• Thank you so much for posting at a reasonable hour. I had just finished reading an awful email from my family, and really needed the cheer up.
• @You’re a really attractive resident at the hall I work at- Which hall and is it a boy or girl?
• I mean the Vodka Fairy could be the Rock, but drunk. Sadly, I was way too drunk to remember. One day, I'll find him again, maybe, hopefully, please.
• @"This campus is a constant game of gay or European"- YES! And love the Legally Blonde the Musical reference :)
• I complimented a sorority girl's outfit because I was trying to be more outgoing and friendly. She glanced at me with a nose wrinkle, gave me the up-down look and walked away with her posse. Way to keep up the stereotypes.
• @ "@god can’t die: How do you know?" Only mortals are subject to death. God is eternal- that's the distinction between a god and a mortal.
• @"I noticed your attempts not to make eye contact with me" What does she look like?
• @" I just want to be asked on a date. Is that weird?" Me too!
• @"My boyfriend is going to break up with me if I rush" Doesn't sound like a keeper to me. If you want to rush, he should be supportive of you.
• @" I’ve always really wanted to be in a sorority….but the dues are so expensive" Go for it! There are payment plans and scholarships and you shouldn't let money stand in the way of having an awesome time.
• I need to snap out of this.
• @"seriously considering transferring/dropping out" :( Try joining a new club
• GOD THIS SCHOOL IS TOO SMALL. EVERY ELIGIBLE GUY I MEET HAS SOMEHOW BEEN INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE I KNOW.
• It's tough being roommates with someone so outgoing and bubbly and hot. How can a girl who'd rather be at home watching old movies, reading poetry and hanging out with a few friends compete with someone who goes to frat parties, makes a ton of friends instantly and has every guy falling over themselves for her?
• I keep feeling like I have to compromise certain friendships for other ones. Why can't I just be good friends with everyone?
• ladies, I could go for a massage....
• @boots were cute Can we get a description of the boots? I'm curious if this was me... (:
• I see you (random-dude-in-a-cutoff) everywhere!! Honestly at this point can you just tell me your name so I can say hi. This is getting ridiculous.
• I don't hook up or date because i just want to be friends with people. Whats wrong with that?
• The unicycler is in one of my classes. it's got yellow and black flames. what a badass unicycle.
• just covered the ENTIRE sis board with calculus. what now
• @ "I just like to watch you guys…" What are you watching? People on the quad? Your roommate having sex with somebody? People study in the library? People eat in TDR? The fondler fondle people on Mass Ave? The crazy campus squirrels? The construction workers across from McDowell? WHO ARE YOU WATCHING? Should we be afraid?
• This is Annyeong.
• I was into you, but backed off out of fear that I'd come off as creepy. Now suddenly you talk to me all the time and want to hang out right as my life gets busy. I can't handle this shit.
• @ I used to think I was asexy, but then I realized that I’m a lesbian who is just really dorky/awkward/ thus far incapable of landing a date. I know those feels. : l Saaame.
• I miss you more than you know.
• The Eagle Rant marriage proposal is fake. Everyone calm your tits.
• My last 3 rants haven't been posted. No profanity, under 100 words... What gives, editor?
• @Not-making-eye-contact, you're just too cute & boots aren't helping ranter: describe this person more, please.
• @girls deciding whether they should rush a sorority. Don't. AU has so many other (less expensive, less annoying) ways to meet people and get involved. Why do you want to pay money to deal with a whole bunch of catty girls? And who wants to be a sorostitute?
• We had so much chemistry last year! Why won't you just make a move already? I don't bite…hard
• "I hate TDR so much that I have the freshman 15 in reverse…"Goddammit if only it had had that effect on me my freshman year. Pizza and ice cream available everyday? I simply cannot resist
• Go away. I want to drink and don't want you judging me
• Trying to do homework in the computer lab in McDowell. Horrible mistake. First there are the guys have an insane nerd fest about how amazing they are at video games and then there was the girl having a drunk emotional moment in the vending machine area adjacent to the computer lab, and then the guy singing to himself in the vending machine area. Never again.
