• that funny feeling you get after living in DC for a year where you just know you're gonna be in a power couple. and you can't wait : D
• tofu is a shapeshifter. think about that the next time you go to TDR
• "Stop posting quotes from Andrea Gibson. They are annoying." - Abraham Lincoln
• you suck editor!
• "Humans are of no value." - An Asian woman talking about the quality of men at a speed dating get-together.
• @cuddling Decemberists guy - I exist! I would be so up for that!
• I'm a lesbian. I end up hooking up with guys because I can't find any feminine lezzies. Where are all the lipsticks at? -single student who's losing faith in gAyU
• Switzerland, I'm glad someone agrees with me about the lack of Italian fighting prowess (perhaps they could use some "lessons" from Austria {ONHONHON}). As for desserts, I concede that your chocolate is delicious, but our pastries (and our men) are the sweetest of all. As for waiting on my borders-is that a threat or a promise? You talk big, but you've been pretty neutral throughout, well, most of history. ~France
• Italia, You're one to talk about sovereignty-back in WWII, you got invaded by just about everyone, especially the Germans. Don't knock cozying up to the Germans just because you can't do it. And funny, I do honor alliances, just not *losing* ones like the ones you always seem to make. And true, Russia does know vodka, but I prefer fine French wine (better than Italian any day). ~France P.S. Funny that you prefer arms, considering you're quite bad at the ammunition kind.
• There are plenty of single, straight, attractive men on campus. They just don't want to date a judgmental chick like you who doesn't think that they exist/are good enough for her. Honey. You're at AU. Beggars can't be choosers.
• I think I will go around randomly hugging strangers, saying "You looked stressed!" as my only explanation. I shall be the counterpart to the AU Fondler!
• Can the botched elections be a sign that we need to eliminate SG altogether? I'm feeling rather anarchist today anyway.
• Brown-haired part of the duo at open mic: you are really attractive. Please please don't be gay
• Well then... I'm a girl looking for a girl to watch Buffy with and cuddle. And slay some vamps. Do you girls exist?
• If you want your boyfriend to propose, I don't think that flirting with other men is the good idea, especially if you want a solid marriage. Just a thought.
• @Prospie Not to give you a bad idea of AU, but you'll probs get a much better idea about what AU is like through either an overnight or Eagle Rants/Facebook. The tour guides aren't allowed to tell you ANYTHING that's not 100% fan-f***ing-tastic about our school. I'd love for yall all to come here (because we ARE great), but I want you to know what you're getting into.
• @Tall boyfriend wanted.
• "Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song, And I'll try not to sing out of key."
• @Decemberist fan. Hell yes, we exist. Bonus for you if we can discuss how Calamity Song relates to Infinite Jest.
• I DON'T GO TO AU! I LIVE IN HAWAII AND JUST HAPPENED TO COME ACROSS THIS WEBPAGE! P.S. NO WE DO NOT LIVE IN GRASS HUTS.
• @ "There aren't enough girls at this school! Every girl is either lesbian or taken. WTF?" ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Lemme tell you dude, finding a lady-who-likes-ladies here is hard as hell. And hardy anyone's in relationships. You are looking in the wrong places man. The wroooong places.
• Dude who successfully quoted Taken - you win.
• @ " My heart just isn't in my rants tonight."" That's okay. Your heart is beautiful. You'll produce beautiful rants at another time, darling babyface.
• @ Flasher - You've flashed me. Good thing you're gorgeous, gorgeous.
• @ "Does anyone know of a nice place to meet attractive, smart gay men besides Town?" I herd deres tis app caled grindr or sumthin
• Queefing is not a laughing matter. Nothing is hotter than queefing. Expelling air from such an orifice...lovely.
• @ " Humans are of no value." And who are you? A raccoon? I saw one on campus tonight, you know. I'm not surprised. Those creepy opposable thumbs....they've learned how to type. Cheer up, Mr. Depressed Raccoon.
• No, if you sang out of tune I'd glue your molars together with super glue so you couldn't open your mouth and continue to sing out of tune.
• To the girl who tried to convince the class that there are "scientifically" three races - NO, NO, NO. What on earth? Seriously? You said it with such conviction...I literally almost threw up in class. Please never raise your hand again.
• You're super cute, and I think I like you, and you sat next to me in class today. Excitement!
• In honor of the new netflix season, who'd be up for an Arrested Development appreciation club? Anyone?
