• @Decemberists man I think I love you already. Pray tell me more about yourself. Sincerely, A Decemberists admirer and a chocolate connoisseur P.S. Meet me down by the water with your sons & daughters and 16 military wives
• @Why the academy boys: I don't want to marry them, I just think they look mighty fine in uniform and I want to enjoy it.
• Re: Re: naval academy husband shoppers: because those sailor outfits are HOT. Ps, I'm a straight male, but still
• are there other types of rape that are not sexual?
• Girl in my psyc class I'm straight and I have a bf, but you are so attractive to me. I like how you always look so comfortable in your skin. You don't wear make up. You ask questions without fear of looking dumb. You seem all around awesome. I wish I was your friend or lover.
• you suck editor!
• @au fondler counterpart: while I appreciate the sentiment, I have PTSD and couldn't guarantee I wouldn't punch you in the face reflexively if you surprise hugged me. D:
• Blame OIT for the elections nonsense, not SG. Actually, in terms of things Chloe could actually control, these elections ran smoother than anything I've seen in the past three years... The specific technology issues were NOT her fault.
• Please everyone, do NOT decide to fall for the "why would you marry someone in the military" bait that's inevitably going to start a 6 week long rants discussion. After tittywonkgate (Professor Pine) died down, it's been nice read actual rants about poop and cute boys as opposed to the philisophical soap operas that seem to NEVER end.
• Why am I so selfish at times and yet unwilling to accept when other people are selfish?
• "Humans are of no value": TRUTH.
• I have to walk from the Berks at 5am to get to work. Fingers crossed the fondler doesn't make an appearance
• @ "Editor’s Note: I thought I posted them hours ago, but there was an error message that I didn’t see before closing my computer which prevented them from going up." Computer: I'm sorry, Editor. I'm afraid I can't do that. Editor: What's the problem? Computer: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
• It's interesting watching TV shows and going, "Hey, this episode was totally written to get this specific character an Emmy." I'M LOOKING AT YOU, WEST WING. (though really, I love you, baby.)
• Dear Roommate, Yes, I have sex. Please stop using a blacklight on my stuff.
• @"If you have a problem with “all” the guys at AU being taken or gay, then your real problem is that you’re probably just ugly." That's true cause I'm single straight and attractive and I'm not into ugos.
• I just want to be held :(
• @Arrested Development Fan Club Ranter- Marry me!
• im too hungover to eat. oh god.
• anchorclanker 2012.
• but i hate wearing the pants in a relationship!
• and all the other boys try to chase me. . . . . . .but here's my number SO CALL ME MAYBE
• rants on rants on rants.
• Joke of the day: What is the definition of a moderate Arab? A guy who ran out of ammunition.
• Um I actually barely ever talk to you, so f*ck off and stop being a drama queen about nothing.
• @The girl looking for a girl to watch Buffy with--- yes we do exist!!! You described my perfect afternoon.
• AU need some good on campus smoke spots
• People can't hate on people who smoke weed.....they aren't hurting anyone!!
• I am so angry about the farce that is fall break. ONE DAY? Normal, public college breaks are several days. All I want right now is a hug from my Dad and it's not happening because I don't have enough travel time. Suckage.
• ooh to the transfer: where did you transfer and why? I think i wanna transfer
• @bleeding during sex: actually, for something like this you're better off going to see someone real, not the health center. It's worth it.
• I love my sorority sisters so much. I feel like that's easy to yell to the world in Marketplace as a sort of braggy thing, but I genuinely love them so much I want to say it anonymously too. These girls are saving me everyday.
• @ re: navy husband shoppers: have you ever met a military man? Ever had known someone to decide to serve their country? Sounds like you haven't. Sounds like you're just making assumptions. Silencio
• You're cute and were wearing green rain boots. We talked about how much the shuttles suck after ours broke down. I wanted to ask you out but didn't. What's your name, and are you single?
• @three races is wrong - According to science, there are only three races. Science is catching up because it is not biologically correct and comes from racist days, but according to current science textbooks, there are only three races.
• @guy who isn't looking for biddies - where is right here for you?
• To the cute guy in the black shirt working at the technology services desk around 7PM on October 7th - you're pretty cute.
• There is a really cute and gorgeous redhead girl on my floor in Leonard, who also works the desk... I really just want her to be mine :-).
• EXCUSE ME DID YOU JUST SAY DOCTOR WHO IS THE DUMBEST THING EVER? i hope all the daleks exterminate you
• When we first met I tried to impress you by pretending to be a movie buff. Using my limited knowledge of classic cinema combined with quick Google searches on my iPhone we hit it off... Now that we've known each other a few days this false persona is getting tiring. I really like you, but please please please stop talking about movies. You're so cute, but it's so annoying.
• I will gladly ride my monogrammed segway to an Arrested Development appreciation club! Will someone be bringing frozen bananas?
• Unless man is committed to the belief that all mankind are his brothers, then he labors in vain and hypocritically in the vineyards of equality.
• That awkward moment when you realize your Grindr f**k buddy (dude) and your Blendr f**k buddy (chick) are friends on Facebook. #bisexualproblems
• @ Arrested Development appreciation club: YES!
• Sexy, Free and Single, I'm ready too, bingo!
• The reason you're so miserable here is because you've let yourself become a miserable person. You don't see the good in people; you just write everyone off as soon as you find a character flaw. No one's perfect, yourself included. Stop being so judgmental and frigid
• @"DOCTOR WHO IS THE DUMBEST THING EVER": The Doctor shall split you into 4 pieces. One will be trapped in the event horizon of a collapsing galaxy, the next will be tied in unbreakable chains forged in the heart of a dwarf star, the third will be trapped in every mirror in existence, and the last will be suspended in time and disguised as a scarecrow. This is what you get when you mess with the Doctor
• For those of you consistently insulting the editor: if you have enough time to religious refresh the page and see if Eagle Rants are posted, you have got to get a life.
• Why can't I find any attractive gay men on this campus? All the guys I seem to like are either straight, taken or a**holes...
• f*** papers i just want to be sunday shwasted
• I wish the struggle bus took smart trip cards...
• The most beautiful place on campus is standing in front of the ornately dressed binding of Alexander Dumas's complete works.
• Why are there so many scrawny white boys with small dicks at AU? Seriously. Not okay. So many disappointing nights...
• There's a meat market down the street, the boys and girls watch each other eat when they really just want to watch each other sleep
• I know you like me, I just wish I didn't like you SO much more than you like me.
• I wish buying plan B at cvs got you extrabucks coupons...I would have so many.
• Best kept secret on campus: The Methodists are awesome. Free hugs. Free food. Free movies. Free awesome discussions. Free friends. I'm seriously kicking myself for taking so long to join.
• So I think you're very attractive and very nice- but I feel like I can't do anything because I went on one date with your roommate a week ago before I knew he was your roommate and you once dated my good friend. But, I've liked you from the start of the semester. So please stop being so attractive or make a move... please.
• DMS fail: So... I stood a guy up becuase I was afraid he wouldn't find me attractive becuase thr profile doesn't let girls admit that they're overweight. TT.TT
