•@"I have SO SO SO SO many meal swipes left..." PLEASE SWIPE ME INTO TDR EVERYDAY!!!! -hungry upperclassman with no meal plan and no money
•I REALLY have to poop but don't want to pack up or leave my stuff alone in the library since there is no one around to ask to watch my stuff. SO FRUSTRATING.
•I want to tell you that your ex boyfriend didn't cheat on you with "just some girl," it was me. But I also want to tell you that it wasn't consensual. But I am too scared to tell you, or anyone else. I am so sorry this happened, to both of us.
•So you always used to booty call me but now you don't answer when I booty call you, which is a bummer because I really liked having sex with you
•@"Where are the lesbians on this campus?" the dav
•goal before graduation= have sex in the library. any takers?
•@"Where are the lesbians on this campus?" women's initiative
•@"One day I'll like someone I agree with politically, but apparently that day is not today." Story of my life. I feel so much better knowing that I'm not the only one!!
•The Eagle should learn to stop editing the work of contributing writers when it doesn't have any grammatical errors. The editor completely mangled a key sentence in my article. [Editor's note: We edit any submissions for clarity, relativity, length and profanity, in addition to grammar and AP Style. But send an email to editor@theeagleonline.com, and we'll look into it. Also, this editor doesn't know who you are or what you wrote, but just wants to point out that Eagle Contributing Writers are part of The Eagle staff who have written a handful of articles; content submitted by members of the AU community to the Opinion page is not written by "contributing writers;" it's written by people who submit content and, thus, do not have the title "contributing writer."]
•Alright, half of the rants were about conservative women, liberal women, contraceptives, abortion- PLEASE, this is crazy. I know everyone wants to get a word in, but people want to read something different on their rants. :\
•Dear Editor, thanks for censoring my rant (but really), I wanted to take back what I said after I sent it in! [Editor's note: Anytime!]
•END OF THE YEAR SEXUAL TENSION. Glad to see I'm not alone in this one.
•I'm sorry I disturbed your mom last night on the quiet floor *raises eyebrows up and down repeatedly*
•LADY MARGARET! LADY MARGARET! A kindly bridge-troll let us in... SILENCE BRIDGE TROLL!
•HI PEGGY!!!
•Why do you even come here Papaya? No body likes you.
•Cucumbers have wicked souls...
•And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin, When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall, Then how should I begin To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways? And how should I presume?
•To everyone who responded to my postings of T.S. Eliot; thank you as your kind words really touched me (no joke). I wrote these parts of the poem as a sort of goodbye, as I was ready to end my life but much of what some have said have made me take another look at myself and to keep going forward. Thank you.
•No gorganzola on my turkey cranberry salad from the Tavern?!! Oh HELL NO!! THIS WILL NOT STAND.
•Our TA is making us pay for her services outside of her office hours. Is this right? Just wondering?
•WHY are the einsteins employees so slow!??!!? Seriously someone needs to give them a lesson on assembly lines. I'm not hating on the dining staff, I'm simply asking for faster service.
•If I could choose to be a lesbian, I would at this point. I've had too many bad experiences with guys lately.
•What is a Pitt bomb threat? Can someone please explain this? -confused alum [Editor's note: This editor thinks they mean the recent string of bomb threats at the University of Pittsburgh.]
•@ashamed to identify with AU feminists: I believe in equal rights for women. This means equal opportunity, not equal results. The whole unequal pay argument is ridiculous. Women get paid the same amount as men for the same work. All women on average make less than men because women CHOOSE (repeat CHOOSE) lower paying jobs (like teaching and social work) more often than men because women often care more about helping people than making bank. When Women’s Initiative constantly brings up this non-issue about “unequal pay” it turns away logical women who know basic economics and have common sense.
•discussion over meaningful top@”Stop posting paragraph-long rants that are more thought out arguments than rants...” STOP POSTING MINDLESS SENTENCES that are not actually well thought out arguments. Our community builds upon logical and intellectual ics brought to lights by these rants. Ignoring them or seeking to cease their existence will do our school a major disservice.
•@”I have SO SO SO SO many meal swipes left. Why am I required to purchase so many????” TDR won’t tell you this because they want you to spend much more money than you need to, but you can actually just forego buying a meal plan (after freshman year) and just use your credit card (or cash) to pay $6 each time you want to enter TDR.
