•@"Maybe think about what you’re doing to cause people to not want to be friends with you. Good luck finding more accepting people than AU students. They don’t exist." Just because people here are accepting (which generally, yes they are), doesn't mean they're what a person is looking for in a friend. Maybe the OP just doesn't have things in common with the people they've met.
•Girl, I love you, but I have to confess that I rub my chest hairs for two hours in the morning to get the blood flowing.
•@ "Sneak into TDR" or "Make out with an AU student who later comes out" or "Go to an 8:55 class drunk" or "Post an EagleRant" " already did all those, haha.....
•You have the longest, flattest butt I have ever seen.
•To Do List: 1. Do stuff
•But I don't wanna go to another one of these group project meetings! #finalsweekproblems
•Type your rant here! ^ Haha!
•I just kissed my best friend I'm in love with. He's leaving in 2 days. Better late than never I suppose.
•China. That is all.
•"Good luck finding more accepting people than AU students. They don’t exist." So you're saying that if this person doesn't have any friends at AU, it must be because he/she is so obnoxious that even the most accepting students in the world won't put up with him or her. What a nice person you are- I'm sure you're very accepting.
•Ok, May 2nd rants sucked. 4 more days of daily rants you guys. MAKE THEM GOOD!
•@”If you've had something of yours stolen on campus, please join the Victims of Theft Facebook group (filed within American University). Together, we victims can stand up for ourselves and for justice!” That’s cute. But also sad. I’ve lost my iphone 4 times in my 4 years at AU and it has been returned to lost and found all 4 times by anonymous strangers. # reasons I love AU. But sorry for the ranter with the lost phone? Did you have the “find my iphone” function turned on so you can GPS track it?
•Did anyone else read the New York Times "Room for Debate" section yesterday on the feminism versus motherhood debate? It was very fascinating. But the first columnist talking about attachment parenting and then randomly veering off into being anti-birth control talk was a disgrace. She does not represent attachment parenting. Attachment parenting is driven by science, and the science is in on birth control preventing cancer.
•What's the real difference between Salon and Slate in terms of news coverage?
•Editor, a few days ago you referred to watching summer shows this summer as a god alternative to daily eagle rants. Do you have any to recommend? Because once Desperate Housewives is over in 2 weeks, I am scared life as I know it will cease to exist. [Editor's note: "So You Think You Can Dance" is my personal favorite.]
•"Wednesday May 3rd?" I'm just going to assume you mean today (Wednesday, May 2nd). Here goes nothing.
•So after the NESAC (the little ivies), the Patriot League (which AU is part of) is listed on college confidential multiple times under rich kid schools. I always thought of AU as extremely economically diverse with lots of rich kids but also lots of upper middle class kids, middle class kids, and lower middle class kids who are the first in their family to go to college. I thought of Vanderbilt, Duke, Emory, Wake Forest, Richmond, and mainly southern schools as the more “rich kid” schools full of snobbery and an old money plantation type feel. Am I wrong here?
•You're so cute and wonderful. Suddenly, everything looks and feels differently in the world and I think this may be right. I'm going to miss you so much this summer.
•Does this bagel have tarragon? Oh la la
•@"I want to respect women but I know if I do, it'll lower my value as a man in the social hierarchy of life..." You're not looking at it correctly. Girls aren't attracted to nice guys, that's correct, but it's not because the guys are nice- it's because "nice" translates to "obsequious." Doormats aren't entertaining. On the flipside, girls really aren't attracted to straight up assholes- there's a big difference between lighthearted teasing and genuine assholery. Teasing is fun, it's the name of the game, not being a dick
•@"•Whenever I work the desk and the rowing team comes in, I get excited. I think their coxswain is a cutie." props for knowing how to spell it!
•We know you don't want to be doing this group project with us. We don't want to be doing it either. But if you would please drop the attitude and stop simultaneously insisting that you need to do all of the work for us, it would make this experience a lot less painful.
