I want to take a moment to talk about love, that ever elusive, ever-pervasive of all abstract human concepts that happens to be the bittersweet theme of this day.
Beyond the faux-traditionalism that accompanies all “Hallmark holidays” such as this one, Valentine’s Day also pushes us to reexamine love’s role and relevancy as a concept in our modern day and age.
While I could go on and on about how ridiculous and contrived this day is, my criticisms wouldn’t get at a deeper understanding of what it means to love and why we all, in some form or another, seek it so much.
So I wonder, is love really a meaningless construct in the context of our modern times? Or do we seek it even more as we feel its absence pervading all around us?
Unlike many of my politically like-minded peers, I refuse to perceive love as a so-called “bourgeois” construct. Their reasoning claims that love enables us to relish in our own feelings of self-importance, pride and jealousy, while fostering long-standing traditions of sexism and patriarchy.
Although I recognize this analysis’s validity to a certain extent, I reject the parallel drawn between all forms of love and bourgeois vanity.
Like most other abstractions, love can take on various forms in varying degrees.
Unlike the traditional bourgeois interpretation, I believe there exists a deeper form of love, which transcends such superficial narcissism and arrogance.
In this sense, it grows into a concept through which the self, as a purely self-interested unit, is dissolved and becomes a part of a greater collective, whether it is manifested through unity with another person, an entire community or even a greater ideal.
In releasing the self, love becomes perhaps the greatest liberator of all.
While I would never assert that they are completely synonymous, there has always been an interesting relationship between love and sex. Given the high concentration of like-minded, similarly aged people in the college atmosphere, the relationship between love and sex often demands scrutiny as we try to make sense of our occasional casual hookups and potentially meaningful exchanged glances.
The more time I spend immersed in the college lifestyle, the more I am pushed to reassess my views regarding sexual freedom, which increasingly seems like a solution and viable method of reversing historical patterns of patriarchy while undermining love’s former superficial interpretation.
Although I am hesitant to label mine as an argument for free love, I do see great merits in exercising one’s right to free sexual association and exchange.
Most importantly, such an approach requires a complete disavowal of possession over another individual while also promoting egalitarianism in the fact that this right applies to everyone — regardless of sex, orientation, or preference.
Just as there are varying levels of love, there exists varying levels of sexuality, sexual orientation and involvement in sexual activity.
In line with this view, the link between love and sex becomes an active renunciation of selfish ownership and traditions of bigotry. Although free sexual exchange may not be the best permanent lifestyle choice for everyone, its principles promote a unique blend of camaraderie and liberation.
We need a more progressive perspective and general approach to love and sex that is more aligned with our modern civilization’s advancement.
Thirteenth century Persian poet Mowlana Jalaluddin Rumi seemed to have a better grasp on it all than many of us do today. He writes in “A Moment of Happiness”: “You and I unselfed, will be together, / indifferent to idle speculation … In one form upon this earth, / and in another form in timeless sweet land.”
It seems Rumi was also accepting of love’s fleeting yet unifying effect, which pleases and inspires all of us as we continue to seek it.
In the context of our college experience, practicing and promoting sexual liberation is perhaps the best way to unearth some of the truths that underlie this captivatingly elusive concept.
