Eagle Rants April 26, 2012

•love yourself.

•EAGLE RANTS POSTED DURING THE SUMMER!??!!??!! I feel like this happens every summer, I just forget or don't know about them... but YAY!

•Beyonce is my spirit animal.

•EXCUSE me, I will tan IN A BIKINI on the QUAD all I WANT. I work out HARD every day, and I look d*mn GOOD. If anything, the school should be sponsoring my tanning when tour groups walk by. Bitter much?

•re: why use a hair dryer? Um because I have extremely long hair that I am not willing to cut, and not enough time in the day to let it air dry, and don't want to freeze my butt off outside because I have wet hair. and putting your wet hair up into a ponytail or messy bun is bad for your hair too - it's stretches the strands out. And showering at night and going to bed gives you split ends. So I shower in the morning, towel dry my hair, use a heat protecting spray and blow dry the crap out of my hair before class. And I don't expect to change my routine any time soon.

•Dear editor, "Mary" 7th??? really? That is all. [Editor's note: Oops. It's finals season so this editor is a bit unhinged.]

•All this talk of rape makes me want to watch The Accused with Jodie Foster. Pinball machine rape! High score!!!

•Don't get snotty about how you "work out" by running outside, because that just tells me that you don't know anything about physical conditioning whatsoever.

•Today's rants were a real cluster-f***. I love it! Everyone hates each other and thinks that their own idiosyncratic way of looking at the world is correct. I'm feeding off of your anger and discontent, and they taste good.

•@Enjoys classmate's company: Just tell her! Whether romantic in intent or not, it will most likely make that person's day to hear it!

•I thought the AU health center article was spot on. I've been misdiagnosed so many times. I was told my eye infection was just allergies, my eczema was athletes foot, and my upper respiratory infection was just a cold. Granted, they do a lot of things right but I hate wasting money when they're wrong.

•Here I will put the rape statistic of 1 in 4 to rest. Read the study, it is not rape but "unwanted sexual contact" which means whatever the heck you want it to mean. No one is against the victim of rape when it is done through force,. The only cases people, such as myself, have contention with are web the facts surrounding the rape are at best fuzzy. A female can ruin a male's life with a simple accusation, look at Duke. All I ask for is that we reasonably look at the cases and make an objective judgement.

•I wonder if the editors enjoy reading each and every comment.

•All the talking about parenting is scaring the crap out of me. I don't want to even THINK about having kids until I'm out of college.

•Are you really at college to find a husband? That's kind of sad. College is the time to find yourself, and learn and spending it looking for a guy is a serious waste.

•theEagle website looks really boring. Can someone please add something cool?

•Black squirrels are actually common in D.C. It's a long story, but a few were actually brought down from Canada a long time ago... and now we have tons of them.

•F*ck all the haters, I love call me maybe.

•@housewife = a chore and slave labor : Actually being a housewife is the most freeing job one can have. I can choose what I do each day and when I do it. I can take the kids to the zoo one day, to a museum the next day, to the park the next day, to a children’s theater performance the next day, etc. You on the other hand, have to show up at 8 am each day to a boring corporate office and do whatever your boss tells you until 5 pm. Sounds like you’re the slave to me.

•@”I PITY THE FOOL that still drinks bottled water.” It’s fool WHO, not FOOL that. And I pity the fool who doesn’t know elementary school grammar. PS No studies have found no melted plastic in water bottles (unless you microwave them). Have fun drinking tap water, which is full of arsenic. And DC tap water is rated by the EPA as one of the worst cities for tap water in the US. Enjoy the poison while I drink my clean bottled water.

•So happy for summer rants this summer. I alsmost died last summer without them. Woo-Hoo! Thanks Editor and thanks Eagle! [Editor's note: There were Rants last summer ...]

•@”Being a housewife is not an occupation. It is a glorified chore that borders on slave labor.” You’re obviously a troll, but I’ll play along just because your arguments are so easy to prove wrong. Please explain how being a housewife is a “chore” that borders on “salve labor” any moreso than any job in the corporate world or public sector.

•I read the feminists like to be sexually submissive article in newsweek too. I could see how people would maybe take offense to the cover photo. But I think the article was well written and non-offensive. And I like to be dominated too.

•@"I don’t want a state school husband." I wanted to throw up when I read this. Either you're a racist or a gold digger.

•@“You can be quite educated and still be unprepared for the task of raising children.” Tell me, oh wise one, what must one do to prepare for raising children? Apparently reading parenting books isn’t one of them.

•@silence is not consent: So every time I have sex with my boyfriend it is rape because I am silent and don’t say yes? Wow. Yes, silence is consent. Are guys just supposed to be mind readers? Please go some basic legal research on the term rape. Unless she is unconscious or otherwise unable to give consent, not saying no is consent. [Editor's note: Actually, the law recognizes that a woman could have been raped even if she said nothing, appearing to "give in" because, for example, she has been threatened, coerced, etc.]