•You can’t change biology. Women are the ones who have babies and therefore makes less money when they are staying home to nurse their babies and recover from giving birth. Trying to make women on average have the same pay as men on average is as stupid as trying to raise a fuss over how women on average have slower times in the 100 meter dash in the Olympics. -a true feminist who care about true issues that are negatively affecting females
•@”@Bullying Club @Editor - if I rant my e-mail to the bullying club person, and he/she rants his/her e-mail to me, would you be able to e-mail the two of us so we'd have each other's e-mails or something like that?” Dang, being editor is complicated. But this is an awesome idea. I bet future AU students will have this technology. Like where you could click a rant and reply to it anonymously and then the person who originally submitted the rant could look at all the anonymous replies and reply to them. Awesomesauce
•morning rants are da bomb
•@”I wish real life worked like facebook, where each person walks around with a friend button I can click on. There's so many interesting people I could be friends with if I weren't so awkward :(“ I feel ya. And why do people get weirded out if I send them a friend request when we haven’t met before. It’s saying “hi, I don’t know you but you seem interesting and I would like to get to know you.”
•@”Editor...please keep editing for content.” Ya censorship is a quality greatly admired in a journalist. While you’re at it, can you also please align all of our political views to the same side? Oh and don’t forget to add ‘all hail great leader’ to the end of each rant. Actually we probably should just get rid of the whole idea of free speech while we’re at it. Great idea ranter; You’re so smart.
•It's always nice to pay for a class where the teacher doesn't teach. Particularly an elementary mathematical modeling class where you have to find your own practice problems on the internet.
•@”What they promote is the idea that women CAN do those things if they want to. Just as women CAN wait to have sex until they are married” This is a very logical feminist position. If only the Women’s Initiative were actually this logical.
•P.S. Please pass me elementary mathematical modeling teacher, even though you can't teach...
•Editor: About how many rants are submitted each day that break the rules and are not posted? jw [Editor's note: Usually only a few. Depends on the day though. This editor can tell its finals season because Rants are getting angry!]
•Elementary Mathematical Modeling. You make math tutors angry.
•My friend just got engaged. She's had 4 boyfriends in the time I've been with my same boyfriend and my bf STILL hasn't proposed. Guys, how do I get him to speed it up and pop the question already? We're in grad school btw, so we aren't too young. And we wouldn't actually get married until we are both finished with grad school. So what gives?
•What are the roots that clutch, what branches grow Out of t his stony rubbish? Son of man, You cannot say, or guess, for you know only A heap of broken images, where the sun beats, And the dead tree gives no shelter, the cricket no relief, And the dry stone no sound of water.
•Soooo.... how about them Red Sox?
•Elementary Mathematical Modeling should not be offered as a course if there is no one to teach it well
•All of my rants about the SG are now going to involve references to the Spartan ephors. Thank you, Eagle, for this clearly appropriate metaphor.
•I like you a lot too. We wouldn't hang out with each other if we didn't like each other, so all it would really be is stating the obvious. Which I would do, except that I'm afraid it would be awkward...
•If you're a guy, Take Back the Night is about realizing how many people you know are survivors and how oblivious you were.
•Loving whoever it was that posted La Cage aux Folles lyrics. When the world spins too fast And your bubble has burst Someone puts himself last So that you can come first
•Love who ever posted Billy Joel lyrics!! #longislandgirl
•I don't want to be recognized as "feminist" or "anti feminist". I want to be recognized as a HUMAN BEING. Gender is not the epitome of the human person, it is not even the defining characteristic.
•@ Running at night is the best. YES. i try to run in the Tenleytown/Friendship Heights area every week. See ya at midnight?
•I'm disappointed at the Eagle for publishing so many misogynistic, anti-feminist, and victim blaming rants. I'm glad to be graduating and i won't be donating any money to this university until we stop validating rape culture though student publications. [Editor's note: This editor has been trying to promote peer education and let Ranters direct conversation instead of stepping in. This editor has tried to aid the conversation and provide definitions when appropriate, like by defining stalking and explaining Take Back the Night. This editor tries not to let her personal views stymie conversation, although that often causes her to cringe when reading some Rants. That said, this editor has worked tirelessly to ensure The Eagle covers issues of sexual assault and rape culture this year through extensive coverage of events like Take Back the Night and Don McPherson's speech on feminism, the appointment of Daniel Rappaport, the start of Men of Strength and other gender-based violence issues. This editor cares passionately about such issues and has tried to make that known throughout her tenure as editor-in-chief. (Now that the cat's out of the bag, if you don't read the masthead regularly and haven't put two and two together, this editor is soon to be former Editor-in-Chief Lindsey Anderson.)]
•I got on my computer today and soon after I decided that I would actually get some work done I thought, "You know what I haven't done today? Check Eagle Rants..."
•I wonder how many queefs happen during a Women's Initiative meeting...
