• Eagle Rants Editor, I'm quite peeved that you didn't post either of my rants yesterday. They were both under 100 words (I used wordcount to check), lacking any major profanity or vulgarity, and not targeting any specific person by name. What gives? ~France P.S. Your mother was a hamster and your father smells of elderberries! [Editor’s Note: My counter said 101. Nothing personal.]
• Sorry, we should have explained ourselves further: there are no single, straight, ATTRACTIVE men on AU's campus. Attraction is the first step to a relationship. It can be either physical looks or inner soul, but either way, if there's no flame, there's no game. Sucks to suck.
• AU needs more cats. Tulane has a "cat problem." I don't see how that can really be a "problem." WHERE ARE THE CATS?
• "It is incredible what kind of mess I can make from a nine hour drive and an unanswered text. You have a heart of gold and I am kneeling in your bloodstream, panning for the only thing that has ever felt like home" - Andrea Gibson
• i wish there was a no munching loudly rule on the second floor of the library. oh yeah, also known as the silent floor.
• I'm too lazy to ever close my blinds ever so I usually just leave them open. I wonder if I've flashed anyone?
• It hurts when you realize that you have feelings for your best friend and just when you're going to let her know she gets asked out to dinner by someone else and accepts..
• @rich kid i came to AU because i love this school, i love dc, and i didn't want to go anywhere else. i paid my way through my first two years of undergrad and transferred here with zero debt. indebted student
• ask a girl on a date like a cute one where you get coffee and stuff! do ittt
• dear girl on anderson six, i know you change with your blinds up
• hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa
• @rich kid also, i feel really sad about how quality higher education is really a privilege of the upper class, to which i do not belong. this school is ridiculously overpriced. people should organize like the quebec students!
• "Dear whoever decided to steal my bike earlier this week. Thank you for totally ruining my week, not only because you stole my bike, but it was my way to de-stress and relax after having rough, stressful days. That is now gone, why do you think it is ok to steal someone's bike? What did I ever do to deserve it? Give people hugs if they seemed stressed, sometimes it is exactly what we need.
• Okay, guy who saw the cute blonde girl with boots. This could describe SO many girls. Where did this happen? How long was her hair? What else was she wearing? Help us out here!
• For the Sophomores sitting next to me in the Perch who had Bubble wrap last night. Thank you. I forgot how much of a stress reliever that bubble wrap is.
• I'll volunteer to visit the naval academy with you!
• Sometimes I question my own sanity... to febreeze or shower? ...that is the question
• Whoever is in charge of the AUSG elections needs to be replaced ASAP. Truly awful work. There was no option to write in a single candidate. I've seen some bad AU elections in the past but this tops it.
• you suck editor!
• When all the girls say all the guys are gay or taken, we really mean all the attractive ones.
• I swear to you, I just saw a family of rats running all over the tables and chairs and counters and cases of soda INSIDE megabytes. They had to have been locked in there. Seriously this is digusting. Hey Eagle, go do some muckracking and expose this. I'm sure if you camped out at night you could get a great picture of them.
• To Anderson 5N: You're welcome? Love, the pooper.
• @facebook album issues: You can drag and drop pictures within an album but you cannot (contrary to the advice of the previous person who answered) drag and drop albums themselves so as to put them back into chronological order. Once you update them (even deleting a comment) facebook moves them to the top of the line. Just make sure the albums are how you want them from the get go. And if someone leaves a comment that you want to delete, there is nothing you can do (without risking the album ordering). Hope that helps.
• Who else is got the email to be a datemyschool ambassador?
• I'm scared my parents are going to find out I dropped out of law school. :( I'm so nervous I can't sleep.
• Where are all the wiccans on campus?
• @Jane Austen novel girl : Try making him jealous by pretending to be interesting in another guy. Guys need incentive to propose, so let him think there are other people after you
• So I don't follow politics and I'm a Stats major... why am I at AU?
• I hate this girl who wormed her way into my friend group!!! She's SO fake and has been horrible to me ever since I first met her. So what the heck is she doing hanging with my crowd? My friends are nice and smart, and are actually going places in life. She is an air-headed, mean, selfish, plastic bimbo. Why do they like her? Is this middle school? Do they feel like they need to be validated by this rude skank? She is not their friend! She doesn't give a sh** about them!
• re: desk receptionist. was the resident a guy or a girl? and what hall?
• Does anyone know of a nice place to meet attractive, smart gay men besides Town?
