Rant here!
• AWWWW...Penis Butter
• The margin notes are not in the margin, so I can't actually read the paper, what am I supposed to do with that!
• @@”Please continue to judge everyone by things that don’t remotely affect you and have NOTHING to do with their personality.” Actually sleeping around is considered a symptom"- And if you ACTUALLY knew what you were talking about, you'd know that unless a person's habits and actions are affecting their, or another's, day to day life, they dont have a problem. But good try.
• @Am I overreacting?, WHY are you wearing sweatpants in public? I'd agree with your bf that you should dress a little nicer than that to go out. But if he also criticizes the clothes you wear around the dorm/ in private, that sounds controlling/problematic. -a girl
• To the ranters making Breaking Bad references, I want to sweet raw love to all of you!
• "you are an annoying sheltered virgin. Maybe if you stopped being such a control freak nerd..." It sounds like someone is a virgin in terms of emotional maturity. Apparently, you still have some growing up to do.
• @"Sweatpants wearer." You have to be yourself, do your thing, and stick to your own style. Keep on wearing sweatpants as much as you like. But if it would make your bf happy, it wouldn't hurt to dress nice every once in a while.
• I'm a global scholar, and I just want to say that nothing scares me more than a room filled with global scholars. Sh*t's intense...
• there's only one way to say those three words, that's what i'll do.
• i love you.
• if you don't like greek life, don't join. but don't judge those or insult those who did join. we don't judge or insult you for not joining.
• @”You’re going to die because you eat junk like Pop-Tarts and french fries,” Actually I don’t eat those types of foods. I eat all organic, vegan, no saturated fat foods, and I exercise each day. I choose to live a healthy lifestyle and do not appreciate people who selfishly release their toxic fumes into my walking path when they could just as easily get their high from a nicotine patch and thereby avoid harming others with their decisions. I try my best not to make decisions that harm others, and I expect the same respect from others.
• @why fat people are fat. It couldn't be because of thyroid disorder or because they don't have a lot of money and fattier, carb loaded unhealthy food is cheaper so they get stuck buying that instead of expensive fruits and veggies from whole foods...quit being such a jerk.
• @sleeping around is a sign of psychological problems. 1. or it's a sign that sex is awesome and people enjoy having it. I love having sex. There's nothing wrong with me. 2. Citation needed.
• @boyfriend doesn't like sweatpants. you wear sweatpants for yourself, not to look sexy. it shouldn't embarrass him because it doesn't matter. he sounds like a jerk
• The 3rd floor of the library is designated as "Quiet" for a reason. Will all the sorority biddies kindly shut the hell up while some of us are trying to work!? Concerned Student / Biddy Hater
• Why is everyone hating on the slut shamers!? I didn't know adultery was cool nowadays... (Yes it's not traditional adultery but it's all the same) I mean I guess I can go tell my girlfriend of 2 years that I'm allowed to sleep around because everyone else does it. That isn't right and neither is whoring yourself to every guy in EI. #stfu and #gtfo please and thank you!
• @TimMcBrideDelawareRant- I'm just glad you know it's a state. Proud to rep the state of our SG Pres, not so proud about that witch
• @ "Dear ugly wonk who hates smokers:" And that ladies and gentleman is what we call an ad hominem attack. Also some possible anger management issues.
• @”I can tell by the way you write that you are an annoying sheltered virgin. Actually I have plenty of sex with my amazing girlfriend, thanks for asking. But I’m glad you view your sluttiness and impulsivity as an accomplishment. And I admire virgins for waiting for the right person instead of giving it up at a trashy frat party. But I don’t even know why I am bothering to argue with someone who clearly lacks basic human decency towards others and doesn’t care if they blow toxic fumes at innocent bystanders.
• I'll be your candle on the water. My love for you will always shine. I know you're lost and drifting. But the clouds are lifting.
• AU might become smoke-free?? I might consider moving back from CA. (jk I like the weather here). But seriously... a lot of the colleges out here are smoke free and it's sooo nice. And no one is complaining. I don't care if you smoke-that's your decision and your health at stake. But I don't want to be forced to smell it.
• @“Smoking relieves my stress. It may be entirely psychological, but it does. So no, I won’t give up my one bad habit. Get over it guys, it’s just smoke!” No I won’t “get over” your poisoning nonconsenting bystanders with cancer causing, genetic mutating toxins. There are less selfish ways to relieve stress that don’t harm others. How about exercising, yoga, sex, masturbating, smoking weed, watching shows on hulu, playing board games, watching porn, etc?
