• that silent fart is screaming surprisingly loud on the quiet floor..
• Does anyone with a Verizon phone ever not receive texts, or get them after a long delay after the other person sent it? I think I might be, but I don't want to ask about it because it seems awkward.
• Fire alarms in the cold and the rain right after I finally get cozy in my bed for a nap? Not cool, AU, not cool.
• @ "I’m not a slut I just like having sex and don’t want a relationship. Is there anything wrong with that?" Q: What's the definition of disgusting? A: Shoving 13 oysters up your cooch and sucking out 14.
• @ "I hate this school" - condescending much? Leave. We don't like you either. Maybe you feel so uncomfortable because now you realize it was us that didn't bother making an effort with someone as shallow as you.
• i loveeeeee kitties
• everyone go see guys and dolls this weekend!!!!!!!!!!!
• AAAUUGGGHH DOWNTON ABBEY YOU ARE TEARING ME APART
• It's really awkward to approach you because we're in the same religious community... but I think you're really attractive, intelligent, and you have a lovely voice. I just wanted to say that in a rant because I don't think I'll be able to say it in person. Just please keep being awesome :) and maybe notice me... if you get a chance. Yeah ^^
• I completely judge people who get on the shuttle or bus for one stop; especially if it's a) a beautiful day b) a matter of a couple blocks straight down the street in a perfectly nice area c) the bus is absurdly packed already. Person who has to ride for fifteen stops
• I know that I told you it was too fast after we made out... But I really wanna make out with you again. I burned that bridge... but now I'm regretting it. DAMN YOU, HORMONES!!!
• @WTF is a “wawa”? Too complicated to explain via Eagle Rants. What you should do is flag down one of the many, MANY AU people from around Philly and ask them. But give yourself some time. They'll probably be waxing rhapsodically for a while.
• @"i hate that i would be better for you" ...sorry chica, but if he likes her instead of you, then no, you wouldn't be better for him. get over it and move on.
• Where are the fraternity parties?
• Translatino
• I miss wawa too. Let's stick a wawa in the McDonald's, eh? I'd die of hoagie overload.
• Why does the bridge between McDowell and Leonard smell like stale, musty butt?
• I don't need a man, I don't need a man~ #MissA
• @Dr Horrible's Sing Along ranter. YES YES YES YES I'm in!
• @Buffy buff: I'm on Season 6 now. I'm pretty sure my roommates are getting sick of my moping over Willow and Tara's relationship and weeping late at night.
• 600 hours is a long time.
• "Why you referring to your “roommate” (singular noun) as “they” (plural noun). Please go back to 3rd grade and learn basic grammar." lol. learn2singular they. gender neutral pronouns 4 lyfe.
• Wawa is a convenience store in the Jersey area. I've been to one. They're no Cumberland Farms, that's for sure.
• @Dr. Horrible I AM SOOOO DOWN. When/Where/How are we gonna make this happen? Sincerely, Bad Horse
• I almost cried (AGAIN) when i read the downton abbey rants. Can we just have a group crying session together where we curse of the director and the writer and the whole production team because WHY would they do this!?!!!?
• Oooooohhh. I completely get it now bro
• i learned a new phrase today "such is life". I looked it up and everything, so thanks eaglerants!
• Liberals are queefs. Loud, wet queefs.
• College Democrats: where common sense goes to die.
• Obama: The best argument against affirmative action I've ever seen.
• The number of spelling/grammatical errors in Eagle Rants never ceases to amaze me. Please stop procrastinating and start doing your homework so that you too can be smarter than a fifth grader.
• I feel depressed and detached after orgasms to the point of tears. By bf thinks these are tears of joy and I don't have the heart to tell him otherwise. What's wrong with me? all I ever wanted was to be friends, but you always get your way.
• @if he calls every night then he is into u: thanks for te response. I know he is into me, as we have been together for 4 years. Buy I need more. It's time to get engaged. I'm tired of being just a "girlfriend" after 4 freakin years! What can I do to get him to propose?
• @"'they' is a plural noun": While I assume it wasn't the intent of the original ranter, I must point out that "they" is also a gender neutral singular pronoun. It happens to be my preferred gender pronoun. Please check your privilege before insulting people for using grammar in a technically correct manner.
• @humans for AU blog: that's actually a really good idea, with how many people are obsessed with eagle rants I'm sure it would be popular easily. I, however, don't like my picture taken, but what are the odds of you getting a picture of me out of the whole student body. I say go for it!
• I miss sex.
• @Dr. Horrible: You're clearly a freshman. That's been done. Players did it last year.
• @"Dirty" sugar free chai...It is a sugar free chai with a shot of espresso in it. The general rule is that any drink that is "dirty" gets a shot of espresso added to it (because espresso is a dark color and it changes the overall color of the drink. #coffeeuniversity
• Dear Davenstaff I just wanted to shout you out because you are all so wonderful and freakin awesome. you made my well enjoyed time working at the dav SO worth it during my time at AU. I don't think any of you are appreciated enough for the extra work you do. Just want you to know that I appreciate it. Also major shout out to B cause she does an phenomenal job running...well....life. -Anonymous employee
• omg PLEASE do a Humans of AU blog
• I can't believe I almost slept with a biddie...
