•¡¡¿¿¡¿¡¡¡¿POR QUÉ NO ME AMAS??!?!?!!!?!!
•@"Girl that new haircut is tragic, you literally look like a boy, and the track pants aren't helping." Yes, God forbid someone not conform to gender norms. It makes me sad that people still think this way. Just let others be who they want; the fact you don't like how she looks is irrelevant.
•@"To the person who helped me get past chapter 5 of pottermore. I appreciate you, and glad to say I am a Hufflepuff." I'm glad I could help you out, but now that you're a Hufflepuff, we can probably never talk again. Slytherin ftw.
•Good thing you are graduating...because you would be so wrong for me but I'm falling for you...
•I'm still seeing bright red Stars of David from the Matisyahu concert.
•I want more WVAU shows. Dan Deacon at Comet Ping Pong last Friday was awesome.
•@"I want to respect women but I know if I do, it'll lower my value as a man in the social hierarchy of life." The only reason those guys appear cooler now is because girls don't mind using guys who are assholes if they're looking for a hookup or something like that. Stay the way you are and the one's who are looking for something more serious will flock to you when they realize how amazing you are. We just don't like using the nice guys.
•Wow. I was the one who ranted about psychics not being real, and I read my rant and it started out as "Physics are not real". My first thought? Who is this idiot who says physics aren't real? Then I realized it was my rant. Horrible spelling error on my part...
•@Every additional day that I'm here makes me wish that much more that I'd sent in my transfer applications. So exhausted from the harassment and lack of friendships.” Maybe think about what you’re doing to cause people to not want to be friends with you. Good luck finding more accepting people than AU students. They don’t exist.
•@”You only get one life and one chance to live it, so cherish it.” How do you know we aren’t reincarnated into other people or life forms. #Hinduism.
•I'm scared of the direction I'm going. I''m scared my worst nightmare will come true. Stop me.
•@Allison Debois challenge: She can’t just dream on command. With your logic you could say that no dreams don’t exist because I can’t prove I am dreaming if put on the stop. And btw the Human Energy lab at University of Arizona confirmed her abilities.
•Wednesday May 3rd shall be the day that everyone reveals feelings their true feelings to their loved one.
•Don't worry about not having a bf/gf in college. You still have grad school.
•Alum here, I don't really understand what's going on in the new campus plan. It seems to have changed since last year. Can someone summarize what's going on? [Editor's note: The Campus Plan includes turning the Nebraska Parking Lot into East Campus with dorms and some retail space; building a dorm, North Hall, behind the behind the president's office; adding to Nebraska Hall; adding to MGC; and moving the law school to the Tenley Campus.]
•@Allison is just cold calling: How can you cold read someone you have never met or never knew existed? She’s not doing magic tricks. She’s just highly intuitive and in tune with the ‘other side’. She’s not the only one with that ability.
•"I made a rant about how my tongue hurts from eating this girl out and how blowjobs are always boring " who are you and where can I find you before May 8th?
•Every time I come to your room you have your shirt off. You tried to put your arm around me during the movie and I didn't accept. I am not afraid of you and just really really want to make out with you. i apologize for being afraid of touching.
•I had a dream last night that I made out with one of my closest friends
•To the person addressing "B": Not sure if you're who I think you are, ..but regardless, its never too late. Go talk to this person.
•You know what, this may be crass but it took balls for Sarah to come out. I applaud her.
•@"I sense a troll among us, trying to spur on debate..." YES. I am just at my biddie breaking point.
•Hey, stop complaining that you don't have a job after graduation... thats what happens when you don't apply to any...
•The food options on this campus are some of the most unhealthy and boring choices I have faced in many years. In an atmosphere of diversity I am discouraged with the efforts to bring real ethnic and diverse cuisine to this campus. How about forgetting the idea about the space in the tunnel and working on a way to provide some space for the great Food Trucks of DC. Check out Food Fiesta.
•@Let's have a day where everyone reveals their true feelings to everyone: A demon made that happen once in Buffy. Half of the town ended up on fire.
•Women in Prison films should be required viewing for all students.
•I love the sight of a woman in an orange prison jumpsuit with shackles.
•'I have a big penis and you have a string beanis' Any Jake and Amir fans up in hereeee
•Sarah McBride and AU....y'all are the best. Sarah, thanks for coming out in such a brave and beautiful way. AU, thanks for being an open and respectful community.
•The reason you have to sign that agreement is because you're dumb as hell and torrent like an idiot. Also- if you don't like the Who then go to hell
•can people stop complaining about the lack of attractive men here? maybe the guys here are just my type, but i see a lot of guys that are "real" cute and more than just "AU" cute
•Rants have really gone downhill since they stopped going in the Eagle
•Okay, so I've definitely seen more mice than ever in the last few weeks, so that claim by 2-Fix is bogus.
•Spider Pig! Spider Pig! Does whatever a spider pig does. Can he swing from a web? No he can't, he's a pig. Lookouttt! Here comes the spider pig!
•Oh my god Becky, look at that dumb biddie!
•I'm feeling very sick, but I can't help think about this girl I just started hanging out with. This one goes to you I.R
•Dear Mr. Kerwin, I don't get email often, but when I do I put yours straight to the SPAM folder.
•@ "Girl who loves being an attractive, feminine girl no one would really pin as bisexual." I'm a bi-species hamster and I don't mind hooking up with a human. P.S. I wrote this with a banana on my head so don't judge me.
•@"Psychics are not real." I knew you'd say that!
•@I hope I don't annoy you, it's just that I think you're a really cool dude and I'd like to get to know you. (:... that's a good one. It's just sad that in today's world we still have to qualify that type of statement. Just because I'm into you doesn't make me a crazy stalker.