• @"My bf of a few months told me he doesn’t like it when I wear sweat pants."... i can't tell if this is serious or not but if this is true, that's kindof a weird thing for him to say. if someone said that to me i'd be uncomfortable. i mean every so often dress up for each other, sure. but like. wear what you want.
• Does AU provide free child care for the children of AU students? Many schools do. I know AU has a children's center on the south side of campus, but I'm not sure if it is free. I don't have kids; I was jw.
• I think the smoke free campus issue should be put to referendum. Let the students decide. I have no doubt that they will make the ethical choice and vote for a smoke free campus. You know years from now our children will be horrified that campuses use to allow smokers. Just like nowadays we find it hard to believe that when our parents were young smoking was the usual past time on airplanes.
• Guys. Hot TA who's a grad student, I'm a sophomore. Anything possible there? Grad students, help me out.
• Eagle Rants Editor: Are you male or female? Jw so I could put your editor's notes in better context. I know the original rants editor was male. And then there was a female. And you are the third editor right? [Editor’s Note: I am everything.]
• Editor, are there going to be rants over break?? [Editor’s Note: Probably not. Maybe once on Wednesday]
• @“Smoking relieves my stress. It may be entirely psychological, but it does. So no, I won’t give up my one bad habit. Get over it guys, it’s just smoke!” If you are relying on a harmful habit to relieve your stress, maybe you would benefit from going to the counseling center to get the root of what is causing your excess levels of stress and how to find more healthy ways to handle your stress. Your primary way of relieving stress should not have to involve harming others. There’s free help out there waiting for you are the counseling center.
• @To straight female conservative republican: wow. People like you are the reason conservatives are demonized on campus and the epitome of what I dislike about liberals.
• I love sluts!
• who is peeta? and who is gale? and why do they have teams?
• Mainstream bands that should come to AU: Brand New, Anti-Flag, fun., Say Anything, Motion City Soundtrack, Vampire Weekend, WolfMother, Fostor The People. All these bands are relatively cheap to see, so come on SUB!!
• The girl always wearing a cap, brown-ish hair and a red backpack. YOU ARE SO HOT!!!!! And I really want to talk to you!!!!!
• So I hear Cartman Burger is coming on campus!
• @• Drop. Your. Sword. • It’s called a lance…hello. I love A Knight's Tale.
• @My roommate didn’t come home...played Mass Effect 3 until 3 am. I love this rant. I relate so much to playing video games late at night. Lol
• Gonna be on campus all Spring break. As dumb as hash tags are... #forever alone.
• @"dating five guys means you is a SLUT." - dating, kissing, and sexing with 5 guys at the same time may potentially qualify you as a slut...or just seeing what's out there. Who am I to judge?? Better yet, WHO ARE YOU!?
• AU students are good at making petitions and protesting ish. Where do all the smokers sign?? Even better, why don't we just congregate on the quad and have one big puff sesh?
• To everyone on the side of Kogod facing Hughes: Hope you enjoy the shows~ We'll be here all week. XD
• To the editor: You make my day with your comments, especially since you love Christine like I do too. Keep on being awesome. :]
• To the smokers: maybe a smoke-free plan wouldn't even be necessary if you actually listened to the 25 feet rule? Just saying, it's not that hard and could make everyone's life easier. Could even save you from dealing with a smoke-free campus policy. Hm, novel idea? Sounds like it to me.
• @"boyfriend doesn't like it when I wear sweat pants each day." Honestly, you should be able to wear whatever you want. I mean, it's nice to see your girlfriend in something cute or something "nicer," but he really shouldn't try to control what you wear. That's just silly. It starts with something simple like that and it can escalate into even crazier restrictions. But don't let me should on you. I just think that if you want to be comfy, be comfy. :]
• @Meet us at 6am Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays in the fitness center wrestling room. We won’t judge you, we will train you." -... what happens in there? Who are you people? Because I'm kind of interested in getting my ass kicked.
• @I agree about the Adele chick. She’s in my class and I want to play with her boobs. ---what class is this, i think i know who you're talking about
• @"5th week at the counseling center" Congratulations! I may not know who you are, but I want you to know that I am proud of you for your progress. I just went today for my initial appointment and I felt so relieved even after that. They are really great at what they do, and I can't wait for another appointment. I hope things continue to go well for you!
• @"its just smoke" are you serious, or just completely uneducated on this topic? its ridiculously carcinogenic, and while i couldn't care less if thats your habit (i have several friends who smoke, and i respect their choices), don't you dare belittle the risks involved.
• I'm sick of these e-mails from McBride about all the things his administration has accomplished when in actuality it is the hard work of many others over several years who have worked to get a victim advocate on campus. Why are the other people never mentioned?! You can't claim credit for others work and always get away with it
• Yo sexy business major in my art class, wanna get in my business this weekend??
