• Can we put the eagle rants tab on the right side the of the eagle website rather than the left. It's really annoying to have to expand the window each time when I want to click on eagle rants. Or at least make the format go "news", "scene", "eagle rants", "sports", "opinion", "incubator". Incubator isn't even really a part of the eagle. It shouldn't be before Eagle rants. I'm sure rants have 100 times the audience that incubator has.
• Why is it whenever I try to strike up a conversation with someone around campus (usually females) I basically get told to F off? Is it so hard to have a friendly chat, yes you're cute but that doesn't entitle you to have a ego the size of Jupiter.
• @How do you know you are in love--> yes everything the guy yesterday said, except for the fact that sometimes the significant other can be a lying, cheating, low-life sub-human that uses you for all your money and connections and leaves you feeling hopeless and broke. But best of luck to you!
• Jar jar binks is NOT the worst star wars character.
• TEXTBOOKS, Y U HAVE NO CONTROL F?!?
• @Fetishes - Apollo's belt. Mmm mmm MMM.
• I always hope some rants are about me, but I doubt they ever are.
• Komm, gib mir deine Hand. :)
• where do I take my date for Valentine's Day? I really am at a loss as I can't find a place that's close and in expensive
• A university in Pennsylvania just got a vending machine that dispenses the morning after-pill. Get on this AU!
• I miss Christmas! Is that weird?
• When I had a boyfriend I never felt like having sex. Now, I am single and I want sex every day. SO FRUSTRATING.
• @ Peg fetish. Where there is a dong there is a way
• Delt's pledge class is hot. I thought they were gay???!
• @"straight girls: how flattered/creeped out would you be" I would be so flattered and not at all creeped out in fact I might say yes, college is about experiencing right?
• I heart the Eagle Rants editor. Your snark makes the Eagle Rants that much better. I want your job when you retire, my friend, to let the legacy live on. [Editor’s Note: :D]
• I call it "HOT HAM WATER!"
• AU does have a med school, it's American University of the Caribbean School of Medicine and it's in the U.S. Virgin Islands.
• I wish I had some friends who liked the things I do. Like history, the military, working out, music, going places and NOT drinking. I can't wait to get out of here.
• ...did someone just rant about pork slap?
• I second the meeting of the gay/bi/etc girls!
• *2/7/2012... this is why one should never rant when they haven't slept.
• "So we have gender neutral housing, but not gender neutral bathrooms? Redic. I look forward..." Youre kidding right? This is the stupidest thing i've ever read. Besides, girls dont poop, so guys would feel uncomfortable lettin' em rip
• everyone complaining about the eagle and eagle rants editor are a bunch of wheener whiners. keep it up editor, haterz gon hate [Editor’s Note: Editin so hard ranters wanna fine me]
• @Mac & Cheese Wednesdays - I'm sorry, but you're wrong. Taco Tuesday is the far superior day.
• @Calf Muscle Fetish... Wait til spring, then sit on the quad. CALF MUSCLES EVERYWHERE... especially those boys with the frisbees. Dayum
• Honestly I would rather have someone use a urethral probe on me than go to another shift at the Phonathon.
• How about we just call "the pepsi girl" Hallie Eisenberg? She's beautiful and amazing on her own, has done more than just the pepsi commercials, and should in no way be shadowed by her brother. She deserves her name. :)<3
• To the person who wanted to talk about the Dharma Initiative, There's actually two of us, but you should buy the coffee. -Two Lost Addicts who love free coffee
• I want a hookup buddy that is not in greek life. I love going wild and crazy in bed... but I won't be if all the details are going to be told to all your brothers.
• Don't tell me what I can't do.
• "Real Talk: Is there a scale I can use on campus?" I second this request
• Would any of you ladies go for a curious girl?
• @person who thinks there should be a meeting of all the lesbians on campus: QWAC. COME TO QWAC.
• don't go on a date with her. go on a date with me.
• Is there a photography club on campus?