• re: two gay friends dating -- a sincere eyeroll from a bitter single gay man
• I'd like to thank OIT for making my life more difficult.
• To the person who made a BSG reference in their comment about the debate, will you be the Laura Roslin to my Bill Adama? (I really hope you're a girl, otherwise this is mad awkward)
• @"CAUS is the least sexy thing our campus has ever had.": CAUS isn't self promoting,we honestly have no clue who is posting these rants. We appreciate them, and the students in question are flattered, but honestly, we'd really rather focus on the issues. Like the fact that the administration is attempting to raise tuition 30% over the next 5 years, causing current freshman to pay an extra $12,000 by the time they graduate. Now for actual self promotion: If this fact concerns you, come to our meetings every Sunday at 2PM in MGC
• To All Roper Two Resident Males: Whoever is stinking up the shower furthest from the door to the bathroom. I don't know you or what you're doing. But I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long life. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you stop stinking up the shower now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will humiliate you.
• To the girl in my health class who spends the entire time alternating between calorie count sites and diet recipe pages: Stop obsessing. Everyone in the back row can see what you're looking at, and you're gonna give yourself an eating disorder if you don't already have one.
• I'm sitting in my IRR class and I'm pretty sure I'm the only one paying attention who understands what a control is...what is this?
• I was disappointed at the lack of pink on campus Wednesday. Seriously, do NONE of you have pride on Mean Girls Day?
• In less than one year, we've lost the McDonalds and all the candy from the Eagles Nest. Their replacement? A Froyo machine. I DON'T WANT FROYO. I WANT MY $3 LUNCHES FROM MCDONALDS AND CANDY WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT.
• Hey people who want LSAT to be over... just wait until law school! -WCL
• I'm a dude looking for a girl to listen to The Decemberists with and cuddle. And chocolate. Do you girls exist?
• The girls here are ugly as sin!
• There aren't enough girls at this school! Every girl is either lesbian or taken. WTF?
• Hahaha no one in this class is paying attention. And it's the midterm review.
• That awkward thrice-weekly run-in with the one-night-stand who was the worst sex of your life and who has gained a good 30 pounds since then... I don't know whether to smirk or to shudder.
• You know you go to a nerdy college in Washington DC when your friend goes on a mission to find an Alexander Hamilton shot glass for a party ;)
• Humans are of no value.
• Dear AU, Why don't AU tour guides bring prospective students into buildings other than the student center? If I go on a college tour I want to actually go into classrooms and academic buildings. Worst college tour ever. Sincerely, Prospective student and the rest of the tour group.
• Dear feminists...QUEEEEF!
• Lesbians make me laugh out loud.
• I need a tall boyfriend! Find me!
• Lol I'm pretty sure my neighbor is having sex with "Sexy Back" playing
• Look, it's very easy - if you see a bike is coming in your direction very quickly, move out of the way.
• I like big butts and I cannot lie. Them other brothers can't deny. When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist, and a round thing in your face, you get sprung.... I miss childhood.
• I love my job and AU! Bringing back the rave trend :)
• At first I thought I was about to be attacked by a bloodthirsty splicer in Rapture. Then I realized that I was safe, it was just the girls shrieking in my hall. -__-
• Ah, how to bring up to the guy you really like and you're starting to date that you're a nonlibidinous asexual, so there's no prospect of getting laid. :( #aceproblems (Also I'd better see all you asexies wearing pride colors on October 11 on the quad for Coming Out Day!)
• My heart just isn't in my rants tonight.
• I wish this paper would write itself. I have no interest in it anymore.
• I need to get over you
• Lately, every time I have sex I bleed everywhere!! Last time it was because of my period, but this time that's not possible. I probably have an STD. FML
• It's 8:30 PM on Friday night. Why are there still no rants!!!!? I'm tired of pressing the refresh button over and over. GIVE ME SOMETHING! Can you at least post half the rants now and then half later?
• Where are all the guys who aren't looking for biddies?
• i wish you could just be happy for me for once
• Thing to learn from this issue of The Eagle. -Less beer = more crime Neil Kerwin is a Pakistani woman.
• I have slain the paper.
• Dude, all you can think to say about this girl is that shes "cute"? C'mon man, you gotta work on your game!
• You are the beautiful middle eastern girl (Egyptian?) who lives in Anderson, and I see you in the perch all the time. I've mustered up the courage to introduce myself to you, now its just a matter of running into you again. I'm actually really excited.
• "What would you do if I sang out of tune, Would you stand up and walk out on me?"
