[Editor's note: April Fools', everyone! Eagle Rants are NOT returning to weekly. This editor, whose lone April Fools' joke was said Rants joke, will be proudly posting every frantic Rant that responded to yesterday's prank. Hehehe.]
•Okay, seriously, everyone who couldn't figure out what SI meant is failing at life. It's called urbandictionary.com. Use it.
•OH MY GOD THE EAGLE RANTS EDITOR IS A CAT [Editor's note: What does this mean? Does this have to do with meowing?]
•I didn't really think that people could become more closeted at AU, but maybe that's why you studied abroad?
•eagle rant editor, i nearly DIED when you posted that you're going to do weekly rants...and then saw "april fools." [Editor's note: Muwahaha.]
•Goodness what's with all the depressing rants! Did everyone just break up or something? O.o
•Coffee or adderall? I'm ADHD and I need both to move from 'awake' to 'focused.'
•I miss welcome week
•Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it!
•mhmm I see what you did there eagle rant editor. trying to make us think our rants are going away, creating a scene of mass hysteria... can't fool me because I read the entire page of rants, including your little italicized note at the bottom citing april fools day. nice try though, snaps to you. [Editor's note: Gracias.]
•Only once a week for rants? BOO! We will riot! There will be blood in the streets and it's all on your hands Editor! Do you hear me?!? [Editor's note: Hahaha.]
•Eagle rants just got serious O.O
•Sex is the greatest.
•I can't believe I only have a few more weeks at AU! Eagle rants thank you for making them so much funnier! [Editor's note: Our pleasure!]
•Once a week rants. Editor, this better be for April fools. [Editor's note: Tehehe.]
•Where da f*ck is Mozambique??!?! [Editor's note: Africa.]
•Girls named Lydia should probs be ranted about more often...
•Hahaha that was a good one, my first thought was that all the people who whine about rants not being up deserve it. But im glad the editor puts up with it. [Editor's note: ; ) ]
•@Alone Freshman, I feel the same way! Maybe we can get lunch together sometime or something? I'd love to make a new friend :)
•Thanks to everyone who responded to my SI/boyfriend post! To the people who didn't know what SI was or initially made fun of it, I'm not mad - in fact I'm so happy to see how your opinion changed after you found out. People usually judge SI-ers. To the girl who said she has only told her boyfriend and he helped, how long had you been dating before you told him? Did you love him? I'm not sure if the time is right yet but I have been feeling like telling him for a while. - Original SI/boyfriend ranter
•WEEKLY RANTS???????? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :( [Editor's note: Gotcha.]
•8:55 classes everyday (8:30 on Wednesday)? That's a Now-Cipher, gawd.
•@99 problems: There's nothing wrong about being a prude. There's also nothing wrong with me having lots and lots of sex with my long term boyfriend.
•NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
•Well mother-wonking played, Eagle Rants editor. [Editor's note: *Wink.*]
•I've always been picky. I had my fair share of hook-ups and one-nighters -- but NEVER anything that would involve an actual commitment. Then I found someone that is making me think differently...and I'm afraid to have sex with him and ruin our connection. But I love having sex...what do I do??
•Nick Rangos, now that would've been an SG candidate worth getting excited over ;)
•I just dont care anymore. I just dont care.
•It's april fool's day, I thought the rants would be funny... [Editor's note: This editor's Rant was funny ...]
•What happens when you get a lot of opinionated kids with no social skills and they are free to run amok? AU!
•NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Wait. Wait wait. So that "April Fools." was to the whole, weekly Rants thing, right? Right? Okay, okay, you got me. [Editor's note: You win the award for longest Rant in response to this editor's "weekly Rants" joke.]
•Ah I see what you did Eagle Rant Editor. Touché. I wasn't fooled at all today, so thank you for fooling me. [Editor's note: My pleasure.]
•I can't wait until the April fools eagle comes out!! [Editor's note: One more day!]
•I used to SI too and I feel so alone... I think that's making it harder to stop completely but I don't want to tell anyone for fear that they will judge me...
•at open mic night in the Perch, there was this guy who played guitar and sang Free Fallin and it was amazing! I wanted so badly to talk to him afterwards but was too nervous... his voice was beautiful and I would love to get to know him but now it's too late..
•@"‘The good ones’ won’t understand you ‘waiting’. Unless you mean people like Mitt Romney/Rick Santorum..in which case you deserve that.", That's the most abhorrent piece of trollop I've ever read on the internet. My virginity has NOTHING to do with religious views like Romney's and Santorum's and NO, I do NOT deserve religious zealots like them.
•@ “I am currently dating said former OL. In other words you should go back to shelving your own book - That’s odd because she’s single…" HOOK A BROTHA UP
•I'm embarassed for the virgins here. Like really, really, really, embarrassed. At least we know masterbation isn't a lost art.
•Wait, who is this girl that had her name written on Nick Rangos's abs? Seriously, I want to know...
•@"Due to the ridiculous amount of work it takes to publish Rants each day, Eagle Rants will return to being a weekly event. Check back April 8 for the next round of Rants." Are you f-ing kidding me? Daily Eagle Rants was the best thing to ever happen to AU. And everyone loves it. If you're too lazy to publish them, then why not ASK someone else by putting up an ad saying "daily eagle rants poster wanted". I'm sure there are many students who would LOVE to post the rants each day. [Editor's note: Gotcha too.]
•I am not looking forward to binge reading the rants again once a week. Not cool eagle. NOT COOL!!!!! [Editor's note: This editor is running out of ways to "laugh" via text. Lolz. ROFL. Haha. Yeah ...]
•No more daily rants? W-T-F?!?!?!?!?! Why not give volunteers the chance before jumping to such drastic measures? Lazy bums. I have lost all respect for the eagle. [Editor's note: Someone didn't read to the end of Rants!]
•PROTEST THE END OF DAILY EAGLE RANTS!! [Editor's note: Woot woot.]
•I really want to kiss you but you would probably smack me
•OMG EAGLE RANTS EDITOR!!!! You definitely got me!!! I was about to cry! And even though I'm by myself in my room, I said, "nooooooooooo!!!" out loud. Good April Fools joke haha. [Editor's note: *Bows.*]
Rant here!