• America, I don't think you understand how this is supposed to go. You need me more than I need you. I'm the commitment-phobe, not you. You dislike my guns? You've been flexing your muscles from across the sea. -Iran P.S. I like it rough. ;)
• Yellow Unicycle Man!!!!
• If I troll outside the Swedish embassy I wonder if I would find a bf....
• “We can dance if we want to. We can leave your friends behind. Cause your friends don't dance. And if they don't dance. Well they're no friends of mine.” -Friedrich Nietzsche
• @ Editor’s Note: What’s your excuse for the other 1/10 times? I'm foot-tight.
• Guys, it's Michael. Some of you might remember that a few days ago I proposed to my then girlfriend, and love my my life, Lindsey. You guys actually thought that was real I even said it was fake in the rant. Unfortunately, she declined. I'm heartbroken. I'm devastated. I need a shoulder to cry on. If anyone can help me out, I'll be in the mudbox this Saturday afternoon.
• "I just really like my boobs okay" - Daniel Day-Lewis auditioning for Hairspray but really where is the candy???
• Beyond frustrated that professors don't give As. Especially when you've worked for it. ...grade deflation. so annoying.
• eaglesecure. 'nuff said.
• i don't want to come back from abroad if Eagle's Nest doesn't have candy! WTF
• i'm so glad someone finally ranted about the unicycle guy! he makes my day regularly!!
• Stepping into an elevator with a bunch of guys you had embarrassing drunken moments with... at least I didn't realize I had these moments with each of them until after I stepped out of the elevator. Blame it on the vodka.
• To the 21 year old who wants candy: You seem like the kind of person that sits alone at marketplace begging people for mealswipes.
• C'mon guys of Leonard 7. Can we not shave our balls on Tuesdays? Thanks!
• To the person who just wants the LSAT to be over: ME TOO!! Seriously, we should have formed a support group. My stress levels are skyrocketing.
• Whatever happened to the drop-down menus on The Eagle's website? Maybe it's just my browser (Google Chrome) but I really miss those.
• "this is the second weekend in a row the frat brothers at the frat i want to pledge have gotten me really drunk. sadly, i made a fool out of myself both times. looks like i’ll be GDI-ing it up next semester :/" To this kid, you're still a Freshman. Don't hit on their GFs and you'll have a decent shot
• On one hand, I should stop hooking up with her. On another, her ass is amazing
• YOUR MOM GOES TO KYOLLEGE!
• Damn! An AU shuttle got into an accident? That's scary as hell. I hope that kid who got their hands cut up is all right... and the kid who was talking in a "groggy" voice while holding vegetables to their head who may or may not have been hit by the shuttle too. O__O
• Sometimes when I'm in the AU shuttles and the driver is driving like a nut I think, "Well, I've never been in an accident in one of these...there's nothing to worry about." I stand corrected, I think.
• boom boom pow! gimme gimme gimme!
• I wonder what the library sheep is going to be for Halloween?
• To the lady tabling for the CAUS, I lied yesterday: I think your hair is pretty AND tuition is too costly. I'll try to stop tuition hikes with you!
• Just rush a sorority, you don't have to pay dues (from what I remember) until you have been initiated, so it gives you time to see if you like it. You could get a job, to help you pay for it.
• yes! Unicycle guy is awesome. Tell us who you are! Teach us how to ride a unicycle.
• I shouldn't be going to a school where I'm afraid to say I'm Republican. Thank you College Republicans for giving all of us a bad name, and thank you everyone else for priding yourself for your "open mind", you're really welcoming to opposing views.
• Dear white girls with dreadlocks: WHY?
• I don't understand how this works but it seems that the more tattoos I see my professors have the cooler I think they are.
• @boyfriend: when did you find out that this person was taken? Just wondering if you might be who I think you are
• If we're trying to be a green campus, why is the shower pressure so damn high?
• WHY IS TDR TAKING AWAY TACO TUESDAY?!?! I need my fix, its been three weeks.
• to the person in the mudbox who reeks of stale weed. go take a freaking shower or i'm going to vomit on you.
• Can someone please get on getting Philip Defranco to speak on campus? Because that would be kinda awesome.