•@more accessible birth control: YES! I second this until the end of time. I'm liberal but pro-life. I think there's a lot of problems to be fixed/steps that can be taken to prevent unwanted pregnancies before it even gets to the need for abortion. Divided, as the pro choice/life debate has us, we are far less likely to be heard or have our needs met than if everyone could unite for one cause.
•One day I'll like someone who likes me back, but apparently that day is not today.
•I'm a feminist who doesn't support abortion, and I would never take away anyone's right to do what they want with their body, but once you're pregnant it's not just your body.
•@correlation inst causation: agreed. I might even argue that it's more likely that these women are more likely to be sexually promiscuous because they're depressed (they want to feel needed, loved, etc). Not necessarily, but still. Which leaves the question: what's depressing women? Oh, I don't know, inequality and constant judgement, perhaps?
•@Secret underground lair: if there isn't already, we should find and claim one..
•to the ranter who started with "If you were my girlfriend" ILL BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND. I'm not actually desperate and I don't really want a relationship you seem like a genuinely nice guy, sometimes hard to find here
•To the lady who just called out a room of girls being too loud: rock on.
•@@where do Au students go to party? : "Sorry, AU students have better things to do than play beer pong. We’re out saving the world. What are you doing?" you make me facepalm. relax a little. enjoy life
•I'm kinda pissed at the Eagle for not covering the event my club put on in the Tavern last week... Also, you should teach your journalists not to tell someone their event isn't newsworthy. That is very unprofessional and wouldn't fly in the real world. [Editor's note: In the real world, someone would just not answer your email. Unfortunately, we simply do not have the time and resources to cover every event on campus. Thus, we have to prioritize.]
•Why are we friends when we are so fake to each other?
•I hate the fact that you are with your girlfriend although you say you hate hanging out with her. We have been hanging out for a while, either make a choice or stop flirting.
•I really hate you, but I'm still attracted to you. I just want to have crazy hate-sex with you all the time, everywhere. But I shouldn't, because you're a terrible person.
•@"Where are the lesbians on this campus?" the internet
•Lately, I've been going through some major life changes that include my 20th birthday, becoming a legal guardian of my younger brother who has autism, and having a severe allergic reaction that resulted in a brush with death. I don't know how to tell my girlfriend that these are the things that are bothering me because I'm afraid she won't understand or care. What should I do?
•Dear SIS, I'm "glad" that you're enjoying the use of the Katzen atrium. I don't mind the fact that I'm trying to get to class while you're all stuffing your faces, because I know how much you wish you had an atrium of your own. Oh, hold on a minute...
•Anyone else loling at how many times the guy who wrote the anti-Take Back the Night status is shown smiling and shaking maracas in the Eagle's video coverage of the event?
•Has anyone else ever heard of eating cinnamon rolls and chili together? [Editor's note: Whaaa?]
•I'm sooo excited to see the Wonk City music video.... but actually
•There is no support group for my issues. :(
•We were lying down making out. Things escalated and then he stuck it inside me. I didn't want him to, but it was too late to say no since it was already inside me and I was no longer a virgin. Since I never actually said no, this isn't legally rape. But I never said yes either. AU needs to do more to educate young people on the process of consent. [Editor's note: Just because you didn't verbalize "no," that doesn't mean it was consensual sex. And just because things started out consensual, that doesn't mean everything is consensual. Consent can be taken away at any time. A medical foundation in Palo Alto has some good information about consent here.
•I love you so much you have no idea. But I feel like I have to act like I'm not that interested so that you will keep chasing me and keep loving me. I really wish this game would end already and we could just relish in each other's love without all the insecurity.
•So my mom is going to visit my sister at college for her birthday. Her school is twice as far away as mine and my mother has never once visited me on my birthday (or visited at all). I wish I was adopted into a different family at birth bc my hypocritical mother disgusts me.
•How do I deal with emotional pain without painkillers or alcohol. And don't say therapy or yoga or exercise. Suggestions?
•Nick Rangos has the mustache of a God right now. Sure it's drawn on with sharpie but it's still sexy ;)
•"@where do Au students go to party? : Sorry, AU students have better things to do than play beer pong. We’re out saving the world. What are you doing?" Ha. Hahaha. That's adorable.
•Why is there still a gaping hole in the ceiling of the McDowell 3 men's bathroom? It's been 3 weeks since "repairs" (thanks 2fix!) and 2 weeks since "safety inspections." I happen to think that exposed wiring directly above a shower might pose a safety risk.
•I really really like this guy. He is so sweet and warm. Don't let me mess this up!
Rant here!