•You want to talk about being a Jake and Amir fan? I followed their personal Vimeo accounts before either one started making videos for CollegeHumor. Originally they were both normal people, but in one early video Amir claimed to have drunk sixty beers in one night, and Jake realized that he had never been drunk at all. They rolled with it, and Amir got crazier in every episode.
•Sometimes I wish I had regular finals... what I would give to just sit down with a book a study. But no, I'm staying up all night working on projects and trying to perfect even the tiniest of details.
•I just now used the "Chat with a Librarian" tool on the Library website-- coolest thing ever :) It's nice to get answers to question without having to go to the library. ^.^
•This has been such a great year. Expelled some biddies from my life, met some great people and better friends, partied hard, finished last semester with a 3.5 and still doing well!
•@ Chick who tried to give me an HJ. Don't try to perfect what I already have. You'll just embarrass yourself.
•Thanks AU...for one more year of horribly overpriced food and limited dining options.
•We should put a kosher/halal place where McDonalds was...tired of eating the kosher meals at box lunch, aren't we supposed to be a "diverse" school
•does the language department hate students? why else would they put finals on a Saturday?
•"Let's be real here. I'm not even a COMM major and I know that SOC has some of the coolest/greatest professors on campus" THANK YOU!! But really, it's true.
••"I am 23 years old, have never had a girlfriend, and I am a misanthrope. Yes, I am a proud product of AU." you sound sexy, let's go out.
•To the bro who doesn't like the who Dafuq is wrong with you?
•@Is it just me, or do floorcest couples never ever break up? There are two on my floor...: HAHAHA. If only.
•I think I'm in love with the former SG president.
•EDITOR: Gracias mi amor por publicar mis rants, ¡te extrañaré durante el verano! VIVA ECUADOR!!! Y Viva AU :) [Editor's note: : ) ]
•Dear Editor, Dorm ? Res. Hall
•@"Maybe think about what you’re doing to cause people to not want to be friends with you. " Actually, the person harassing me started harassing my friends as well so I stepped back to protect them, and now because of this person and their friends I'm afraid to go out on campus except for class. But thanks for being the complete opposite of supportive.
•Sarah McBride is cool. But I feel like that handwashing article in the Eagle next to Sarah's letter was a joke? It was so extreme that it made me question whether Sarah's letter was a joke, too. [Editor's note: No joke. And the hand washing column was written by a former Eagle columnist known for his sarcasm.]
•Mother wonking finals can wonk themselves.
•I wonder how many rants were submitted that didn't get published about people who don't support Sarah McBride.. I would venture to guess there were quite a few despite AU being so "accepting" [Editor's note: Yes, there were a few.]
•@I'm crushing so hard on you! Describe the girl!!!
•Allison DuBois: It's easy to profile someone you don't know and make vague guesses that could be interpreted a number of ways. There have been numerous cases and tests where she's been completely wrong. Even the Texas Rangers who she claims to have helped deny working with her. And its very convenient that she can't do it on command isn't it? I swear people just want to believe its real so much that they just don't care about the evidence against it. You desperately want your belief in the supernatural to be affirmed.
•Can we revoke the campus plan?
•you have a flat butt and never had anything more than that so stop complaining. also you got fat while abroad and now look like an awkward jellybean with toothpick legs. you make me angry.
•got tickets to dispatch and good old war! ay ay ay ay ayy
•@"How do you know we aren’t reincarnated into other people or life forms?": How do you know that we are? I have no problem with the idea of reincarnation, but I'm not going to spend my entire life thinking its actually going to happen. Everyone is so fixated on what happens after to you die that you just forget to live. Yea death is a scary thing but its a part of life. Without life there would be no death.
•i have a midterm at 8.55 tomorrow and played the ukulele all day. noo regrets at all.
•“I would love to believe that when I die I will live again... But much as I want to believe that, …I know of nothing to suggest that it is more than wishful thinking. The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there's little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides.” – Carl Sagan
•"If we long to believe that the stars rise and set for us, that we are the reason there is a Universe, does science do us a disservice in deflating our conceits?....For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." -Carl Sagan
•"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence." -Carl Sagan
•You're leaving on Friday and for some strange reason I want to see you before you're off. I can't ask you... But I'm holding out hope that you'll ask me. I'd say yes!
