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Sunday, Dec. 14, 2025
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Eagle Rants: September 22, 2012

• Why is my step-dad such a complete douchebag and abusive dick. But I can't stop coming home because I have to see my little brother (who is too young to come visit me alone). What do I do?

• Editor: You said you set a daily alarm to remind you to post rants. Might I ask to what time you set your alarm? Thanks. ;) [Editor’s Note: 9:30 pm to catch myself when I forget to post earlier.]

• "Sometimes I feel like my only friend is the city I live in."

• I just found out that my trust fund is in lump sums rather than equal amounts for all the grandkids. This means that because I have 4 siblings, my half gets split between 5 people. And my cousins have only two kids in their family. So they gt much bigger chunks. Did my grandparents just want the family fighting after they died? Why would they set it up that way?

• I know it's not that weird to walk around alone and explore historical district of the city. So why do I always feel weird doing it?

• I'm so nervous for tomorrow.

• No, but really, I would join a mock West Wing club at AU. Dibs on Leo McGarry. We can have someone create scenarios for us and roleplay through them. It'll be like political D&D.

• @“at what rate of guys/per week that I sleep with would you consider me a slut? Right now I'm averaging 2-3” I think the number itself is much less relevant than the fact that you are counting guys by the week (most people count sexual partners by the lifetime). The fact that you see sex as a numbers game rather than as a way to express love to a partner you love is what makes you a slut. Enjoy your STDs and future infertility.

• Dang it editor, that rant about Nancy Pelosi chopping off people's d**ks was exactly 100 words, and it was pure gold. Well everyone, the gist of it was that if you wouldn't want Nancy Pelosi shortening your wang, don't vote for Republicans who want control of women's wombs. It's the same thing. And this is coming from an otherwise pretty conservative guy.

• Dear roommate, I'm sending lots of gay vibes off. I'm too scared to come out to you, but seriously... I couldn't be more gay looking/acting. So I am not interested in the guy you keep trying to set me up with. Besides floorcest.... gross.

• I just am really deprived of sex.

• May the Rangos rants begin.

• You are the biggest disappointment

• @ "It's almost time to pull the ugly sweaters back out, AU. Get excited." I got 99 problems, but stitching ain't one.

• HOORAY! eagle rants editor is getting his/her act together! [Editor’s Note: I wouldn’t go that far]

• Ahh, it sucks that my LDR boyfriend goes to sleep early. I don't know if he fell asleep, or if he's mad because I was not an intelligent human being tonight

• I feel like tomorrow is gonna suck. Can I just sleep through the whole day so I don't have to face anything?

• THE SPIRIT OF 69 LIVES.

• I'm single and I'm beginning to accept that I will always be single. I hate my life. But I have plenty of money. What can I buy to make me happy? And don't give me crap about how money doesn't buy happiness. Using money, how can I best achieve happiness?

• S.H.A.R.P.

• I regret not make more friends during freshman year. My current circle is too stifling, and I don't know how to get out.

• Why do I do this to myself all the time? Why can't I trust people more?

• @at what rate am I a slut - jeez, the only negative emotions I feel here are jealousy. That's pretty impressive. Carry on with your good work!

• motion to change the name of TDR to terrorist dining room?

• @I wanna be a troll when I grow up - me freaking too. marry me.

• world i am giving you the reverse cowgirl right now just sit back and enjoy the view of me gettin my freak on #success

• 2-3 guys a week? Damn girl, you're going to run out of guys soon, just saying.

• Open Mic Guy-Sorry I didn't reply yesterday! Life kinda happened... But I'm a freshman too. That's super impressive that you did the open mic even as a freshman, especially since you hadn't done it before.

• Tenleytown Rainbow Dash, Marry me? Regards, Doctor Hooves

• I see so many attractive guys in TDR and I always wonder how I could start a conversation without being sketchy.

• CAUS guy who came into our lounge a week ago to get a petition signed. You're pretty cute and the tattoo on your arm is really cool. I will definitely be going to those meetings (I mean, I agree with your point and everything, but the fact that I find you attractive is just an extra bonus).

• That awkward moment when I'm enjoying my oatmeal and find there's a bear in it.

• I need you to notice I'm not ok.

• OK, SO, I NEED A CUDDLE BUDDY! YES, I WANT ONE THAT BADLY! PLEASE BE PERTY!

• Did a guy really diss the show Friends and consider it not a good television show? Yeah you can move out of the country, no one here will miss you. Have fun in England xo


Section 202 hosts Connor Sturniolo and Gabrielle McNamee are joined by fellow Eagle staff member and phenomenal sports photographer, Josh Markowitz. Follow along as they discuss the United Football League and the benefits it provides for the world of professional football.


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