ginger on ATV is FINE az hell. True dat.
• In the battle of the heart and the battle of the hand, we were made to be courageous.
• Happy Halloween! - I hope you eagle ranters are having a more awesome night than me. -- Sitting in the Library writing a paper. - Also Lily and James Potter died 31 years ago tonight. :(
• you suck editor.
• Seriously, why is it so hard for me to find someone? I'm so terribly lonely and girls just aren't into me. I'm single, straight, and apparently I'm cute. Isn't that what you AU ladies are looking for? Why can't I meet anyone?
• Does anyone ever listen to a band that is so good it just makes them tear up? The Color Morale is that band to me.
• Teach me how to move on as quickly as you did.
• To the guy sitting next to me in class today, I love how you wear that 5 o'clock scruff. *Sigh* You are one scrumptious entity.
• My cleaning lady told me to stop leaving my trash lying around, to not leave my stuff in more than one bathroom, and to finish the laundry she started and didn't finish. Wtf. Why is my cleaning lady giving me chores. The proletariat class is rising up. Beware.
• To the girl who discreetly sang in the Kat recital hall at 11pm Wednesday. Damn girl, you got PIPES! Keep on doing what you do. I just hope you let other people enjoy your performance next time. : )
• So the dumb*** girl at starbucks tells me thy don't have chocolate. Not that they are out, that they don't carry chocolate. Didn't even know how to respond. I didn't wan to get into a debate and hold up the line, but I could see the chocolate from where I was standing. Why am I surrounded by incompetent fools.
• Candy High from Halloween!!!!!! and also watching Cannibal Holocaust: the good life I've been doing so great lately, I just hope this weekend doesn't change that. I know that if I see you again, I'll fall again. The saddest part is that I know you'll never be there to catch me.
• I realized I moved on from my breakup when I got a 'pillar' looking at the girl in my Chinese class. Problem? I was standing up giving a presentation in full view...
• Where r the rants!!!!!!!???? Editor, do NOT ruin my Halloween. You already used up ur Halloween night of partying excuse when you forgot to post Saturday rants. I will not forgive you again.
• For some reason I have a really hard time imagining the guys in my religious community as at all sexual active. It's not that they're not attractive and that I don't see them that way-- it's that I can't imagine them seeing anyone that way... which sucks because they're mostly straight TT.TT. I'm I just crazy? This is really bothering me. It's almost like religion kills sex drives and I'm just like the exception that proves the rule.
• Is anyone else slightly scared/weirdly excited about the deface coke vending machines? I don't know who did it, and why they did it (specially since it's almost definitely illegal), but it left a very strong impression.
• Best way in the universe to get through a tough all-nighter: Earl Grey. Hot. Tea Kettle, make it so.
• Mr. Eagle Rants editor-- I know someone who knows The Eagle Editor. . . that's not really a threat, I just wanted to say it because It makes me feel important. But I've heard he's awesome, so maybe my bar for what makes me feel important isn't too low.
• You either like me or you don't. Figure it out before you talk to me again. Kthanks.
• Tell me, does the Dav only hire attractive people? Every single fucking student who works there is decent looking and stylish- even the guy who wears too much hair gel
• Why can't something good happen for me, just once?
• I really want to ask you to this event, but I like never really talk to you...
• I miss Kevin!!!!! I scream for ice cream!!!
• i miss being around people who understand me
• baby you're a firework
• Soooo, maybe I'm a little desperate, but I legit hoped you would actually ask me out. I'm not sure what to think. Either make a real move or maybe I will!
• i wonder if anyone else can tell I'm depressed
• HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!
• No Shave November
• Happy Birthday. I hope you forgive me. I hope you know that I love and miss you, and there isn't an october that goes by without me crying and wishing that you were still here.
• What's my WONK Quotient? Seriously, AU? My WONK Quotient is equal to the inverse of the Stupidity Quotient of this WONK Campaign.
• Notice to all AU people: just because a girl has a short hair-cut does not mean she's a lesbian and just because a guy is ungodly skinny it doesn't mean he's gay.
• Anderson third floor bridge: Would you like another show?
• Boys and girls of every age Wouldn't you like to see something strange
• Whoever missed Hoagie Haven, I do too.
• UGH. UUUGHHHHHHGGGHGHGH
• In the decor of the spectacle, the eye meets only things and their prices.
• Hey hands off my Capstone, I have sent 11 varying posts every day possible for the past 11 to 13 months seeing which were allowed and which were not (all following the guidelines of what is allowed in a rant). I am using it for AU media bias, as you can tell the McBride thing was a hilarious instance of unprofessional journalism, public figures can be touched... unless I know them...
• Conservatives are afraid to show they are conservative, that is why it seems they are over-represented here. And after 6 minutes with any apparent liberal you bring up the ludicrous amount of consumption they go through and get the duck-face.
• @"Eagle rants: what a fascinating study into the sad depths of middle-class alienation." You are so unique and special. You are literally the only human being who has ever pondered these questions about rants. I would love to here more about your opinions backed by that IR/PoliSci major.
• the eagle rants editor parties HARD.
• I hate that I'm still in love with you. You don't deserve me. Based on how you treated me toward the end, you don't deserve anyone really. But goddamn it. I still want you so bad. Ugh.
• Please, please don't hook up with him. I know him. He's a nice guy, fun to be around, but he's a player and uses every girl he's with. He'll never admit it but he sees every girl as a sex doll. Trust me. You deserve someone real who will love you and be committed to you. Not some stupid guy who just wants to dick around.
• If you ever want to tell me "I'm sorry", don't hesitate. I'll listen. I've missed you. Please don't worry, I forgave you long ago. But a part of me will always love you.
• That awkward moment when you find out that you and your buddy both had sex with the same girl. This is too close for comfort.
• Slackin'
• I just want to hold you close to me and whisper in your ear as you fall asleep in my arms as we used to do. I miss you every day.
• LJ, STOP TRYING TO BE TUMBLR.
• how can i be sure that a girl likes me and shes just not being nice?
• so many faceless hot girls i danced with.... why can't i remember?/
• i am submitting an eagle grant
• All girls on my floor complain about the lack of guys in AU.... when there are perfectly great guys in my floor :(
• I am submitting an ealge grant
• oihoij
• "has been in jail, has kids, deals coke, parties and has sex with students oh lets totally help him out with a petition"
• The October 31st rants still aren't up....did the editor go on strike? MAYBE ALL OF THE RUDE PEOPLE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN DISSING HIM EVERY DAY
• @" I’m a straight guy, a senior.." where are you? come find me on campus straight girl wanting a guy to kick it with
• I get it that the editor doesn't have to post eagle rants by a certain time each day.but twice now the editor simply -hasn't- posted the rants for a day. what gives man???
• hold me tdr kevin hold me 'til there's no tomorrow
• Editor, be slippin'