•I wish you would call every day for 20 minutes instead of twice a week for 3 hours.

•AU summer classes! Both sessions baby. Who's excited?!

•@”Housewives---what do you do/ what value do you have after your children have left the house? With life expectancy increasing, that leaves a lot of years to just...chill”: How would a stay at home mom’s retirement be any different that a woman with a paying job’s requirement?

•@roommate kicking you out: Wow, she is rude. When I have a phone call I leave the room and go outside to talk, so as to not disturb my roommate. It’s your room too. Next time ask HER to leave when she has a phone call. It’s spring for pete sake. She can go outsie and talk if there is nowhere inside where she wants to talk.

•My little brother got into AU! So happy for him.

•Editor: Thanks for the happy birthday. You made my day.

•I don't know if I can keep living alone without going crazy. I get scared at night. But whenever I have people over I get sick of them and want them to leave. ugh

•@retirement from stay at home mom question: Um they would do what any other person does when they retire? Travel more, get a motor home and see the country, read more, learn a new sport, go to water aerobics classes, learn a new musical instrument, take pottery classes at the art center, volunteer more, join local political groups, church groups, etc. Your own imagination is the limit.

•@”But quite simply, if you want to debate something then try negotiating the divide between two divorcees and their financial woes.” What does this even mean? Lol

•To the guys worried about how to stop a crying baby: You follow the 5 Ss. Shushing, swinging, sucking, swaddling, stomach positioning. Got that from a parenting book btw.

•Yay for summer rants! But only once a week? Can we at least get twice a week? With once a week it will take like a month for someone to ask something, someone else to respond, and then the OP to respond to the response. Can we at least get twice a week? Pretty please? What if we promise no mean rants? Then can we have twice a week rants? [Editor's note: The editor-in-chief has spoken.]

•@"So glad I did not rush a sorority. Then, like, I would have to get like, a PR or marketing major, like, no thank you." Or, you know, you could get a double major with an internship on the side AND graduate early. But who would want that?

•Please don’t go back to once a week rants for the summer. Please keep them daily. I am so lonely in my LDR and the support I get on eagle rants really keeps me together. I won’t be in DC this summer, so I won’t have access to the counseling center. The daily support of the eagle rants community really hold me together. Can the eagle maybe get an assistant editor to help the main editor with the rants so that way they can post them more often? [Editor's note: See above.]

•I really love when random undergraduate AU students try to tell students with acne about what drugs they shouldn't take. I trust my dermatologist way more than some stupid undergraduate ranter.

•Nothing says future resentful parent quite like failing to live your own life before creating another. No wonder so many people make their children miserable by trying to live vicariously through them. Congrats on wanting kids so early, but your choice is no more virtuous or "right" than anyone elses', and it makes you look like an asshole when you think people can't work and be there for their children. Your parents must have really sucked.

•My relationship is completely screwing me up. My emotions feel like they were just poured down a garbage disposal. Help...

•I'm curious: what do people think of honors students?

•From now on, I'm just gonna skip over any Rants about rape or housewives when I'm perusing the daily Eagle Rants.

•"@And I don’t know a girl who wouldn’t be turned off by a guy who puts down parenting, so good luck with that." I'm a chick and I hate kids, so nice try. If a guy or a girl was excited about being a parent it'd probably make me want to throw up.

•I just found out I got into the Yellow Ribbon program!!!!!! My life=100x better than it was yesterday. [Editor's note: Congrats!]

•Does anyone else use the "Sigmund" dream app that lets you choose what types of dreams you have as it whispers words into your REM sleep? Does it work as well as they say it does?

•@ Feminists wanting to be dominated in bed: YES. Pin me down, baby!

•NEWS FLASH: NOT EVERY GIRL IN PR OR MARKETING IS IN A SO-RAWR-ITY. STOP HATING!!!!!!!!!

•Uhh so I thought coming to the silent lounge would force me to be immediately productive. I need more self control.

•CAMPBELL'S! Why have you un-salted the salty chicken noodle soup of my youth!

•I'm tired of how prudish the AU population is. I should be able to walk around without a shirt and not be judged. And women should be able to walk around in bikinis and not be called sluts. It's hot out and it's a million times more comfortable to be wearing less clothing than to just suck it up. Honestly, you people need to grow up learn to love the human body.

•...and I just withdrew! See ya AU :p BUT! I'm doing a cross country road trip starting...soon. Anyone in?

•Can everyone back off from me and my bestfriend? We're not dating. We will never date. We don't want to ever date. Stop making it awkward for us.

•Biddies on my floor: STOP SINGING THAT SONG OVER AND OVER. Thank you.

•I think Saturday will be our goodbye date / dinner. Please don't cancell!!

•Some people should be banned from "silent" areas due to their inability to refrain from clicking pens, talking, and being generally noisy.

