•idk what we are, what we were, and i want to be with you again but i want to get to know you this time. i just don't exactly know what to say, but baby i'll say it soon enough.
•Casa Bonita? Please. It's all about Casa Negra and Disco Heaven. [Editor's note: <3]
•I had an extremely kinky sexual dream about my ex last night. I don't know what my subconscious is trying to tell me, and I'm not sure if I like it or not.
•I'm falling for my dream girl but why does the timing have too be so bad?!
•WITHOUT YOUUUU!!! I really enjoy whoever's ranting Rent lyrics. <3
•@”[Editor's note: See above. Also, breaks are healthy” Umm when did I say breaks weren’t healthy? A 1 week break every 1 to 2 months is healthy. A 3 MONTH break is very unhealthy. And yes, if you love your work you will be glad at the work you put in. And if you don’t enjoy posting eagle rants, then find someone who does enjoy it and would be happy to post the rants this summer.
•@"I had a dream that evil cannibals came to AU..." This made my day. So glad I'm not the only one with crazy/awesome dreams.
•I think I'm falling for this guy who is kind of shy... is it weird/bad if I make the first move? I'm afraid if I don't, he never will..
•@person who would form anti-bullying club: that's great! I'm so passionate about it as well and am optimistic enough to believe I can make a difference! we could also be the club that brings the @PostSecret AU guy to speak!!
•@"I'm a person...But the worst part is that I know you’ll never apologize." Be brave! Know that there are always going to be bad people out there, but hopefully you know that enough people love you and will keep you safe from those people. This is the reason that I am a feminist, not because of inequality of pay or other issues, but because of the pervasiveness of blatant misogyny that is completely acceptable in our society and makes women live in humiliation and fear.
•It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll. I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.
• you're all weird
•So, apparently "choose" is present tense. When did that happen? I always wrote it "chose," in order to rhyme with "lose." :/
•You're my best friend, and I'm in love with you. We can't do anything about it now though and I'm so sorry. One day.
•I want to quit phonathon right MEOW
•Is it too late for me to drop this class?
•Dear Ranters, We at AU Phonathon are the real judges of Eagle Rants. You may think you are ranting to no one, someone who has advice, or the au student body, but you're really ranting to us. We mock your intelligence, judge your life decisions, empathize with your pain and struggles. We are here to talk (literally) and we will always listen for you. -AU Phonathoner P.S. No matter what is going on with ya'll, one thing is for sure: You have to be nicer to the editor [Editor's note: Can this editor get a T-shirt that says "Eagle Rants Editor <3 Phonathoners"?]
•Thanks for the random RENT lyrics
•If you are a virgin fine. If you are not, fine. Just please, shut the f*** up! If it is for some sort of value or belief, than it is fine, but there is no pride OR shame in virginity or promiscuity. It's just part of being human
•Eagle Rants are not rants anymore. Sad I loved reading how bad other people's lives sucked
•Dear Roommate, you could get the mail sometime, you know. Sincerely, It's Never For Me Anyway
•Other females, is there some class I can take on how to look moderately decent in a photo? I always look terrible - eyes half closed. I'm not insanely, out-of-this-world attractive to begin with, but I photography so horribly... Any tips?
•Sometimes I get so frustrated with my appearance that I just want to cry. You can fix your body shape, but when you're born with an ugly face, there's nothing you can do.
•Why is porn so racist??? [Editor's note: From Ms. Magazine: "This stereotype of black women as promiscuous, overbearing and in need of control is one that has historical resonance–from slavery to Moynihan–and continues to inform present day governmental policies."]
•OL=orientation leader
•Where was the "Free Speech Wall"?
•Slightly Less Drunk Performer, Thanks broski. Which act were you? I probably remember you even though I was wasted. You're not the guitarist that performed with me are you? Drunken Sax Man
•Blond guy at the Perch is gay, if I'm thinking of who you're thinking of. Blond short hair. probably walks around with crutches. He's gay and has a boyfriend. And he's a friend of mine too. :)
•I thought the editorial about "discourse" was disgraceful. An event I, along with many other students, was interested in hearing Gov. Brewer respond to questions, only to have it rudely interrupted by people who couldn't even be bothered to ask questions. For the first time, I was absolutely ashamed of being an AU student. So, when those kids are held to the consequences of their decisions, it's suddenly time for "polite discourse?" No. The correct time was before they even paraded in. SO sick of the bias in this paper.
•Being a female conservative on this campus is incredibly discouraging. I'm so sick of having professors interrupt me when I try to make a comment after the class discussion turns to a rant about "racist Republicans" and I can't stand having other women tell me I'm not a feminist. But, the College Republicans here are incredibly intimidating, and I don't know how to get involved. Anyone have suggestions?
•Harvey Birdman, attorney at law
•Why am I so lonely all the time? I'm thinking of joining a sorority but I don't know if that would help...
•Being a staunch military supporter is and friends with lots of military people is awesome, but sometimes I literally fall into temporary depression because I feel like my life choices are worthless because I'm not in the military or planning on being in the military. Like I'm a piece of sh*t compared to them. Like I don't know anything...
•@"Orientation leader... duh. I think we all know who this is about." I can't remember back to the summer... which one is it? [Editor's note: These Rants are toeing with the privacy rule. Tread carefully, Ranters.]
•You're hot, but you're really weird, and a bit too immature for my liking. Damn my high(ish) standards!
•WOULD WHOEVER IS STEALING LAPTOPS PLEASE STOP? And to everyone else, LOCK YOUR DOORS!
•Guys, let's be real here. The reason a lot of us are virgins is because we're just kind of shy and not really able to deal with the opposite gender on that level yet. It's fine to admit that. You don't have to make excuses.
