• @I shouldn’t be going to a school where I’m afraid to say I’m Republican We live among the students now, hiding in plain sight, but watching over them in secret, waiting, protecting. We will prove our victory through future we help preserve. I send this message to any surviving Republicans taking refuge among the liberals. We are here, we are waiting for you, and together, we will take our country back!
• WANTED: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. Mary Graydon Hall 722. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.
• To our lovely Berks neighbors, You play electric guitar, And hammer on walls - Sounds like these are Heard from down the halls. And it sounds like you're working On some sort of porno. I don't mean to be lurking, But I hear her soft ""oh, no""s. It's weird that you say, ""Action"" Before your sexy time. So here's my confused reaction, Can you shut the eff up sometime?
• I think I have actually forgotten how to study for exams. :(
• @single student who’s losing faith in gAyU - I can never tell who's looking for girls or guys - all the girls I'm attracted to end up having boyfriends or being straight. How do we find each other??
• Can these country rants stop? I don't understand them and they take up valuable rant space.
• Cannibal Holocaust is not merely focused on the societal taboo of flesh eating. The greater theme of the film is the difference between the civilized and the uncivilized. The film asks the questions 'What is it to be 'civilized'?' and 'Is it a good thing? The film's message is "...the rape of the natural world by the unnatural; the exploitation of 'primitive' cultures for western entertainment.
• we make you fear your imperfections, when in fact they are the diamond of your being, and they will always offer unimaginable variation.
• @[Editor’s Note: That makes one of us] I JUST LAUGHED FOR 5 MINUTES I COUNTED. you are so funny and this is the best editor's note ever.
• you suck edtior!
• You suck person studying in FRANCE!
• Unfortunately, I had to get a lot work done in the library on a friday night, library lights turn out at 9. #punished for being studious
• @Life = no meaning, I hope you are the same person who said humans are useless, but even if you're not, KEEP RANTING THE TRUTH!
• I really want to run my fingers through the shorter hair on the back of your head up to the thicker, pretty curls up top.
• @person who has to keep hearing about ex gf: YES, I am in the same predicament. It really sucks, doesn't it?
• I know abusing laxatives is bad but I feel like I do it in the safest way possible by regaining electrolytes by drinking lots of powerade and getting vitamins and minerals other ways.
• I never thought we'd make out and might I say my friends and I are all surprised. I'm intrigued. Contact me.
• Turn on the freaking heat, Berks. It's cold and I pay a sh*t ton of money to live here. HEAT I SAY. HEAT.
• Neil Kerwin? I would totally tap that.
• @girl sticking up for AU guys: I totally agree. Sweet awkward AU guys make wonderful boyfriends (and future husbands). My bf was also terrible dresser until I helped him out. You can always change a guy's style at will. Finding guy with a good heart is what matters.
• Apparently I can't skype with the fluorescent light on after I've taken my makeup off or it looks like I'm about to cry. I had to keep telling my boyfriend I was fine, nothing was wrong, and he wouldn't believe me.
• My thought is that when you call someone "honey," you go from making an intelligent statement to being condescending, and I stop listening to you.
• @creative vaccum: AU has open mics almost every weekend. Join in. And Women's Initiative has cool poetry readings every so often as well.
• YES seconding the comment about photo LAs. So grateful, you guys are the best.
• @Fluffy guy Yes, there are some girls out here who love you-- the problem is at least some of us are fluffy ourselves.
• AAAAHHHH LoveActually Rant. I love you. To me, you're perfect. ^.^
• Dude, seriously, if I have to endure hearing you frothing at the mouth to your LDR from 6:00 am until 2:00 am ONE MORE TIME... You know what, do it again, I dare you, I double dare you mother f#cker! -From, Your pissed off, disgruntled roommate
• You should take like 5 showers a day because honestly, seeing you shirtless after your showers kinda makes my day, and you know I might miss the first four times >.>
• @" Dan Auerbach's voice is wonderfully sexual. That is all." OMG...h*ll to the mother-f***ing yesssssssss
• @"This is why we can't have nice things." : Umm I don't get it. Is this a movie reference or something?
• I want someone to do a sexuality study of eagle rants. the amount of people who feel compelled to make an anonymous post about their sexual exploits or lack thereof makes me lolllll. also i can guarantee all your one night stands are far more awk and less satisfying than my kinky monogamous relationship ;)
• @"my boyfriend needs magnums" lol, i thought you meant the ice cream bars and was like, ooooooh things just got interesting! but really you were talking about penis size -____- anyways, i'm a firm believer that size really doesn't matter as much as skill and good communication.
• I am in desperate need of your number. But I never see you around. Help a man out and be out and about more often!
• France/Italy Ranters: You are annoying and no one else is amused by your serial rants. Stop posting them.
• AU girls= Thirsty
• What happens when we die?
• I can't believe he's thinking of transferring. What scares me is that I can't tell if it's happy disbelief or anxious disbelief.
• Why are there so many papers??! WHY ARE THEY ALL DUE AT THE SAME TIME!!!?? :'(
• Let's talk about the hot professors on campus...
• Has anyone ever died from senioritis?
• "Ouch. I just fell and broke my pride on the steps of Hurst. The joys of being clumsy in flats without traction." You are not alone. I fall on those steps once a week. It's horrible.
• I hate how easy it is to get a guy in bed with you but how hard it is for the guy to want to date you.
