• "Father, I can not lie. I prefer big butts and I also like large bosoms." -George Washington, a leader ahead of his time
• @”If you want your boyfriend to propose, for the love of God, talk to him about it! Don’t expect him to magically know that you want him to propose!”: I’m the OP. And I DO talk about it, every single day. He just changes the subject. As for what you said about financial stability, my bf has a lot of student debt and unstable career prospects, but I don’t care because I have a large trust fund. Does he have to have his OWN money before he proposes? Money is money. Who cares where it came from.
• No one take the nascar rant troll bait. IT'S A TRAP!
• @”No, you sexist. Your goal in life is to be PRESIDENT.” Lol Thanks for telling me my goals when you don’t know me. I would love to see a woman president, but I would not want to be said woman president. That would be way too stressful, and I don’t like public speaking. I would rather just show up to formal dinners looking pretty. And manage the White House Garden.
• There's some other girls here who love NASCAR? Where are you? Can we be friends?
• @ Person breaking down NASCAR girl's comment...You spelt your* wrong as well as naScar. Good going
• "Girls are people, not objects." psssshhhh.
• Haiku, you are un cool, I be countin sylla bles, like a big fool
• @D&D nerd: we already have one. Gamers club, saturdays at 8 on the second floor of MGC.
• @ in need of a hug. Come to Kay at 7pm on Sunday or 11pm on Thursdays. Recive free hugs, free food and a chance to meet some truely excellent and kind people.
• To all the hipster SIS kids: Don't be goin' abroad sayin' "oh you have AIDS, we had AIDS BEFORE it was cool." Please, no.
• POOP SAWK no seriously, youtube poop sock. it will not disappoint.
• why is it so hard to find a consistent hook-up buddy? not looking for a relationship here, just tired of one night stands
• @rotc guy OMG YES PLEASE you make the single ladies hollaaaaaa
• @"dear men who want a safe space" You are right in saying that other men bash us for being "weak." You are also right about the gendered slurs thing. The thing is that in creating a safe space and putting out information, we would be effectively trying to combat both of those things.
• Mommmm... Bathroooom!
• @HalloweenDestiel It's tempting but I have to decline.
• How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb: Four. One to change the bulb, one to complain that the bulb is violating the socket, one to secretly wish she were the socket, and one to secretly wish she were the bulb.
• I think I'm gonna ask him to grab food at TDR or something and just chat. Of course not be like "I think you're always alone," because, like I said, for all I know he could have a great roommate or friends and I just happen to see him when he's by himself. And I know that just because I'm noticing it and maybe we hang out a few times, he probably won't mesh with my group of friends either...just from observation he seems really quiet and shy. But oh well. Wish me luck. -Guy helping another guy out.
• What frat was Kerwin in?
• I've come out to maybe 7 or 8 people in total...mostly friends from home, and two here at AU. But I want to take that "final" step of coming out completely/ to everyone...I'm so tired of wallowing in self-pity and complaining that I can't meet/date/hookup with people because logistically it's hard to with a roommate, yet I refuse to actually take that step...and I keep telling myself that I'lll tell my family in person the next time I'm home for whatever break, and surprise surprise: it never happens :/ -Closeted gay guy
• As I went up by Glasgow city, just to see what I could spy who should I meet but Nancy Whisky, a playful twinkle in her eye whisky, whisky, Nancy Whisky, whisky, whisky Nancy-o
• @"I can't wait to see you in person so I can tell you I love you." I think this is about me, I've been thinking the same thing. And if not, I think it will happen anyways.
• @"How do you go up to a guy that is literally gorgeous" As a guy who is literally gorgeous (allegedly), I would suggest just walking up to him, shaking his hand, and introducing yourself. Then get his number and text him. Often.
• why are all the lesbian girls on campus dressing like Doctor Who?
• +1 for communication in relationships.
• Whats a gal gotta do to get laid here
• Would it kill Lori to not be such a b*tch? She's all over Rick every chance she gets because of how dangerous life is (sorry, it's not HIS fault it's the apocalypse; pretty sure he's doing the best he can), then she flips out at Carl for going to get medical supplies (he was just trying to help/be competent, which is more than she's done, and also it's also not HIS fault the world is so dangerous either), and then she wraps her lips around Hershel like a complete hypocrite and almost gets killed. HATE HER.