•You said you would visit this weekend and then suddenly you have too much homework. I was looking forward to this for SOOO LONG. I can't believe you would hurt me like this. And you didn't even say sorry. I know it's not your fault you have homework, but you could still say sorry. Am I wrong here?
•The new Today@AU is so terrible! I used to read the whole thing, now it is so long and repetitive I just can't.
•Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves!
•@"roommate, thanks for making me a hookup playlist..." you won't be thanking me once you get to the middle of it and find CALL ME MAYBE!!!!! bwahahaha this is why you should make your own sexytime playlists...
•I met Nick Rangos fairly recently. I don't understand the obsession displayed in Eagle Rants...
•@LDR song suggestion: Thanks for the song idea. It helped a little. But if only a song could cure my lonely heart.
•Why do people who incessantly talk insist on working on the second floor of the library? IT'S THE ONLY SILENT FLOOR. Geez.
•@person who had a dream that we had a gymnastics gym : You have no idea how much I wish this were a reality. And I often have a similar dream (at least the part about the gymnastics gym)
•@”All virgins unite!! Let's get together and pray!!” I’m an atheist virgin. Why do you assume virgins are religious? Morals and religion are not interchangeable. Learn the difference.
•Where is this free speech wall and why have I never heard of it? I fully support the quest for free speech. I was disgusted by the way AU censored Alex Knepper’s logical arguments and regret not taking action back then.
•@”I really feel like I need to go to the Counseling Center, but I wish you could schedule an appointment online. Walking in or calling is so intimidating that I've been avoiding it since last semester...” You can do it. I believe in you. And when you do call you should suggest that they have an online scheduling option. But seriously, no one there will judge you. They are there to help. And very god at it, I may add.
•@”But the worst part is that I know you’ll never apologize.” What happened?
•@”breaks are healthy”: Actually studies show the detrimental effects of binge breaking (ie 3 months vacations). The ideal vacation in terms of maximizing happiness is 3 to 5 days. More frequent breaks promote more happiness than extremely extended breaks. Following this logic, if posting rants is such a pleasure-less and burdensome chore for you (or the future editor), it would be better to forgo rants for 5 days once a month (or once every other month) rather than go for 3 months this summer with no rants at all.
•I started watching Army Wives as well to help myself feel less alone without my bf. But I've already gone 3 months without sex, and I won't see him again for another month. I'm SO sexually frustrated and I've tried masturbating but it doesn't work on me.
•I'm scared and I'm lonely and I'm spiraling down and YOU'RE NOT HERE TO HELP ME! I hate that you're away. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.
•If we took all the money that we spend on bombs and wars and instead invested it all in scientific research, imagine all the things we could do today. I could probably teleport to visit my LDR bf in California. And I wouldn't be do f-ing depressed.
•Let’s try asking the editor nicely if we can have summer rants rather than trying to guilt trip her (or him, still not sure of your gender). [Editor's note: Your nice suggestion is very much appreciated. Thank you!]
•@”I wish there was someone in my life to save me from myself.” I feel this way ALL the time. Who and where are you?
•@lag in rant submission pipeline: some people probably don't read everyday, or took a few days off because they thought rants were going to be weekly. [Editor's note: Still laughing.]
•The world revives; colors renew.
•Open your door; I'll be your tenant. Don't got much baggage to lay at your feet, but sweet kisses I've got to spare. I'll be there and I'll cover you.
•To the girls who write about boys stalking them. What do you consider to be the definition of stalking? [Editor's note: From the Stalking Resource Center: stalking - a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear.]
•RAWR I'm a moose.
•Dear Ex, We dated for several months until you broke up with me without explaining why. Now I like a new boy, but I'm afraid to let him know because I feel like there's something wrong with me. So thanks for messing with my head and f***ing up my self-esteem so royally. I just wish I had the guts to say this to your face.
•We need a new plague.
•I don't know if I'm that girl that's driving you crazy, but I like to pretend that I am.
•@person who wants people to take PB/jelly/butter on plate- putting these on a plate would get messy and run into all your other food. can you really not be patient enough to simply wait the minute or 2 it takes someone to put jelly on a bagel?? I swear patience is a lost cause...
•@"I’m still a virgin because I have a phobia of getting pregnant." Or, if you want something less drastic, just track your ovulation cycle. If you know when your ovulating then avoid sex a that time. It is very easy to test for at home. Google it.
•@'Clearly you don’t understand relationship psychology.' Ummm. Wow. Do you realize how insecure/ignorant you sound? That's like eating pizza and never trying another food cuz you THINK it's best. I for one, am proud my gf and I have had others but CHOOSES ME. That's what makes it special :).
•To whoever was playing accordion outside Leonard hall it sounded just like my late grandfather's music, it was lovely. Please come and play again. ~ Leo 2 resident
•Why is there nowhere to get condoms on campus after 6pm? The Wellness Center closes at 5 and the Health Center at 6. RHA and housing and dining are prohibited from giving away condoms by the university. What if you didn't plan ahead? What if your sober self is trying to stop you from having sex and doesn't have condoms, but your drunk self really wants to and you're not prepared?! Seriously between this and the rate of STD testing at the health center (and lack of free testing close to campus) there are definitely things this campus can improve on.
•My couselor at the counseling center's the only person who's cared to listen to me. I wish we met under different circumstances.. He'd be an awesome friend.
•@Intimidated by Counseling Center. I felt the same way before I started going, but honestly, after you have filled out the paperwork and finally get to talk to someone, you will realize it is definitely worth it. I just wish I could get to see my assigned counselor already, but she's under the weather at the moment. >_<
Rant here!