•@That makes everyone who is hating on the bikini ranter a huge hypocrite: What? I have no idea what you just said.
•I like to think the chocolatey cupcake things sold in the Ward cafe and Megabytes are muffins, because then I can eat them for breakfast and not feel as guilty.
•Came on here to congratulate Sarah McBride, but people already did! I'm really proud the AU community is accepting and happy for her.
•@I want to respect women but I know if I do, it'll lower my value as a man: I can only speak for myself (not women in general) but I know that I am more attracted to guys who, at first, give a little push-back. When a guy is too into me too quickly it usually turns me off from him. However, once we start dating, it's time for the games to stop and the relationship to begin, and that's when I want him to be nice. I know that its confusing, and all I can say is sorry for being difficult...
•By claiming Eagle Rants are funny, people prove they have a dry sense of humor. IMO
•Not all girls respond well to jerks, promise! Also, I've learned that if something makes me feel terrible, it's a sign that I shouldn't be doing it. Please keep being a nice guy, the world needs more of them!
•Wait, so Sarah McBride is the former Tim McBride, yes? [Editor's note: Yes.]
•I'm going to miss you when you leave on May 4...
•Some things are not natural. We were created a certain way for a reason.
•Dear Eagle, If you want me to stop reading your articles all you have to do is use the word "dorm." They are Residence Halls! [Editor's note: Dorm = res hall.]
•TDR- now is the time when I need you at your prime and you have literally sucked so much for the past 2 weeks or so... please have better food during finals week I'm already dying..
•@"How come Sarah gets criticized for lacking visibility, but Nate never got criticized for lacking substance? The Eagle is the most superficial paper." Perhaps the two evaluations were conceived written by different people. [Editor's note: Different staffs, yes.]
•@"What the *&%$ does the eagle have against Gym Class Heroes? It was a sweet show, chill." How are you enjoying middle school?
•Let's be real here. I'm not even a COMM major and I know that SOC has some of the coolest/greatest professors on campus
•I honestly don't understand how you're not studying right now. Not sure if you've even cracked open a book at all today...
•I loved you and screwed everything up. Now we'll never be together. You've been such a jerk to me, and yet I still wish every day you'd change your mind and be with me. I thought I was going to marry you...now I don't know if I'll ever see you again.
•Love wearing a suit
•I've finally become so unhappy for absolutely no reason that I can't stop sleeping or crying and I don't know how I'm going to pass my finals if I don't get better soon
•Am I the only one who gets confused at the social politics while watching Gossip Girl?
•I'm starting a weight loss regimen, even though it will probably mean saying goodbye to what little cleavage I've managed to amass in the past couple of months.
•Queen of the Quad: You beat the King. I love you. (King, if you want to win, post more often please) BUT. You may be the death of me. I read your posts instead of studying for finals. Fail.
•EDITOR. Yo hice un EAGLE RANT en ESPANOL pero nadie posted it! RACISTS. [Editor's note: El primero Rant de hoy es en espanol. Es suyo? Entonces, ya lo publique. Que le vaya bien!]
•I am 23 years old, have never had a girlfriend, and I am a misanthrope. Yes, I am a proud product of AU.
•One year later and I STILL want to defecate on Kerwin's chest.
•I can't wait until all you uglies leave campus for summer and the cuter people come in.
•while the AU community may be accepting of Sarah McBride, I think it's important to note that much of society won't be.. it's gonna be hard entering the job force where there is bound to be discrimination (especially in politics) so best of luck [Editor's note: Perhaps that makes the accepting society at AU all the more precious.]
•It would be great if just during finals week people would be respectful and not talk in the quiet study lounge. It's a quiet lounge for a reason, there are plenty of other places to study and talk.
•Whenever I work the desk and the rowing team comes in, I get excited. I think their coxswain is a cutie.
•Senior bucket list item: submit a rant. Check!
•I would have loved to have a universal AU bucket list that everyone sought to do in their four years before graduation... and not one made by AU with stuff like "Swipe into TDR," but stuff like "Sneak into TDR" or "Make out with an AU student who later comes out" or "Go to an 8:55 class drunk" or "Post an EagleRant" ;)
•So much work to do yet I feel so at peace with the world. Great feeling.
•Gym Class Heroes was amazing. Don't hate.
•My best friend is coming here and I'm so excited!!!!!
•My iPhone was taken out of EQB the morning of Wednesday the 25th - it's a brand new white iPhone 4S (I'd only had it just over a week). It was wearing a red Otterbox case. (Though I'm under the impression it has changed hands at least once and may have been removed from the case.) The serial number is C39GR3X6DTDG. If you have any information regarding my iPhone, please contact Public Safety.
•If you've had something of yours stolen on campus, please join the Victims of Theft Facebook group (filed within American University). Together, we victims can stand up for ourselves and for justice!
•I know that finals week eagle rants are ridden with complaints from the library quiet floor but I am honestly okay with a little bit of whispering every once in a while. That's no big deal. What actually bothers me is the group of munching, chatting unproductive biddies that pop open ten bags of extra fried chips and invite all of their friends to join in their unproductive-ness loudness at 2 in the morning. THIS IS THE ONLY QUIET FLOOR IN THE ENTIRE SCHOOL, please respect it or at least pretend like you care about the needs of those around you.
•Is it just me, or do floorcest couples never ever break up? There are two on my floor...
•Otters?
•just fell head over heels in love with a guy on my floor, how did i not notice him all year?!
•His gorgeous face, awesome body, sexy deep voice, and classic American style is there to hide that he is, in fact, the devil.
•Seeing you on Sunday has made me miss you in general.
•I'm crushing so hard on you! It's not even like I want to get in your pants(right away) or anything, I just want to have hour long conversations and then take a mid day nap with you in my arms and describe our kisses as 'snogging'
Rant here!