•Dear, Its nice to miss you, but its also nice to kiss you. Can't wait to be reunited :)
•@"Otters?" Yes.
•Every time you see me I am buying sleeping pills, candy, and Red Bull. Dear Cute Boy, please don't think I have a drug problem, especially since I did not explain CLEG right.
•To the XO freshman biddie staring at me at the gym for a full 30 minutes. Yes I am bigger than you and yes I am working harder than you. It's people like you that make people afraid of the gym.
•A prospie told me that talking to me led him to decide to come to AU. This is one of the best feelings ever. I hope I helped him make the right choice
•Every time I try to type in the password for statcrunch, I type "eagly." Which is kind of a cute word.
•Hahaha, here that nice guy? One girl says sure you can be sloppy seconds after she has stopped whoring herself out, and the other "I like nice guys" but am a complete ditz. Screw em' acquire capital.
•GO AWAY CACKLING BIDDIES
•I'm afraid that you might take some of my actions as trying to make a move on you. I do have a crush on you, but I'm also trying to be completely respectful of the fact that you have a boyfriend. I treat you the same way that I treat anyone else that I'm close friends with.
•Hanan Mahbouba in an orange prison jumpsuit.....glorious!
•George Zimmerman should be on Mount Rushmore.
•@floorcest: It's hard to break up when you know you have to see that person every day for the rest of the year.
•Glee is the most idiotic show I've ever watched. IT IS SO CLICHE. Every single character on the show is literally the definition of a stereotype. They've got a kid representing almost every minority group imaginable in the most token way.
•There are not enough biddies at this school. LETS CHANGE THIS AND BRING IN THE DANCING LOBSTERS.
•Dear floormates, every time you say "YOLO" I want to punch a kitten. Please stop.
•Just 3 days stand between me and my LDR boyfriend being reunited...and despite all the s*** I've gone through this semester and all the finals and papers I still need to complete just knowing that puts me in the deepest state of peace
•Dear graduate, I am so happy we can end on a good, friendly, happy note. Although I'm half way done, and you're off to the next chapter in your life, I hope we can still continue our friendship. I have learned and experienced a lot from everything with you. I don't regret anything I did, or say. It was all worth it because of how much it gave me. Thanks. Good luck with everything. You know where to find me.
•@"¡¡¿¿¡¿¡¡¡¿POR QUÉ NO ME AMAS??!?!?!!!?!!" te amo
•yea, i get it, it's finals... but i can't stand not knowing what's going on in your head (aka how you feel about me) please just get up with me? i miss you
•Otters? CBVD's class?
•To whoever complained about the invert exam being open notes: you are mean
•I hate how I can never buy fruit without it going spoiled first with half the fruit remaining. Can't wait until I have a family, so we can all share fruit.
•Dear Couple Across from me in SIS: This is a HUGE building and literally every other couch and table area is empty. You seriously have nowhere better to sit and tickle each other, and groom each other, and laugh really loudly at nothing? You really have to sit NEXT TO ME? It's finals week. Go mate somewhere else.
•That story about rape is full of holes in so many places it is not even acceptable to discuss. The Sarah story is either a fabrication or we are only hearing half the story. Talked to an officer at Sibley and never heard back... as the son of policeman in a city that is bull. But the rabbit wheel goes... spend more and more money on positions for rape awareness. This is madness.
•I love everyone at AU.
••Wish granted. It is finals week and I'm getting some lovin. But, be careful what you wish for because I cannot bring myself to study now when I could be spending seven hours in your room.
•you make me so angry.
•when you try to be upfront with someone to prevent conflict, your voice makes me so angry that I cannot pay attention to what the actual issue is because I'm too distracted by your stupid voice.
•Dean Peter Starr is one of the coolest people on campus! I'm going to miss him after graduation.
•The reason I don't take 8:55s is becoming increasingly clear through this 8:55 final for a 10:20 class. Why is the final schedule so cruel?
Rant here!
