•I'm walking by and I see this protest about paying non-tenured teachers more. Last time I checked, given our terribly small endowment, students will end up footing the bill. So why weren't they chanting "hey struggling college students, give us your money"?
•SCV ready!
•NEVER PROMISE CRAZY A BABY.
•I just got sad when I saw how old Brad Pitt looks
•If none of your friends got Founders Day tickets, cancel your ticket so some of the rest of us on the waitlist can get in. Your name is on the ticket so you can't sell it anyway!!!
•....you're reading bugles?
•Am I the only one that can't figure out how to make the chairs in the library lower?? Usually there's a bar or something underneath the seat but I can't find it! -short legs help
•I'm SO glad my roommate is bitter, immature, and always in a bad mood. Oh yeah, and she knows everything. DO YOU WANT ME TO CLAP FOR YOU HONEY?
•@ranter about guys who hold doors: I love that as well! One guy I know holds the door for everybody, and generally he's such a nice person. Even as a feminist, it is nice to see some gentlemanly behavior every so often.
•The Office last night was ok, but it's really disappointing how stupid it is now. I had no idea how much that show relied on Steve Carrell. It just sucks now.
•There is something incredibly satisfying about seeing my rants publicly ranted.
•WHY DOES THE STUDENT BODY PRESIDENT MAKE MONEY?!?!?! DO NOT RAISE HIS PAY, LOWER OUR TUITIONS. fail au.
•Where are all the backpack buttons on campus? My friend and i would like some for our collection. Thanks!
•My childhood best friend de-friended me on facebook :(
•Gretchen, stop trying to make Wonk happen, it's not gonna happen!
•when the tavern has chicken wings i die of happiness. thank you tavern for giving me a wonderful lunch :)
•So rants aren't posted now if they are "mean". Wow, censorship much. Isn't the point of a rant to express frustration and blame (as long as no individual person is blamed). True rants are going to be "mean" because they are expressing annoyed feelings and blame. Don't be ridiculous Eagle. Censoring "mean" rants is far too vague of a concept. Go back to the original policy please. [Editor's note: There was never an original policy regarding Rants. Generally "mean" Rants are published; but sometimes Rants are submitted that are overwhelmingly hateful (although they are usually also racist, identify someone, violate other policies, etc.) so those are deleted. Rants are news content, and Ranters have other avenues, like Facebook or a diary, to express their annoyed feelings and blame, so censorship is not a concern of this editor.]
•@Editor. Yesterday's rant that said "Hey Hipster-Girl in my JLS-101 (TF 10:20-11:45), please stop coming" totally identified someone. I though you said that was against your policy. Yet you didn't publish my rant which was under 100 words, didn't identify anyone, and didn't use profanity. I am skeptical of what your definition of a hateful rant it. [Editor's note: Considering AU's large population of hipsters, this editor figured there was more than one hipster in this JLS class. If not, my apologies.]
•Nick Rangos's girlfriend is super awesome and pretty.
•To the newspaper box I assaulted Tuesday night, I apologize for any harm that may have befallen you. I was only informed of my transgressions yesterday...
•@Girls are cuter here now: I wasn't here three years ago, but I'm here now, and isn't that all that really matters? ;)
•@"there are huge cliques in freshman dorms". There are only cliques if that is the lifestyle you choose. There are hundreds of clubs on campus that aren't clique-ish at all. And you can meet people from all different dorms that way.
•Neil Kerwin, I want you to read our Eagle Rants so you know just how much we hate WONK, and that some of us would much rather see your face plastered on a poster board in the metro than another stupid WONK campaign. We love you, NOT the stupid stupid WONK. (But really, consider my "you-instead-of-wonk-on-metro-ads" idea because I think that would be so cool. AND WE HATE WONK!
•@keeping boyfriend from being bored: Be a gigantic tease. Give in eventually, but make it take a while.
•Lost forever!
•I'm still the best looking dude here
•Don't be a dick. It's not that difficult.
•When does the narwhal bacon?
•@wants 6 babies/planned out her fertility schedule. props to you and all for figuring that out, but 6 kids is A LOT of children and you're probably scaring the poor guy with way too much. A lot of people can barely think about having 1 or 2 kids, much less 6. dang.
•clark hall haters: dude, chill out. If maybe you came into the lounge and talked to us, you'd see we aren't so clique-y.
•So... I almost forgot that I had a DMS account until I got a message from a guy this morning. From what his profile said I'm really interested in being friends and hanging out but I still feel really really awkward in talking with people-- even over the internet. So, I hope he understands that my two sentence reply was a sign of interest!!
•I vote for Chipotle or Five Guys to replace McDonalds!!
•Why are the Feb 3 Eagle Rants so small. I have to squint to see them. Not cool [Editor's note: Sorry! This editor forgot an html paragraph tag. Fixed now.]
•I wish the tavern had a giant fish tank. It already feels like you're under water in there.
•@girl worried her boyfriend will get bored of her: Try doing things you know he enjoys. Partake in his hobbies. Talk about things that you know interest him. And sex. Lots of sex...
•OH MY GOD WE'RE HAVING A FIRE…sale
•He says he loves me when I ask him, but why can't he say it on his own without me having to prompt him. It makes me really skeptical that he actually loves me. I don't want to have to ask him if he loves me while I am giving birth someday or while I am in the hospital after a car crash. I want him to WANT to say it to me without me saying it first or asking him. Is this too much to ask of a guy?