• "Hey E! Feel better girl! Being sick all the time is not an option." This made my day! Thanks, I'm trying :-)
• I get annoyed when girls want to know where all the boyfriends are at. I'm a decent looking straight guy who doesn't party. Get over it, we're out there. -Wild A 6 north
• Why is nearly every rant about hooking up and broken hearts? Seriously, get a life.
• Maybe if you didn't have his tongue shoved down your throat you would have a chance at a REAL relationship.
• @ I’ve been sexiling my roommate one or two nights a week: Ummm find somewhere else to have sex? get creative dude you dont need a bed
• "It's just that I coulda swore you had sung me a love song back there and that you meant it but I guess sometimes people just chew with their mouth open."
• Job opening: Nasal passages and sinus cavity. Must be open to new air movements, free of excess mucus, and work well with pollen, dust, and mold. Nasal passages currently suffering from hay fever need not apply. Please contact The Skull for an application.
• Joke's on you, 'cause I only went to that job fair for the lolz.
• HOT TA HOT TA HELP WHAT DO I DO
• Look, I don't know what kind of hot sh*t you think you are, but I am not gay, I never have been gay, and I never will be. You can be with whoever you want, but not this guy.
• There is a distinct difference between talking to someone and hitting on someone. You clearly need to have a little practice in this, bub.
• I'm exhausted, because seeing you everywhere all the time is exhausting. I'm done. You made my life hell last semester so why couldn't you just f*cking graduate like you were supposed to.
• Working in MGC with headphones in but no music playing-you hear a LOT of interesting shit.
• HUMIDITY IN DIS BASEMENT IS OFF DA CHARTZ #terracelyfe
• I HEAR THERE'S SOME KIND OF TALK SHOW THING BETWEEN OBAMA AND ROMNEY ON TV TONIGHT. WHAT'S THAT ALL ABOUT?
• @in what world is anderson 6s friendly, YOU TAKE THAT BACK. YOU SHUT YOUR DIRTY LETTS MOUTH. oh wait I mean.. please?
• For all the jokes made about it, the word "wonk" is just about the least sexy word I can think of.
• "I want you sleepy-eyed in the morning, waking at my side like a warm summer sky, born from so much softness." -Andrea Gibson (QuotationalQuip)
• If your boyfriend is going to break up with your for rushing...your relationship has some control issues anyway.
• Best part of the presidential debates- the fake bingo cards/drinking games it inspires.
• I am loving the Devo love in Rants lately.
• Stop complaining that all the straight guys at AU are taken. We're not. We just don't meet your standards.
• "not cut taxes for the rich.. that's not what I'm gonna do" alright Romney. Whoever is voting for this guy is an idiot.
• VOTE FOR MITTENS EVERYONE!
• you suck editor!
• How many Eagle rants are going to be about the debate tonight? My prediction: too many. People, please CALM YOUR POLITICAL TITS and limit your number of Facebook statuses to less than 5 per hour.
• mitt romney looks like he's about to cry when obama is talking
• trying to do my homework, but the debate is on #AUproblems
• On Wednesdays, we wear pink.
• can we all agree that the debate sucked disturbing amounts of dry and dirty dong?
• ERMAHGERD HERTHCURR
• where are rants? Aren't you supposed to have them up by 9?
• somebody touch me i miss physical affection
• Ten Eaglebucks says that the rants aren't up yet because the editor was watching the debate
• Poor Jim. He just let Mitt and Barack walk all over him. :(
• you're a Danish, I'm a Kanish, let's Mish!
• ok, debate is no excuse. where are the eagle rants from october 3?
• My life for Aiur!
• Eagles Nest - please get a freezer that actually freezes ice cream. My Ben & Jerry's is lukewarm soup. k thanks
• election years make me wonder why i chose to go to the most politically active school on earth.
• I have the sweetest boyfriend
• WHERE THE HELL ARE EAGLE RANTS I WANT TO CRY RIGHT NOW
• sometimes i really wonder what i'm doing here, surrounded by a bunch of rich white kids, paying out my a$$, committing to decades of debt, for an education i feel like i can't even enjoy because i'm working so hard to pay the bills.
• To the hott CAUS senior guy. Super cute ;) Please notice me! - Secret Admirer
