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Tuesday, Dec. 16, 2025
The Eagle

Eagle Rants: July 16, 2012

•@already watched all the porn on the internet: I feel ya. I've already watched practically all the shows on hulu and netflix. the concept of summer sucks. Why is campus so empty? There needs to be much more summer classes and much more summer activity on campus like theater shows and such.

•I can't do this anymore. I hate hate hate it here without you. I can't live another day without seeing you. Why must you put me through this torture. Just propose already!

•"The Eagle’s Nest should have a slurpee machine." THIS. THIS IS THE SOLUTION TO ALL MY TROUBLES AND WOES.

•Crafting the perfect passive aggressive rant is hard.

•@"The Eagle’s Nest should have a slurpee machine" I've been saying this for years. When will they give the people what they truly want?

•Some day, I plan on directing the users on 4chan to Eagle Rants. Your precious Eagle Rants will die in fire!

•Diabetes, here I come! Doo Dah, Doo Dah Diabetes, Won't you come? Oh Dah Doo Dah Day

•I think farting in public should be more socially acceptable just like sneezing. Whenever some one farts, put one foot on your chair and just shout "THAR SHE BLOWS!!!!" and everything should be hunky-dory.

•Dear Anderson summer front desk people, if I had a valid, working I.D, I would have swiped myself in. Sincerely, person annoyed by your ignorance.

•Don't stop trying hard to be a good friend. I promise you, the right people will pick up on it, and your loyalty will pay off in the end.

•Nothing makes the myau portal look more high-tech than using my grad school's student portal. I half expect to switch to dialup to match the low-tech slowness.

•I used to be thin. What happened? AU happened. My sister just finished her freshman year and she lost all the weight she gained last year already and it's not even August. Not fair.

•Ooookay. Totally ready to go back to AU now!

•It seems like all of my friends from last year transferred. I'm not sure I'll have any friends left. Who am I going to go to TDR with? I'm not going to be one of those kids eating alone on their laptops with headphones in, glaring at everybody who walks by.

•Whose idea was it to house interns from West Point with AU summer students? Because I love it.

•you're so vain, you probably think this rant is about you [Editor’s Note: Don’t you? Don’t you?]

•I love whoever said that Eagle's Nest should have a slurpee machine. I would love my life. 7/11 is too far to go for a slurpee.

•@Actually. So increased medical costs including premiums is due to unhealthy people using services. So adding all the uninsured will decrease costs by bringing in more revenue? Show me one government program that is more efficient the larger it gets. It isn't conservative propaganda, you obviously have a health insurance program provided by your parents. I have a sneaking suspicion you are either a SPA or SIS major, so why don't you stick to water shortages in S. Korea, and I will worry about fiscal matters.

•Why is it that liberals always go "check your facts" (watch any Bill Maher show) and when you show them proven unbiased studies they just shrug them off. It happens with conservatives also I will agree, but that is usually only in social stuff no resonable person actually believes.

•I want to go to GW, but AU gives so much money to a Poli Sci Major based on "merit (private school, Jewish, or a minority)." Life is too hard.

•te quiero, peladito. always.

•So uhh why are you avoiding me?

•As much as it's not the greatest job in the world... Interning at the Virgin Islands Legislature >>>>> interning on the Hill

•@girl wanting to hit on wifed up wrestler: wtf? chicks like you make us all look crazy

•? ???? ????? ??? rant-?!!!! ? ????????, ? ????? ????? ???????? ????? ?? ???????? [Editor’s Note: I don't speak Russian ... ;) ]

•I would gladly give up my basic human rights in return for a lifetime supply of coffee.

•Today one of my regular customers (someone I wait on every day) had a total mental breakdown, and was literally delusional. Over the course of the morning, she thought I was going to move back with her to Canada to become her live-in servant, she wanted to marry my dad so I would be her stepson, and she tried to pay me $1000 to kill her husband. And she wouldn't leave the premises. Eventually an ambulance and the police came to bring her away. What a morning... mental illness can be tough. I just feel bad for her poor husband.

•@ "gives bjs in the arboretum".....We all just did.

•Mystery arboretum man is still lurking around campus. Damn, I'd hoped he graduated.

•@Slurpee machine in Eagle's Nest: Can we please make this happen? I wasn't looking for a commitment. All I wanted was you to put in the effort to visit. That's it. Nothing else, at all.

•His body may only weigh one-fifty, but his heart weighs half a ton. I hope I can be half the man he is someday.

•Have any couple actually hooked up through Eagle Rant? If so, that's super cool/disgusting/adorable/epic.

•I had a friend in high school who used to say he didn't know how liberal he was until he came to DC. I didn't know how conservative I was until I came to DC. If I have to hear one more uneducated protester on either side I'm gonna move to the woods in Montana,build a cabin, grow a long beard, and drink out of a jug with five x's on it.

Rant here!



Section 202 hosts Connor Sturniolo and Gabrielle McNamee are joined by fellow Eagle staff member and phenomenal sports photographer, Josh Markowitz. Follow along as they discuss the United Football League and the benefits it provides for the world of professional football.


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