• Heh. It's like I need a jacket for inside, and when I go outside I can take it off. So silly...
• @"If you want to know where all the 'hipster hate' comes from, try having a show on WVAU that isnt bearded indie rock." You've obviously never listened to WVAU.
• I thought I was actually enjoying my life again for the first time in awhile. LOL NEVERMIND.
• to the girl in lecture who put her barefoot feet on my rest arm...really?
• The only time I don't feel completely lonely is when I have five shots in me. I just want a girl to be close to again.
• Drinking Starbucks while sitting in the Dav, if you're judging me, then whatever.
• Perks of Being a Wallflower was literally one of the best movies I have ever seen. I had only read the book once, back in freshman year of high school, and I was afraid the movie would be too angsty. But it was beyond great, all of the feels. Go see it if you haven't!
• I saw a guy I thought was cute, and then I saw he was wearing a Fox News shirt, and then I was like.....WHAT are you doing with your life. All appeal gone.
• @Thursday-Night-Partier: I guess this is what happens when we try to make Thirsty Thursday a thing at AU...
• I really like him. f*ck. this wasn't supposed to happen.
• AU students who fight over grammar, fantasy characters, and anonymous posts on an online edition of a college newspaper: THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T GET LAID.
• If I were a senior in high school now there is no way in hell I would ever come to this school.
• @person hating on Nascar girl's grammar. YOU SPELLED NASCAR WRONG TWICE YOU UGLY DUNCE.
• Remember when Eagle Rants used to be funny? Pepperidge Farm remembers.
• I'm like 90% sure that I am silently leaking farts in class.
• Getting kinda tired of the "there are no guys at AU!!" excuse...
• I’m a nerd who seeks to engage in sexual intercourse with a very voluptuous female specimen. Anyone willing to accept my seed?: Well when you put it like that...absolutely not.
• Ya I can tell you’re a nascar fan from you’re atrocious grammar: hahaha it's cute because you think you know basic grammar.
• I spent the night on r/Cringe. My face has receded into a black hole of Ewwwwwwwww.
• First two midterms tomorrow. LOLOL if you see me at the library tonight cackling to myself i probably need a hug
• ughhh why are you so gorgeous with every girl in love with you?
• Who said that every wish would be heard and answered when wished on the morning star? Somebody thought of that and someone believed it. Look what it's done so far. What's so amazing that keeps us star gazing and what do we think we might see? Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection. The lovers, the dreamers and me.
• that's annoying.
• .....to the river so deep
• I'm so tired of saying you suck editor. But seriously you suck. This paper has gone downhill and, oh yea, you suck.
• Screw you all, Ed majors have priority use of the CMC, I'm sick, you're obnoxious, just let me do my mother-wonking lesson plans without having to hear your petty complaints
• I think I hate everything
• It's only Monday. Oh my Kerwin.
• @"I got high fived in the face" haaaa that's the greatest thing i've ever heard. good luck with that buddy
• I love politics. I love foreign Policy. But this debate just makes me want to scream.
• Please have true debates based on facts, don't make points based on crap analysis / just to make yourself different than your opponent. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! - I am now annoyed with politics.
• Eagle rants are not "vampire rants" fit for posting at 3 am. POST THE F-ING RANTS BY 10 PM! Not that hard. If it's too difficult for the editor, hire an assistant rants editor to help out. Plenty of people are willing to help.
• I know you read these every night, so I'm sure you'll see this. You are ridiculously hypocritical in so many ways, but anytime anyone tries to point it out to you, you refuse to listen. Please, grow up.
• Obama fiddles, Romney burns.
• POOP OBAMA POOP ROMNEY POOP IN MY PANTZ!
• I feel like I would have an easier time accepting libertarians if it weren't for the fact that most of the candidates only turn to the libertarian party when they lose a Republican Nomination. If you're really so frustrated with the two party system why do you identify as Republican until you can't get nominated as one.
• The worst part of the proposed smoking ban: not seeing those two middle aged men having their cute cigar date every day.