•Editor: Define mean. If I say "my roommate is a narcissistic, slutty, alcoholic, hoe-bag" will this rant be censored? [Editor's note: Since it's not obvious who your roommate is, this Rant is fine. If it's combined with derogatory remarks, identifies someone, etc. then it's deleted. See above.]
•What if I just say "My life would be a whole lot better if my roommate failed out of AU and had to leave". Is that too mean to be published? What is with this artificial cherry picking of nice rants? Seems to defeat the whole purpose of "ranting" if we can't post "mean" rants anymore... [Editor's note: See above.]
•@xxx organization: This club sounds like it's for me. Where do I sign up? :-P
•Do girls here masturbate? I'm a sexually frustrated girl due to my LDR, but I would be so embarrassed if my roommate knew I used a vibrator (were I to buy one). Are there more discreet ways to masturbate?
•I do love you, but you need to step up your game and put some more effort into this relationship or I am going to start falling out of love with you.
•What is taking so long to make birth control over the counter? I am sick of jumping through all these hoops and spending way too much money to get my frikin birth control. Scientific panels say it more than safe to be over the counter, yet the doctor lobby wants to keeping sucking money out of you by making you pay for a visit to them and to get an unneeded pap smear in order to get birth control. Unbelievable
•I love how Women's Initiative ignores people's complaints and rants about their lack of doing anything to help real women's issues. Note: trying to convince the world that drunk sex is rape is not a real women's issue. A real women's issue is how the campus health center won't give you birth control unless you pay for a pap smear. Planned parenthood will give you birth control after a simple blood pressure reading.
•FOR BRITISH EYES ONLY
•Cute girls make life worth living.
•The person putting up Lost references and the person putting up Arrested Development quotes here everyday should meet.
•Uncle Kracker is my guilty pleasure.
•I'm glad to see AUSG is almost as dysfunctional as congress.
•Conservatives and libertarians are the only ones who are openly bullied here
•The girls arent cuter, your AU goggles are just thicker
•I recognize that the SG does some things that are important, but couldn't they do those things as volunteers? There are plenty of people who are running clubs and organizations on this campus who aren't compensated at all, so why should SG be?
•Fix the job board! Seriously, it has been a month. I will personally come down to your office, Kevin Sutherland, and stay there to help you until the problems are resolved. This should be your number one priority. DO IT!
•Chickens don't clap!
•I want to be a vegetarian, but beans make me fart, I'm allergic to tree nuts, and I'm not particularly fond of tofu. How can I get my protein aside from spending tons of money on protein bars? [Editor's note: Other nuts, milk, certain vegetables, protein powder/supplements?]
•Sun brie recipe, brine pie curse, epic beer ruins, bi creep's urine #ReincePriebusAnagrams
•@marry by 24: your bf changes the subject because that is a lot of pressure to put on someone so young. you're only in your early 20s! how can you support kids at only 25? live your life!
•What exactly is BDSM? Is it just sex mixed with pain? Like people who like to be hit during sex? I'm confused and didn't attend the session.
•I'm sorry if I don't smile. We just don't do smile to random people in NY.
•I need someone to cuddle with and watch movies!! I'm a girl interested in both sexes ;)
•How the heck do you know if a girl is gay??? I'm interested but not sure if I'm going to get shot down because she is straight!
•Clearly I spend too much time on Eaglerants
•Looking for someone to make-out with!! Preferably female
•@AUTO driving test. Same here! I took the test in October but nothing happened so I finally just emailed them. It took them another week, but they finally responded that I was certified.
•I have never seen my roommate brush her teeth!!!! I'm just going to pretend she just does it whenever I'm not around, cause she's pretty normal in every other aspects...
•real talk. I think you have a booger in your nose. Please stop trying to suck it up into your sinus cavity. It hasn't worked yet apparently, and it probably won't work anytime soon.
•Washington, D.C. Center of the universe.
•I thought the person I was sending a letter to was a girl so I called them "Ms." It's a guy. I'm so embarrassed. If anything screws me out of this job, it would be that dumb mistake.
•My fraternity is more of a sorority, to be honest - gossiping, whining, general stupidity..
•Other men on the bus: Yeah, don't think I don't notice you sitting your rump down with some poor lady forced to stand up. Man up, and stand up, and then give that girl a seat, it's a dying tradition that shouldn't be dying.
•Couple in my Econ course: You two would be a whole lot cuter if you weren't both insufferable douchebags. I'd say that could be improved with some sex but evidently I'd be wrong on that account.
•Dear Roommate: You do not need to take huge, desperate gulps of water like you are a horse dying of thirst that make your throat bulge out, drink your drinks like a normal human.
•Black Dolphin prison... Damn that sounds like the kind of place we need to deal with our criminals.
•I love my Disney Princess gummy vitamins. They make me feel special each morning when I take them.
•Why do you always feel the need to announce your presence when you, without fail, show up LATE to every class? How many times does the professor have to explicitly tell you he doesn't care and would rather you walk into class silently-- or better, ON TIME-- for it to sink in? Not cool, man.
•@person who wants to be married at 24, I Don't want to sound rude but can you blame your boyfriend for changing the subject? If someone told me right now that they wanted kids really soon I would be really freaked out. And I'm female!
Rant here!