• To the person who ranted about the dude who touches his chest at the gym. You probably don't understand what it's like to have muscles because you stand around watching dudes touch their chests all day.
• I made eye contact with Nate Bronstein. highlight of my day for sure
• Dear cute blond guy I'm crushing on, where are you??? I haven't seen you since Saturday :(
• Do guys here at AU not like Asian girls? Why haven't you caught the yellow fever?
• I love crossing the days off my calendar waaayy too much.
• Come on Alpha Sig! You were kind enough to give the other guys on the floor bids, but why not me? I feel like i'm pretty close with a lot of you guys, and am disappointed that this didn't work out. nevertheless, i'll see ya this weekend ;)
• "Two sides: One is light, one is dark"
• @”If your goal in life is to be a stay at home mom, you don’t need a Master’s Degree. You can get the same education by reading books in the field you want to study, classes at a community college, etc.” Actually you can’t take graduate level psychology classes at community college. Or any graduate classes for that matter.
• I know you're having a harder time than you're letting on. I just wish I could take some of your unhappiness onto myself for a while, so that you could have a break.
• @”If your goal in life is to be a stay at home mom, you don’t need a Master’s Degree. You can get the same education by reading books in the field you want to study, classes at a community college, etc.” On that theory, a college degree isn’t necessary either. Or a high school degree. Neither is legally required. It’s not about being required. I desire it, and it would make me more educated and better person overall. And a better mother.
• Dear Anderson 4 North, A Just Dance Party?? Really??? Some people have class in the morning!!!
• @ MGC sex: been there, done that, several times. won't tell you where though, but it's highly recommended.
• @”I don’t think anyone is saying education is a waste of money or that mothers shouldn’t be educated. But grad school does cost quite a bit of money” Money is not an issue. But even if it were, I would gladly spend my limited money on a graduate degree rather than a new car or a vacation, etc.
• I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.
• @why go to grad school because you can take classes on itunes for free: I take online classes online for free too. But I’m guessing the ranter wants the self-validation and self-esteem that comes with actually earning a graduate degree. And like she said, if she ever did need to work someday, she would already have a graduate degree to fall back on (like an insurance policy).
• @”don’t they know we’re poor”. Actually many students are not poor. I for one, would love to add AU to my estate and give annual donations.
• @itunes over college: Then why go to college at all for undergrad? You can learn it all from library books? You don’t get it. It’s not just about the classes. It’s about the graduate school experience. Meeting fellow intelligent people who share your interests. Having challenging homework assignments. Getting grades and feedback from experts in the field. Etc.
• @fetish rants: I wanna have a threesome while my dog watches.
• @Gender Neutral Bathrooms. I heard that all of the bathrooms in DC were gender neutral. Establishments can still put up signs on bathrooms suggesting that they be for men or women, but they don't mean anything legally (whether or not this applies to the dorm bathrooms where people shower, I don't know)
• I'm done with women. Hello Catholic church, need a new priest?
• Editor, write an article about how we should take money away from SG and give it to Eagle Rants!!!!!..and you..maybe...
• @"terrible gaydar, and I just want a date" I'm a straight girl. I don't think I'd be creeped out, but I might wonder if I looked butch....
• @"Can we have Plan B vending machines like Shippensburg University does?" Yes pleaseee!
• To the girl sitting next to me in the library on the 2nd floor: you're really pretty and I wish I had the courage to talk to you...
• Dear Editor, I like that you post the rants in the evening! It gives me something to look forward to. Guys, if you wanna read in the morning, adjust your reading schedule to read the previous day's in the morning! The editor has a life and stuff to do too. -An Editor Admirer [Editor’s Note: Thank you. Because you were so considerate I’d like to apologize to you and only you for rants being extra late today. Forgot to do them before my late class.]
• @Person who ranted about the girl who wears Disney shirts... what class do you have with her?
• I love AU!