• Homeland.
• I just lost the game.
• I have no idea who you are, but you have blueish eyes and brown hair. You had a dark blue shirt under a light blue dress shirt with a tie, and you were wearing khakis. I was the girl sitting across from you smiling the entire time on the shuttle Saturday night. I wish you smiled back...
• You know your class is too boring and slow if you can get up, go masturbate, and find that you still haven't moved onto the next slide. COME ON.
• To that blonde haired girl with the oakland tree sweater. You're gorgeous, and hella fly.
• Haaallllowwwweeeeeeeeen
• Does anyone else miss the walkway to southside along the beach as much as I do?
• I would kill for a Wagamama's on campus...
• @mommy shark doo doo doo doo doo doo daddy shark doo doo doo doo doo doo
• @HONY wannabe-- he asks his subjects before he takes their picture. So yeah, if you asked that'd be awesome. But if not you're just a little creepy.
• Lol no professor I'm not asking if the PowerPoints will be on Blackboard because I'm a good student, I'm asking so I can figure out if I can just play solitaire all class.
• @ Dav application Yes. And... yes.
• @Willow and Tara fans I tend to stop watching Buffy after season 5. Skip the misery of 6 all together. And who needs to go on to all of that Kennedy nonsense anyways?
• Are Butterfingers the best candy of all time? Because I'm pretty sure they are.
• @>2012 AD Why are you greentexting and spouting memes on a website that isn't 4chan? I bet you start your sentences with "implying" too.
• Is it wrong that I only go to office hours in the hopes that my Professor will be so intellectually stimulated by our conversations that he'll realize we're soulmates and leave his wife for me? Probably...
• Freshmen are awesome! Starting college is hard enough as it is; don't make it worse with your rudeness!
• A homeless man asked me to buy him lunch today, and I said no. He got mad, and randomly followed up by asking if I was a police officer. I'm in shape and I have short hair, so I can see how he would make the mistake. I told him no again and walked away, but the whole thing has me kind of bothered. He was asking me if I was the kind of person who would help him, and I said no, twice. Just tugs at the heartstrings, that's all.
• Sometimes I want to f*ck you, but most of the time I think you are super awkward.
• This guy sitting next to me at the Dav looks like he is waiting for someone cuz he keeps glancing around or maybe he is waiting for his true love to walk in the door why can't she can someone just walk in and love him this kid is breaking my heart why can't we all have love whyyyy
• Oh my god so that kid that was sitting next to me in the Dav he just left looking sad WHY CAN'T THERE BE MORE LOVE IN THE WORLD
• @Person Who Doesn't Know What LAL It was basically what eaglerants is. A gathering of lonely single people, like myself.
• There's a really attractive guy on the shuttle wearing a suit is it bad that I just want to go up to him and be like can I have sex with you
• Dear Dowton Abbey ranters, you're making me nervous and I haven't seen any of the season yet. Is that bad?
• I just went on a date with a really cute girl who all my friends say is into me, but for the life of me I can't see her liking me...
• I hate this election. It doesn't matter what happens, were all screwed in 2013 anyway, once the market crashes (again). So Democrats keep thinking Obama is amazing, while the Republicans think Romney is....idk
• I am about to mess up everything I've worked for and it is so liberating. Thank you for giving me the courage to let go for once in my life and start again!
• @" I hope that guy smokes outside your window all day every day." When I was a freshman I lived on the second floor and people DID smoke outside of my window all day every day. It was very annoying and my room smelled like cigarette smoke all the time.
• Took my coffee this morning in the Hurst men's bathroom, the ones in the dungeon, it was pleasant.
• downton abbey you ripped my heart out. i can no longer be held responsible for my midterm grades.
• Dear friend in need of Paxil. You have a lot of work to do, but some of us are juggling 5 classes, internships/jobs, relationships, etc. You, my dear friend, are only taking classes. I don't know what you do with your time, but you should not be this stressed. I love you, but I hate you.
• Dear Editor, Do you hate your life? These kids post mostly meaningless stuff, and then you have to count the words, screen them for curses, and you get berated for being busy. Haters goin' hate. I wouldn't blame you if you took a break from Rants.
• you suck editor!
• @ other classic crime fan, of course that counts! - sorry I forgot to respond. -_- We should meet up and discuss this concert!
• Hey, you. Today, F*CK you.
• You are beautiful!
• You've got a friend in me :)
• SO HAPPY MY PROFESSOR LET US OUT EARLY TO WATCH THE DEBATE
• Mittens says that if parents are married their kids won't shoot people? What?
• This is probably the first time a politician has addressed a woman named Candy who wasn't in the backseat of his limo in fishnets.
• Aaron Carter comes in and sings "I Want Candy" and Romney fires t-shirts into the crowd, yes?
• How long do you think Romney practiced blinking in the mirror today, like ten, eleven hours?
