• That awkward moment when you realize you're twenty-two years old and you've never been kissed/been on a date/had a relationship. And no, that's not intentional, like some "Pamela's Promise" thing. FML.
• @Sometimes I wonder if my inability to leave the past behind will keep me single for the rest of my life… I'm living proof that that's not true.
• @Question for the ladies-Nope, not weird unless you're creep-tastic! Besides, this is AU. If you're passable looking or better, we'll be thrilled!
• @Coffee date ranter: It (as always) depends on the situation. If you guys had a really great conversation, and you really want to get to know the person better, it's not very weird. It also is gonna depends on how into you the girl is, of course. Hopefully it all works out! :)
• @LDRs being difficult: To make dealing with an LDR easier, you could always just end it. LOL.
• France, Thank you for assuring a win in tonight's Eagle Rants game. Of course, assuring victory for others is something your country is pretty good at. Enjoy your time with the Eastern Alliance, I hear Turkey is quite willing to accept new allies ;) Much love, Italy PS. Hands off the Piedmont area!
• @oh my god i just want to get laid Sorry, I only accept $20s.
• Just a note: Guys in suspenders are hot.
• Saturday at 3 in the Dav? ~Open Mic Night
• @"@"@slutshamer" Sex without love or attachment is bound to cause disappointment, misery, and depression of some repeatedly.... said no non-virgin ever.
• I fantasize about eating vegan brownies off the abs of the Eagle Rants editor.
• Chinese frat boys...OM NOM NOM
• When I work out, I picture all the hot guys in the fitness center naked and sweaty. Only half of it is imagination. ;)
• @ "Stop asking me for sex. You know who you are. You ask me every goddamn day." Can we have sex?"
• God i hate the library computers and printers this year.
• The fat bus driver late at night is insane. I swear I'm going to die in a bus accident. God help me
• I'm sitting with a table of frat boys, and half of them are speaking Chinese, the other half is talking about hibachi.-DELT
• @whoever now lives in hughes 602, there's a story hidden in one of the ceiling tiles just fyi WHAT / WHERE IS IT?! I AM TERRIFIED!
• @I don't understand why Dr. Pine takes the day off to go on Katie Couric, but doesn't take the day off for her sick baby. I LOVE YOU! That is a FANTASTIC point!!
• I fell in love with you just a little bit more yesterday........
• @I have a question for all the ladies out there. Would you be weirded out if someone asked you out for coffee or something like that even if it's at the end of your first ever conversation with that person? NO! If I liked you, I would be excited to do something else with you! Go for it!!
• @ "Liberals R Tools is officially my favorite troll in The Eagle's comments sections." Thanks, I try. Such easy pickings at AU. lol
• when I eat food at TDR/Salsa/Greens it makes me feel so sick, gastro wise. am I alone in this?!
• blarg
• @McBride. eXCUssee mee! Its SARAH.
• R U Mine? every time we make eye contact or i see you around campus my heart feels like it skips a beat. would it really kill you to just say hi, or nod, or just acknowledge my existence?
• @I'm sitting with a table of frat boys, and half of them are speaking Chinese, the other half is talking about hibachi. #auproblems
• @would you be weirded out if somebody asked you to coffee during your first conversation...not at all! I'd be really pleased.
• This heart of mine was meant to travel the world. So why am I still here?
• @Would you be weirded out if someone asked you out for coffee. i would be flattered :)
• THE SLOTH SHALL RULE ALL
• 21 years and never been kissed...
• Why does being an @$$hole work with girls? I've been trying it out this year and hate that it works. I'm a nice guy I don't think I can keep it up much longer. It makes me feel like a terrible person.
• AGH to adrienne pine being on katie couric. fucking hypocrite.
• Sorry editor, name's still not on the article. It's chill though, I don't mind anymore. Temporary annoyance.
• But really. It's only 12:30AM. There is no valid reason why the vacumm cleaner guy is on the silent floor right now.
• After the year I've had, I'm just ready to give up on girls. I mean seriously, George Costanza has better luck with the ladies than I do.
• Why did I think anything would ever happen between us? How could I be so stupid?
• It's way too easy to tell the difference between the underclassmen quick take columnists and the upperclassmen quick take columnists (the difference being that the seniors actually know how to write clear and concise arguments and the freshmen just talk out of their ass). Wait till they take college writing before you let them publish garbage (with their name attached to it).
• So I really want to get over my fear of bees. Anyone out there have any information on the beekeeping club?
• Why is every song about you?
• @LDR advice from a my year LDR 1) find a support network online 2) text little things to each other throughout the day 3) watch Army Wives on netflix and be happy at least ur lover isn't in danger 4) know that the distance will not last forever and be thankful for what you have"
• There oughta be a Procrastinators Anonymous group on campus. Too bad meetings would never be scheduled, cause they'd always get pushed back later and later.
• If reading Eagle Rants were homework, I would get straight A's.
• The invite rant was not open mic guy lol *open mic guy's
• Here come the senator campaigns...
• @"Would you recommend casual sex to your own children?" what I'm not going to recommend is a push towards monogamy when STUDIES SHOW we've never been meant to be a monogamous species (re: the novel "Sex at Dawn"). I'm in a monogamous relationship and pretty happy, but not everyone will be. stop trying to push your patriarchy on me, yo. and f*** the idea of a sexual reputation, that is also some patriarchal sh**. really wish I did not have to censor curse words because this rant has lost some of its angry edge.
