•I can't justify staying in DC if the only jobs I can find are ones that I could easily get back home...
•whatever, i like having the rants weekly. every monday i have something to look forward to. have a nice summer, editor! [Editor’s Note: Thanks! Same to you!]
•@haven't had sex in 2 weeks: Cry me a river. I'm in a long distance relationship and haven't had sex in 4 months.
•@"Wisdom teeth suck, especially when you had 6 that needed to be removed." Actually it's quite awesome. You're asleep during the surgery so you don't feel a thing. Then you get awesome painkillers that will last you far longer than you actually need them. I got my wisdom teeth out 4 years ago and still have oxy leftover.
•I'm so lonely!!!
•What can I do to make daily rants a reality again?! Please come back daily rants! Please!
•Why am I so emo?
•@ "Time to update my resume and fine a real job" With that kind of grammar control, you should do fine.
•Summer song of the week: "Warrior" from Kimbra, A-Trak, and Mark Foster (Foster the People). Put down the "Call Me, Maybe" BS and thank me later for the song.
•Congratulations to the Winklevoss twins on their Facebook IP....oh...Sorry.
•To people who say "Yolo" in conversation, I can recommend some nice cliffs which you can jump off of. #Yolo
•I hate when people try to talk dirty to me during sex. It instantly takes me out of the mood. Unless your cussing or oh-my-goding, no words please.
•AU: Why does it cost more to get credit for an internship that you had no part in providing than actually hiring a professor to teach a summer class? You suck suck suck!
•"Some like it hot and some like it cold, and I like ice cream" - George Balanchine
•#callmemaybe: 1. Neither. I don't really advertise my sexuality so most people think I'm straight. I didn't think that you seemed interested in me so I was hoping it was only because you weren't aware of my sexuality. 2. I did not expect anybody to respond to my Eagle Rant (especially the person mentioned in the rant) so I'm freaking out a little. 3. What makes you think that you're the person I was talking about?
•I smell like cheese. Does this mean I should shower? [Editor’s Note: Perhaps.]
•I HATE THE LSAT DAMMIT WHY MUST IT RUIN MY LIFE
•Get a job folks!
•If you had to establish that you wouldn't be awkward after our one-night stand, then it probably should never have happened. FML.
•@Kid who thinks racism is funny right on! you get it.
•poop.
•LET US PROCLAIM THE MYSTERY OF FAITH.
•This summer's been so boring so far that I'm actually still reading all of the Today@AU emails. (And still hating the new format.)
•Why doesn't AU have a daily newspaper like other colleges? Gosh, AU Eagle editors and writers are such slackers. No offense intended - just constructive criticism. [Editor’s Note: It takes a lot of people and a lot of money to run a daily newspaper. Come on board and lend a hand :)]
•I'm gonna cultivate a bamboo farm in the fat rolls of my stomach this year.
•What if "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" was actually a U.S. government program made to torture terrorist suspects, prisoners on death row, and Aryan truckers?
•@You're one of a kind, where is this girl for the summer??
•I graduated 5 yrs ago and this is how I spend my Friday nights.... Reading eagle rants. FML...to all you recently graduated, the real world sucks. I'm old and work is exhausting. I miss school and somehow having the energy to pull all nighters and then go to a house party the next night.
•Racism is not funny; it's HILARIOUS!
•I am struggling without my boyfriend. I can't get no... satisfaction
•Really? You guys are still f***ing? Dude...don't you have a girlfriend now? Girl...respect yourself and your "friend" more plz.
•As a man, the closest way I will ever get to experiencing the miracle of child birth is doing a number 2 in a dirty bar.
•I'm about 90 percent sure that the people, who make thumping noises, living above me are having sex. Other theories include a vibrant game of Hungry Hungry Hippos, hockey players training, and someone being beat to death.
•I have intensely strong sexual and emotional attraction to my boyfriend's best friend. But I love my boyfriend and he is perfect marriage material. What do I do? I can't just tell my bf to stop having his best friend over. HELP!
Rant here!