•I guess I peaked in high school. Womp womp.

•Just because this is the quiet floor and not the silent floor doesn't mean you can have your loud conversations with your stupid sorority sluts. Seriously, STFU and open a book. Knowledge. There, that's a brain tease.

•Really, Student Worker Alliance? I love Aramark workers and truly appreciate all of the work they do. However, stop by the Centennial 3 lounge on any given weekday, and you may notice about 3-5 workers chilling. Cooking, sometimes. Watching tv. For hours. One week I saw them literally every day in the lounge, often for two or three hours. If you want to advocate for them, don't worry about them having too little to do; get them a decent break room where they can have a space to make their own.

•Why are you so awkward and amazing and wonderful and stuff?

•I was almost starting to tolerate the people on my floor but they just had to go and burn popcorn in the microwave. I mean really guys? We only have two weeks left, you should at least know how to use the microwave by now.

•I wonder what Alex Knepper would have to say about the housewife debate. On the one hand his libertarian views would suggest that he would support women choosing the career path of motherhood. On the other hand, his dislike the traditional family structure suggests that he would be against the idea. hmm I miss you Alex. COME BACK!

•@??How do I broach the subject of telling the beautiful and beguiling girl I sit next to in class how much I enjoy her company?: Just drop the word beguiling and if she's smart she'll melt.

•I just fully recognized the awkwardness of the situation.

•I'm so aware of other people its ridiculous. If I have met you, I probably remember you, if you're near me around campus I will notice you, and then promptly worry about whether or not I can smile/wave/say hi.

•@Desperate Housewives ranter: I wish this is what we were talking about. XP It hasn't been on in weeks and I've been trying to get through the gnawing anticipation waiting for the next episode. Of course they made us wait an entire month... :(

•why are people debating the whole rape issue. honestly who cares about the statistic. it happens. we should be doing something about it instead of arguing the 1/4 statistic. shut up.

•Mamacita, te necesito Soy ebrio, that's all the words I know Margaritas and microwave pizzas

•Umma homeboy, and I like to make NOISE.

•I like boobs and sammiches, both of which I will get less of if my future wife works.

•No sleep, no sleep, no sleep, no sleep. Fu@# that im going to sleep.

•This is my own private domicile and I will not be harassed... B****!

•I'd be so mad if I was trying to sleep right now.

•I genuinely think you are the loudest person in existence.

•My serious lack of motivation to complete this giant research paper highly disturbs me. @___@

•That awkward moment when you're gonna fart, and you're on the quiet floor. It happens to me all the time. I blame TDR.

•Instead of staying up all night to write my paper, I decided to get some sleep instead. After sleeping for about 5 hours I woke up and pumped out 3 pages in an hour. Go me.

•Apparently whoever designed the fill-in PDF form for Visions 2012 didn't realize that DC should be an option for the State field in the prompt for a "Local Address." Or would that just be too obvious?

•It's been almost a year and a half, and I still can't tell you how I feel. I remember last january, how we met at that group training. you're awesome, and I'd be fine just being friends. I think that I would ruin that if you found out that you're the prettiest person I ever met. we've only hung out once, and if that's all I'll ever get then I'm the luckiest girl in the world. Even luckier than those women in Maryland who won the lottery.

•Our experience on Earth will never again be the same. It will die and we will die with it.

•AU's tuition is going to be raised about 28% over the next 4 years. YAHOO!

•I love it when vegetarians think they're so enlightened despite their claimed need for cheese. really? your reasoning behind eating dairy is because you love cheese?

•its awkward when a roommate complains about another roommate about the things they do! ha also. i hate it when you react to things. CALM DOWN ALREADY! ps shut up about the west coast. you aren't anything like the acclaimed "chillness" so stfu and move on.

•i love my roommates

•there was a candy bar, like a legit one, on the floor outside and i waited to see who would pick it up. hahahhh saw ya!

•what would happen if education was free?

•Hey there Love Crusader! Let me be your Space Invader!

•OH MY GOD GAIA IS THE FRIGG!!!!

•The amount of rustled jimmies in the eagle rants is TOO DAMN HIGH!

•I want to support the troops. But the way in which I want to support them is by dating one of them. Why does get a chance at dating a girl in the military or ROTC have to be so damn difficult?

•D-I-N-O-S-A... U-R a DINOSAUR. D-I-N-O-S-A... U-R a DINOSAUR. O-L-D-M-A-N... You're just an old man. Hittin' on me (WHAT!)... You need a CAT Scan.

•It's about time modern day women realize their place is in the kitchen. Good for you girls.

•Why I love being Republican... Family and girlfriend love me, do not have to take pills just to get through the basic rigors of life, do excellent in school in a major that will land a job in the future, and think that anyone including gender and race can fight to lift themselves up against all odds. My life is great!

•I hope people actually show up to the senate townhall tonight.....finally we have a chance to tell them what we actually want

Rant here!


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