• The rude way students treat staff/faculty/anyone-who-actually-has-authority makes me want to transfer to where people actually give a f*#k about respecting others
• @"Who doesn't want to see a little more booty?" AMEN! :D Nothing wrong with that, and besides, shouldn't we all be able to wear what we want?
• Oh boy! the SG dumped more tuition dollars into a Sexual Assault Prevention Coordinator! Excellent use of tuition money, especially since there are so many sexual assaults on campus as to overwhelm the existing resources for dealing with them. Just kidding. There are virtually no sexual assaults on campus and there are already adequate resources available.
• @It’s called a lance…hello I will fong you, until your insides are out, your outsides are in, your entrails will become your extrails I will w-rip... all the p... ung. Pain, lots of pain.
• You put the boom-boom into my heart You send my soul sky high when your lovin' starts Jitterbug into my brain Goes a bang-bang-bang 'til my feet do the same
• I wish I had started talking to you so much sooner. You are such a beautiful and unique person, and if only I had had a chance to get to know you sooner, I would love to show you so much more. But being your friend can be still be uber fun. :]
• @My Drunk Kitchen ranter: YES. I'm addicted to that show and that song. My roommate thinks I'm crazy.
• na na na na na na hey hey hey its spring break in a few days cheer up!
• Is it me or does everyone on the BOE have a stick up their ass? I mean, even if they were having sex they probably would still have a smug/serious face on and express no pleasure whatsoever...
• I swear I've gained five pounds this week alone. Stress eating ftw!
• Hey guy on crutches - sucks that you have to get around campus on those. Good for you looking incredibly attractive while doing so!
• Anyone noticed that orbit gun dissolves in your mouth really fast if you're salivating a lot? Good thing I don't have to worry about that at American University! (Get it anyone, anyone?)
• You've already won me over in spite of me And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are I couldn't help it It's all your fault
• @"Sleeping around signals psychological problems such as insecurity, neediness, low self-esteem, impulsivity, depression, etc..." Um, maybe some of us are just fulfilling our natural sexual urges and comfortable with our human sexuality? I occasionally sleep around and I am perfectly happy with who I am personally and sexually. I don't need anyone's help. You have no right to try to make me ashamed of that.
• We should ban anti-smokers at AU! It's bad for my brain to process such filth and unnecessary thoughts
• I really like the Kony bracelet though.
• Ok so I read the Hunger Games and enjoyed it. But guys, you need to chill out. IT'S JUST A BOOK
• I have to wonder, why is there no on campus river? I feel like my tuition should pay for such a thing.
• You lost The Game.
• @very excited The Wombats fan: !!!!! I am sooo excited they are coming back. I saw them back in October at the 930 club and they were amazing. I got VIP tickets, did you?
• @"Who doesn't want to see a little more booty?" Me.
• Let's be real, no guy looks at a Victoria's Secret model and thinks to himself "I wish she would tell me her problems, because I'm in love with her and I want to be someone she trusts." When it comes down to it, men like REAL women, so don't sweat the small stuff.
• GOAL: something will happen with me and a guy by finals. Only I can make it happen. Men: hi!
• @"Drop. Your. Sword." Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!
• Again, can we please put the Eagle Rants tab on the website on the LEFT side of the screen, so we don't have to expand the website each time we open the eagle website in order to access the rants.
• I don't know whether you think i'm just weird or crazy...
• @I blame the RHA for letting a 30 year old man enter the dorms. It's not RHA persey, I'd blame the RA's who don't bother looking up at the front desk when you walk in and offing public safety. This would all be so much easier if we just had freaking security cameras in the dorms like other colleges...
• @"Why can’t Eagle Rants be clever and contain basic English. I’ve read other schools rants (UNC-Chapel Hill) and they surpass us in ranting." I am 99.9% sure I know who you are, and you annoy the sh*t out of me. Go to UNC already if you really think the kids there are so much better than the AU student body.
• The next time I see someone say that AU is a politically active campus, I'm showing them the list of candidates for this year's SG elections and laughing in their faces.
• Lol, my friend originally made the Adele rant about me, even though I don't think I look like her at all. Some people disagree, but either way, it looks like we got a few Adele look-alikes around campus! :)
• @ "caught mysterious man in his 30s walking around" Was this on Southside? On the top floor of Letts/Anderson. Around... 11 or 12 o'clock at night on Monday. If so, that "30 year old man" was me. I'm 19. I was looking for a friend of mine. Sorry to be a burden.