• @Rumor Has it feb 7th rant, yeah I like you, it's been a while and hope it's mutual. let's do something saturday. come by my room. or better yet tuesday, I still need a valentine, so won't you be mine? -your secret admirer [Editor’s Note: Get it girl]
• @"Senator Smitty Werbermanjenson": Even though you didn't get the name right (it's Smitty Werbenjagermanjenson), that rant still made my week. Sincerely, A Disaffected SG Observer
• I was a professional twice over, an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.
• We can have unlimited juice? This party's gonna be OFF THE HOOK!!!
• Annyong.
• Dear roommate, Please feel free to buy your own snacks once in a while too
• Today I saw how the workers at Einsteins spread the cream cheese on the bagels... they don't. Yay for $3 bagels?
• Who gave AU the right to ever get rid of Chik-Fil-A???
• "I know it’s horrible, but I really want to have sex with my best friend." It's not horrible at all.... I want to too, but I don't think she's up for it :/
• This weirdo in our lounge has been mumbling to himself for half an hour while everyone else is trying to get their work done. If he doesn't shut up, I swear I'm going to snap.
• I was stalking you and you pre-hipster pictures freaaked me out!
• WHY IS THIS SCHOOL SO EXPENSIVE. I'm just trying to graduate! Give a sister a break, AU!
• @Jar Binks is the worst Star Wars character ever: YES. Original trilogy ftw!
• Oh yay!!! Well, certain things are returning back to normal in my life, but other things are just becoming even crazier. Equilibrium, I guess?
• Tim McBride is totally adorable!!! Nate Bronstein's hot and all, but that doesn't mean Tim isn't cute too. :)
• Things that I didn't want to come back to my dorm room at two in the morning to see: my roommate's boyfriend, shirtless and with questionable presence of pants, in her bed with no roommate in sight.
• I don't understand the draw of Greek life, and I also don't understand the pledge process but I'm too shy to ask someone. Explain it please fellow ranters?
• I'm pretty sure I saw a mouse and my screaming disturbed most of my neighbors, sorry. I just really don't like mice.
• FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BRONSTEIN GIVE BACK THE FORKS!!!
• Someone should create an AU Memes facebook page. Lots of other schools have them. It would be great.
• @ Korean dramas ranter I have been experiencing the same phenomena all year!! Haha I'm glad I'm not the only one :) Can I ask which drama you're watching..?
• Tdr jams are back. They're just on at 7:00 am.
• This is the closest I'll get to telling you I like you, We met at orientation leader interviews a little over a year ago. You've continued to be such an asset to AU. I wish I wasnt so shy, and could ask you to just chill, even as friends. The years will continue to fly by, and I'll continue to wonder what could we have been, if anything at all? Keep being awesome. -probably in the friend zone, and that's fine by me.
• I REALLY wish it was socially acceptable to not wear pants in class
• @hard to convince yourself: I felt the same way my entire Freshman year, and it didn't help that 2 good friends ended up transferring. Just keep stay positive, don't let the negativity bring you down, and remember: the most vocal are the ones with the strongest opinion. There are still a lot of people here who really like this school, but don't go around complaining / talking about it all the time. JUST KEEP SWIMMING :)
• What is with all the hate on girls who mix business dress with sexy dress, as being in the 1% of AU (being a straight man) I find it liberating and empowering. (Psst... Not really, but maybe a lib will eat it up... like comm major lib.)
• kinda wish the GLBTA office had another A... A for Aesexual.
• The computers in the Anderson Lab are so slow, it took me 10 minutes to get to my email. I think I actually felt myself aging because of the slow speed of those damn machines.
• Folks, stop ribbing on the Eagle Rants Editor for the time of day that the rants get posted. Keep in mind that these were only posted once a week just 3 months ago. She probably has classes and homework and a social life to keep up with too. Lay off. [Editor’s Note: Preach!]
• I hate seeing you around on campus knowing what you did to me freshman year. I hate that everyone thinks you are so shy and nice. But I've never hated you.
• Rants on rants on rants
• Anyone else wish AU had a men's studies minor? Oh wait, they do and it's called "History"
• I am in love with a girl on the diving team...And she doesn't even know I exist... (Charlie Brown Problem)
• I'm a single, rich AU student. Would any girl like to go out for valentines day? Anywhere you want to go! Just somebody eat with me. :(
• I love you so much it scares me.