• Looking for Magic The Gathering players to come to AU Gamers, Saturday Night in MGC second level
• so what's up with the music section? I can't seem to find any reviews. Thinking twice about being part of The Scene
• i miss GMS squared
• @"I miss Tim McBride." I do too, but it's Sarah.
• As You WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISH!
• " I don't understand why Dr. Pine takes the day off to go on Katie Couric, but doesn't take the day off for her sick baby." LOL made my day. too good
• @why are long distance relationships so difficult? anyone know of anything that makes dealing with this easier?: Skype, writing letters, talking on the phone and sending your significant care packages can help ease the pain until you see him or her again
• I've met Chris Christie. He's fatter in real life.
• Dear field hockey girls on the third floor of the library, please just shut up. Or as least whisper, I know this isn't the silent floor, but at least keep it down a little bit, some of us are actually trying to study...
• @"I miss Tim McBride" I do hope you realize that Sarah is the same person inside, right? Just because she finally admitted to everyone who she really is doesn't mean that she's a different person. I think you just [insensitively] miss the "idea" of Sarah being Tim.
• @"Is nobody a Munchkins fan?" - If you're really randomly referring to the Dunkin' Donuts variety, then I'm all over that shiz. But only the chocolate ones, honestly. [Editor’s Note: I appreciate your honesty.]
• "It’s too early in the semester for me to be hating everything this much. Can we just have an angst day on the quad where we beat up old cars or something?" PLEASE OH PLEASE make this happen, someone. I just want to punch freshman in the face. Why can't they walk on one side of the walkways? And why do they walk so slow?
• I would love nothing more than to unzip your banana republic pants and ravage that college republican body. Mm-MMM YOU ARE A FINE HUNK OF MAN.
• The recent feud of Apple fanboys vs Apple haters makes me wish the company didn't exist at all.
• @guy offering to make an LAL knockoff: do it.
• @"Nope, CAUS is the place to be." Lawlz. That's all I have to say.
• Come sungaze with me?
• I ate too many skittles. Then my poop was rainbow colored.
• The power began gently, silently, far away.
• I am very in love and very scared for what's next. If anyone wants to bring me a bottle of wine I would appreciate it
• It's NOT about breast feeding! It's about doing the job you are being paid to do (and we pay ALOT of $ for! And it's about bring your sick kid to class so that everyone there is exposed to whatever made your kid sick. And now it's about skipping out of your class to go be on afternoon TV. YOU JUST DON'T GET IT!!!!!!
• "I'm almost done with you." CORRECTION: DONE. have a great time driving every one who ever gave a sh*t about you away...
• Please don't go over this
• LALALALLALALALALA DONATE MONEY TO PHONATHON PLZZZZZZZ
• "ou put the boom-boom into my heart You send my soul sky high when your lovin' starts Jitterbug into my brain Goes a bang-bang-bang 'til my feet do the same"
• It's my last semester and I was SO excited about finally getting the courage to talk to the dreamy metalhead from one of my history classes a while back. Now or never, right? BUT I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM ANYWHERE! It's fall, I wanna listen to Opeth with you and discuss nerdy history things! Where are you!?
• Hey, McDowell 7! I can see your lounge... on my computer.
• I'm just gonna keep procrastinating until rants are up. This is not conducive to my learning environment, editor. [Editor’s Note: Now I feel extra bad about forgetting to post these until so late tonight D:]
• I want to start a club where people just complain about everything. No arguing, just straight up b**ch fest. No stupid debating. Just complain about how much you hate everything, rant about whatevers on your mind, how much your life sucks, how bad TDR is, whatever suits your fancy pants. -the "I hate everyone"" club. Refreshments provided.
• i farted in your face while you were sleeping. [Editor’s Note: rude.]
• @question for the ladies: No. I might be a little flustered (because I always get flustered by stuff like that) but I wouldn't find it weird. Just flattering. That's just one girl's opinion, though.
• "@ sig chi preppy guys are hot"... said no one ever. ^except sig chi preppy guys....
• CAUS = unoriginal and ill informed. Rich kids band together to take on this exact same 'issue' every couple of years. Play 'activist' about something that matters. Like a lemonade stand!
• You two are worth it. Praying that you both will realize that.....
• lolz i lurvvv ranting, im so glad i get to wait til midnight to see them all!
• It's 12:01 and rants still aren't up. I would have had them up hours ago!
• Does AU block websites? Because I was looking at funny pictures of things that look like genatalia on Etsy and Eaglesecure stopped working, and when it started up again I could go on any website but that one. When I tried to go back to it, it defaulted to AU's website. WTF??
• gurl i just wanna put some mayo up in there and make some pasta salad up in you with mah noodle. yeah, you like it like that.
• Do you not realize that you are quite possibly the most obnoxious person I've ever met? You're not unique or original, you're pretentious and I don't care if other people feel sorry for you, I'm not dealing with your whining anymore.
• I've decided that that you have a great butt in addition to your great smile.
• where can I meet other sexual assault survivors at AU? I feel so alone
• And after 5 years I finally realized... I can do better than you. And finally allowing myself to recognize that is the most free I've felt in years.
• Had a nightmare last night. It wasn't pleasant. Thank god it wasn't real either, but it could be. I'm still stressed out by it.
