We’re lucky that English doesn’t force us to always think about the world in terms completely framed through the binary of gender.
Nouns aren’t gendered, and we have the ability to think about individuals outside the constraints of a masculine or feminine adjective.
English does, however, have several major binary-inducing terms; girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife are all examples.
The English language problem of pronouns, specifically, is the way in which the majority of third person singular referring takes place in English. “He,” “she,” “him” and “her” are four words in which the binary of gender, specifically the way in which these words reinforce the binary idea that only two genders exist, enters into our worldview.
We can’t help it; it’s the way in which the language grew and developed.
But understanding that this binary is not the case when it comes down to a personal sense of self and identification, it is important to understand that there are other options when referring to individuals other than these gendered words.
The pronouns the majority of the population uses on a daily basis have been in English for at least the past 500 years. “She” and “he” show up in Chaucer, and even before then English has been subjected to the binary of gender.
Gender identification is the personal sense of self, regardless of the biological traits one is born into or the outward appearance one projects to the world.
This sense of self cannot be placed in the binary context of she/he or him/her. The choice of an individual to use a gender neutral pronoun to refer to themselves or others is declaring, linguistically, that they choose to reject this binary system and provide a place for the wide range of gender identities that encompass much more than man or woman.
A quick primer on some of these gender neutral pronouns:
These pronouns are all about personal identity, and they seek to allow a space in language for individual identity.
Just because an individual is projecting external qualities that society has deemed to be “feminine” does not necessarily mean that the individual identifies with the pronouns “she” or “her.”
A genderqueer individual, or any individual for that matter, can choose a pronoun that they feel best reflects their individual sense of self and personal identity.
There are several types of gender-neutral pronouns an individual can choose to identify with or use. One set uses “ze” or “they” for first personal singular instead of “she” or “he,” and then uses “their” or “hir” for the objective form as opposed to “him” or “her.”
Another possible set is the Spivak Pronouns. They drop the “th” off the front of “their,” “they,” “them” and “themselves.” So the singular subject pronoun would be “e” derived from the singular “they,” and the possessive adjective would be “eirs” instead of “theirs.” The reflexive pronoun “themself” becomes “emself.”
These words grant the space for personal identification of the individual and can refer to any individual without making an assumption based on their appearance.
There are, of course, other options available, but these two major sets cater to a larger audience and are more commonly heard in conversation.
An individual using these pronouns, however, cannot be assumed to identify as genderqueer. One can simply realize the situation created by English pronouns and choose to not make assumptions based on outward appearance and identity.
Advocates of these pronouns want to see this linguistic shift take place across society.
The usage of these words allows for a self-authorship; they give the individual a space in which to choose how they wish to be identified without the oppression that gendered pronouns can force on an individual.
Calling an individual “he” could place them in a potentially uncomfortable situation in which the individual then has to explain their identity.
These pronouns are not meant to be inflammatory, in fact, the exact opposite. They are simply a way of alleviating any assumptions, assumptions that themselves, are inflammatory.
A very special thanks to Matt Bruno and the GLBTA resource center for their help on this piece. Without them this author would be stuck in a sea of pronouns.
Morizio is a double major in CAS and Kogod.