• I wish I could drop out of school and become a pokemon trainer. That'd be cool. But God could have made pokemon real but instead was like "Nah man. Malaria." T_T
• if you werent so adorable we wouldnt be in this mess! how am i supposed to survive a whole week without you!
• I dont know if its that my AU goggles have become thicker OR that I've just finally found some guys that I am actually attracted too, but im loving my selection right now.
• To the guy that took god-like care of me when I needed it: you have no idea how much I appreciate everything, especially since you were a stranger to me.
• If anyone's taking Metro this weekend, do take note of the Red Line closure between Van Ness and Dupont Circle. You might want to save yourself some stress and take the N6 bus straight from campus to Dupont Circle instead.
• Hey guess what? Who I sleep with is none of your business unless I'm sleeping with you. Why do you even care? It has NOTHING to do with you. So why don't you focus on your own life instead of judging other people, because no one asked you.
• Where is Today @ AU and who thought it was a good idea to get rid of it.
• I am extremely disappointed in the American University community. Where are the AC fans?
• Why are you judging the quality of the student body by the anonymous rants people post when they're feeling bored/ frustrated and need to vent? Rants are a way to let off steam by complaining or being weird or random or crazy, not a way to accurately evaluate student intelligence. If reading Eagle Rants annoys you...then why don't you try not reading them?
• @Am I overreacting? I don't think so. Your boyfriend should make you feel beautiful, not frumpy and unattractive. If he teased you about wearing sweatpants a couple times, I would say let it go, but if he's really pushy then that's a problem. I can understand why it matters to him (I have certain expectations for how my boyfriends should dress as well) but he shouldn't be trying to control your appearance. In my opinion that's crossing a line.
• does anyone know anything about the AU running club? I tried emailing the club twice, but no one responded. does it still exist?
• to the people quoting Lost: i love the show, and admit to posting a few lost quotes myself. with that being said, please dont post the same ones over again. your just flat out bothering people
• so who wants to make love with me?
• AU email defaults the check-in for Alcohol Edu to the spam folder. Even gmail knows nobody really cares about it at this point.
• Is Women's Initiative doing anything to get a Plan B vending machine on campus, or are they still just complaining about how we live in a "rape culture"?
• Smile! Someone, somewhere cares about you!
• what's up with those black cars on the quad...? EAGLE do a tweet/story about this please!
• Eagle Rants Editor, you so funny [Editor’s Note: Thanks babe]
• Why do people care about other people being sluts? Or even use that word at all? It is quite derogatory to women everywhere and completely none of your business what a woman chooses to do with her own sex life.
• I live on hughes 5, I don't close my curtains and I'm generally always naked. You're welcome.
• I would be out on the quad right now,you know if wasnt allergic to grass or anything #goingtoschoolatanationallyrankedarboretumproblems
• Funny how the Occupy AU students protest a sitting Governor for being racist but don't protest a woman who was a member of the Black Panthers and was listed on the FBI's 10 Most Wanted list...
• To the D Chi who gave a flower to a girl on a tour Thursday afternoon: While I am flattered, you managed to pick the one person in the whole tour group who was already a student here to "welcome" to AU with a flower. I am actually a junior and was evaluating a new freshman tour guide. However, I do appreciate your attitude and I am keeping the flower.
• @"Drop. Your. Sword" -- STOP. YOU DIDN'T. I LOVE YOU.
• JUST TELL ME IF I'M IN ALREADY I'M DYING
• Super tall girl in my Calc III class that I'm too afraid to talk to, I Don't know how to tell you in real life, but you're really cute!
• ummmmm Katniss did not give the mockingjay pin to Prim... STOP CHANGING THE BOOK! This movie better not change too much else!
• Now I know you're not the only starfish in the sea If I never see your face again it's all the same to me...and I think it's gonna be alright, yeah, the worst is over now, the morning sun is shining like a red rubber ball.
• QUAD SO HARD MOTHAF***ERS WANNA FINE ME.
• Dear AU community, I'm sorry if I flashed you today. It was really windy and my skirt was really flowy. Love, A Biddy
• blew through an entire season of "the only way is essex" on hulu in one night instead of writing this essay. i can feel my brain liquifying right now
• brb on the quad.
• post the rants please kind editor sir! (. . .or ma'am)
• sweetie, if you want silence don't sit outside the mud box and don't tell me what to do cause im a freshman, i probably have more credits than you anyways.
• Ahh Eagle Rants withdrawal! Help me, Eagle Rants Editor, help me!
• To the biddies on the lower level: This area is for group study. I'm not raising my voice, and I won't be quieter. If this is a problem for you, the elevator is right over there--->