• I think we should have an AU professor appreciation day. My profs at AU have all been amazing. Both the full time and the adjuncts. I never knew learning could be so fun before I came to AU.
• @GW girl dating AU: Stop stealing our straight guys! We don't have many of them. They are a precious commodity.
• Why does everyone complain about TDR? It's good food, but if you don't think so, theres at least all you want to eat.
• PLEASE STOP SLAMMING THE DOORS!!! loud rude ughhhh just stop! it takes 5 seconds to shut it quietly. stop!!!! end rant.
• @Pepsi Girl ranter: She's Jesse Eisenberg's sister, not Mark Zuckerberg's.
• Dear Senior Who Hits On Me In Class-- You're nice and all, but you're not my type. Besides, I already have a boyfriend. So if you could just tone it down a little, I'd appreciate it. I think you're cool and want to be friends with you, but nothing more than that. Thanks, Freshman You Hit On
• To every member of WVAU, Learn how to use "reply" instead of "reply all." Sincerely, I don't care what you have to say.
• To the guy in my group, your intensity makes me scared of you but at the same time am so attracted to you. Your peer admirer
• We use to talk but then you stopped. I can't help but feel like you used me. But at the same time I would really like to talk to you again because I still think your interesting. Im setting myself up to get hurt again
• New Rule : Eagle Rants must be posted by noon each day. No exceptions. [Editor’s Note: You know, or not.]
• You are literally my dream girl. Why do you have to be my roommate?
• I used to really like you but now I think you're a total douche
• If you like me, you do a really bad job of showing it. If you don't like me, you do a really bad job of showing it. Pick a side!
• Hey editor, How do you like your wine? ;) [Editor’s Note: This is a dry campus.]
• I wish someone professed their love to me through a rant :)
• @person who wants AU to open a medical school. As someone who is pre-med, I don't recommend this. Although a DO program would be great, it doesn't fit the school and honestly we seriously do not need something else to be second (or third) at compared to the other schools in DC. Let's just stick with what we have. I will go to medical school somewhere else.
• if you go online and look @ the library of congress it says that you can have a MAX of 1,200 people at an event.. why did SG only give out 500 tickets?
• Kevin Sutherland saves the Jobs Board huzzah!!!
• Just because my parents pay for my education doesn't mean I don't work as hard as kids that are footing the bill themselves. I'm on Dean's list, have a part time job, am involved in multiple organizations on campus, and have an internship. I'm truly grateful for my parents' help, not some trust fund baby that sits on my ass all day.
• I am sick. I have work to do. And I want it all to go away :(
• "You're born, you live and you die. There are no do-overs, no second chances to make things right if you frak 'em up the first time. Not in this life anyway. Like I said, you make your choices and you live with them. And in end you are those choices." --Kendra Shaw
• @hot new senators, why would I ever tell you who I was. You're still hot though. I will be at senate though. See you then!
• washington college of lulz
• To the person who left a hot pink Post-it in the Women's bathroom mirror in Ward which said "you're beautiful": Thanks, it was a nice pick-me-up to the afternoon. Please keep them coming!
• Phonathon sucks lol
• This is ridiculous. Can you just let the rant accumulate all day and night and then post them in the mornings? [Editor’s Note: Just read the previous days rants in the morning?]
• I love going to this university, even with the awful WONK campaign, but I swear to God if we get one of those meme pages every university seems to be doing this week, s**ts will be flipped.
• The Dav is high on attitude and low on coffee.
• @eaglerantseditor. lets make babies.
• EAGLE EDITOR, Y U NO PUT EAGLE RANTS UP QUICKER?!?
• Next time...
• Dear mighty fine editor, I love you but these rant delays are just not working for me. Love You know who
• Must. Needs. Rants.
• Dear sexy editor, Where my eagle rants at? Love, Riggie Harlot.
Rant here!