• Woah that totally wasn't you guy that responded to my dramaqueen post, because the guy I was talking about I met like 2 months ago.
• Dear girls playing Taylor Swift in MGC, Yes I did just blast Macklemore so you would shut that shit off. And I won.
• @"obsessed with each other" - how did you meet? Please be obsessed with me!
• Found the address of the house that Real World: DC was filmed at. So proud that I could actually place the house correctly as being in Dupont Circle!
• Why can't I get a good cup of coffee on campus... So bitter about this HA see what I did there?
• Someone tell me a really good white people joke.
• Whenever I am near you, I undergo anaerobic respiration because you take my breath away.
• Happy birthday to my roommate! You're the biggest boy of a roommate I could ask for and you are awesome.
• People falling asleep in class are hilarious.
• Message popped up on my computer: "Windows has recovered from an unexpected shut down" What's unexpected? we still have eaglesecure..
• look i realize it's midterms and all, but seriously... using your laptop in the library bathroom stall is going a little too far
• @TAWIIL! ??? ????, yes?
• TROLL IN THE DUNGEON!!!! (thought you ought to know) • @" I want to invest more time in myself spiritually, mentally, and physically. This whole drinking, hooking up, and feeling empty at the end bit isn't working out to well. I'm excited to try and change things up a bit." Good for you! You can do it!!
• Not season 6! Tara!!!!
• Seriously, guys with big dicks scare me so much. Give me an average sized one any day. Gets the job done so much better.
• HERE GOES. People need to get over their pride. When y'all fight, if neither one of you wants to admit you messed up, nothing will ever get solved. Be brave. Tell the other person how you feel (we can't read minds here) and at the very least TRY to fix things. All month I've watched literally everyone I know have this problem over and over again. Don't be selfish. Pretty please.
• "[Editor’s Note: That makes one of us]" lol omg eagle rants editor, ur snark makes me laugh
• “Guys are usually awkward and poorly dressed until they get a girlfriend to help them a little." that...is...a weird thing to say.
• @"Wow, slut much?" Wow, small dick much?
• guys just STOP eating at salsa. It DOESN'T Get Better.
• Hey guess what, a professor doesn't HAVE to give you a study guide for a midterm. Especially when he just spent the past 40 minutes telling you what would be on the midterm. Get off of Facebook and give the poor guy a break.
• If you guys wanna date someone, ASK. The worst that could happen is you go right back to the way your life was 10 minutes before asking, and you have nothing to lose. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Just sayin'.
• Why do freshmen post their grades on Facebook? Chill out
• Dear Dr Who fanboys/girls he is a fictitious character stop the obsession its sad Sincerely, everyone else at AU
• I'm gonna hide in a locker in the library and wait for one of the asians who uses them to open it and scare the A's right out of them!
• PIKE brother in my class...you're so attractive it isn't okay.
• moooovvveeee beach! get out the way! get out the way! get out the way! :P
• I FOUUNNNNDDD you MS NEW BOOTY Get it together and bring it BACK TO ME! [Editor’s Note: Collipark Bubba Sparxxx]
• Midnight sex in the McKinley construction site... #hotashell
• the T.A. in my justice class is super hot. you know who you are #lostinyoureyes
• honestly, there are just not enough black people at this school. how am i supposed to meet my dream man, when there's no one who even comes close to a will smith? #whereisdenzel
• yo seriously, people in my cross cultural communications class need to lay off sandusky for a sec. seriously you guys, what does sandusky even have to do with IR?
• who is the asshole who keeps farting really loud in the dorm next to me? you need to seriously reconsider your diet.
• what I really need is the closure you won't give to me
• BRING BACK THE POLICE BLOTTER
• soooo who's taking the 50 Shades of Grey class next semester?
• I'm not ready for midterms. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.
• I don't think it would be my place to say this in person, but you really are beautiful. That, and you're caring, strong, and faithful. Pretty much the whole deal. That's just my honest opinion, no strings attached.
• @ The Classic Crime Nov 5 extra ticket. I only know like 4 of their songs, but I really like those songs. :) Do I count as someone who can go with you?
• It's still only Tuesday?! akfsalkdja why so many midterms???
• I want to get in your pants and you know it... quit teasing me.
• To the girl with the red plaid shoes, Nice shoes.
• How do you tell if an outing with a member of the opposite sex is a date or not? What signs should I look for?
• I hate when "supposed" friends try to impose themselves on you and give you a guilt trip for not spending everyday with them. I have midterms and other commitments!
• Hmmm.... Kerwin's house is on North Side. #WhatIsHeHiding?
• Man, I wish this BIDDIE wouldn't have cut me in line for my tenders. THAT AIN'T RIGHT.
• I found a reason for me to change who I used to be, a reason to start over new... And the reason is you ;)
• Fifty Shades of GrAU!!! lol
• All the streets around here are named after states. Anybody else think this is suspicious? #OpenYourEyes
• Solomon Grundy, Born on a Monday, Christened on Tuesday, Married on Wednesday, Took ill on Thursday, Grew worse on Friday, Died on Saturday, Buried on Sunday. That was the end, Of Solomon Grundy.
• I know you thought that was just a joke, but you have no idea how much I wish that it were true. How you don't see it at this point is beyond me, because I'm doing a pretty terrible job of hiding it, to be perfectly honest.