• I keep hanging out with you because I know you're attracted to me and it fuels my ego; you were never a dating option. Sorry, I know I'm being horrible to you and you don't deserve it.
• Thank you for the awesome birthday message, STEP '11! Love and miss you all! :)
• Lend me your ear and ill sing you a song, and ill try not to sing out of key
• @bleeding during sex: This is most commonly caused by an STD, but it could also be a bigger problem with your uterus or cervix. Please go to the health center.
• Re: naval academy husband shoppers: why would u want a husband in the military? No say in where u live. Moving every 2 years. Inflexible rules. A corrupt legal system outside of the realm of justice. And the type of person who follows orders rather than critically thinking. Not I mention male chauvinism.
• “Lend me your ear and I'll sing you a song and I'll try not to sing out of key"
• @person who's looking for guys who aren't looking for biddies: I'm right here!
• @The Decemberists guy: we exist...
• i really liked you until you started smoking weed everyday.... now i dont think i want to be your friend anymore.
• "I'm a dude looking for a girl to listen to The Decemberists with and cuddle. And chocolate. Do you girls exist?" yes, yes, a thousand times yes.
• I literally feared for my life last night.
• If you have a problem with "all" the guys at AU being taken or gay, then your real problem is that you're probably just ugly.
• To differentiate between me and another guy with the same name, they started calling him "Hot Ben."
• #Girl in Boots: Long blonde hair (past shoulers), blue jeans in Ward. After that it was Col. Mustard in the library with the candlestick. No more clues, starting to fear being found out. (Yeah, I know I'm a nervous nellie)
• DOCTOR WHO IS THE DUMBEST THING EVER. THERE ARE PROBABLY A MILLION BETTER THINGS THAN SITTING IN YOUR DORM ROOM AND WATCHING THAT PIECE OF GARBAGE ON A SATURDAY NIGHT.
• Dear Bros kicking trashcans over on the Quad during "Anchor," You're the reason the rest of us have a problem joining fraternities. No pride in a brotherhood without responsibility. But to the bro picking up the trashcans after the actions of aforementioned bros - thank you. Sorry that you pledged loyalty to a system with a couple of token a**hats. You get a bad name for it, though. Instead of picking up after your brothers, do them a favor and tell them to grow up.
• And to DG - sorry for highlighting a negative piece of your otherwise successful and fun event. I know it takes a lot of time to plan and execute and you should be proud of Anchor Clanker! Fraternities and sororities are an important part of the AU community, and all of your effort far outweighs the trashcan kicking on the quad.
• France, I feel your pain. I wish there was a word counter on here, for my last two posts also were deleted. I suppose it's time to begin composing them elsewhere before pasting them into the rants, eh?"
• Your firearms are too short to box with God.
• i'm a girl, who likes the Decemberists, cuddling, and chocolate.
• Campus tours typically are one hour long. Bringing prospies into the dorms takes a lot of time, and quite frankly most students care about seeing a dorm more than they care about seeing a classroom. There's nothing stopping you from walking through SIS, Kogod, or any other building while you're on campus after the tour either. And to be perfectly honest, most people don't care about it--the rooms themselves don't matter nearly as much as the professors and the content. AU offers preview days and other special events where you attend a mock class.
• After coming back after god knows how many months, EagleSecure STILL doesn't work. Reason I'm glad I transferred no.29128 Suggestion for a new position on the Women's Initiative Board: Queef-in-Chief. HAHAHA
• I'm just a little confused on what to do. I'll just keep my feelings to myself, I guess.
• All of the sudden I think I have feelings for you OH GOD
• "VOLARE OH OH! CANTARE OH OH OH OH! Nel blu dilpinto di blu Felice di stare lassu."
• No body ever hangs out with me. I need a girlfriend.
• I want to be a person you can come to for anything. But I can't be.
• Well poopoo on you if you don't think I'm attractive. To be honest... I probably find you very attractive. I've never had a problem finding things to like about people. Maybe you shouldn't be so picky.
• Worst Eagle Rants editor EVER. Post the damn rants already! Its 11 PM!
• Editor, what time are rants supposed to be up? Please answer this time.
• beatles ranter ilu
• Editor, it's tomorrow. Where the heck are eagle rants? [Editor's Note: I thought I posted them hours ago, but there was an error message that I didn't see before closing my computer which prevented them from going up.]
• If I have plans with a guy that I have no intentions of having a relationship with, I drive myself. I don't let him pick me up. SO WHY DONT YOU DRIVE YOURSELF YOU F****** C***.
