Editor’s note: Remember, Rants aren’t posted if they’re over 100 words, mean or hateful, identify a person who is not a public figure or use profanity. Keep it classy considerate, Ranters.
•Honestly, I'm sick of all these rants complaining about the way the SG handled the Founder's Day Ball, the same way I was annoyed with people complaining about Bill Clinton. Put yourself in the organizers' shoes! I have no doubt that the organizers spent many laborious hours ensuring that they could get the best outcome for all. And this is coming from someone who didn't get a ticket either.
•Dear Eagle Rants Editor: Sorry to burst your bubble, but the SG President gets $10,000/year, while the other three execs get $8,500/year. That's straight out of the latest SG bylaws. (The SG bylaws on their website are a year out-of-date.) It's still an insanely-high payout. [Editor’s note: You’re right. This editor spoke with Tim McBride yesterday and asked about his salary. It is $10,000.]
•I feel guilty identifying the idiot girl in my class as a "sorority girl" because I know there's many intelligent girls in greek life at au. it's just that the token moron girls in my classes - who ask obvious questions because they're "just so lost in this conversation" because they've been on Facebook all class - always happen to be wearing letters. hey idiot, get off facebook, this is basic information.
•Dear Roommate: I am reading and clearly focused on such, despite this you seem to not notice and instead start asking me questions and telling me about your classes. NOW IS NOT THE TIME. •Clark Hall DOES complain about everything, but the anger came mostly from receiving absolutely no notification of the removal, and then getting and email saying "You were all notified in advance."
•Dear Roommate: Just so you know, when you preface a statement with "I don't mean to brag but..." it's clear that you do indeed mean to brag, just admit it.
•I used to love 60's music, then an idiot who never used headphones entered my life and played it endlessly, over and over again. I want to jab a sharp object into my ear and hope that the blood pouring out doesn't get in my hair now.
•Without Mcdonalds, there's no place for piss poor people like me to get cheap, greasy lunch. Looks like its gunna be $1.50 bagel and cream cheese from Eagle's Nest erryday.
•What SG did is classic conservatism which is ironic because they're all Dems cronies. They played survival of the fittest, and made a 1% out of 500 tickets. Why not a less expensive venue, where more students can go, when it's undergrad AND grad? [Editor’s note: There are 575 tickets for undergrads and 100 for grads.]
•Do you not realize how many hours Tim works a week? And how much crap he has to put up with aka ignorant AU students? $8,500 is nothing espec with the cost of living in DC. [Editor’s note: See above.] I can be your wingman! Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up.
•I don't care for Gob...
•For the love of god Einstein's, why would you put ketchup on a pizza bagel?!
•guys holding doors: YES, I love this too! Even though I'm a feminist, all for women's independence, I really appreciate this kind old-school gesture. It really makes you stand out in my eyes ;)
•TDR jams - pleaseeee bring these back!! it makes tdr soo much more enjoyable to listen to the hiphop/rap/r&b stations that (i'm assuming) the workers their like to listen to. And i'm sure it makes handling all the annoying students a little bit better
•"That awkward moment when you meet someone from McDowell and ask them if they were one of the ones rumored to be having sex for all of Hughes to see, only to find out that they were not. Oops." I'm trying to picture this conversation (I imagine it taking place in an elevator). "Hey, are you the person I saw having sex?!" "umm..uh..no, definitely not." or: "yes, of course I'm that person! I'm so glad you recognize me!"
•@YOU ARE NOT ORIGINAL: We weren't trying to be. We just like ukuleles. Get over it.
•@”I don't come to Eagle Rants to read about people asking for advice.” Well sucks for you. Because the eagle has no anonymous advice column.
•You remind me that it's not so bad, It's not so bad.
•@”The definition of a rant is to "utter or express with violence or extravagance"”.Actually the definition of EAGLE rants is “Part PostSecret, part FML, part Twitter or part anything you want.” There is nothing saying they need to "utter or express with violence or extravagance". My favorite part of eagle rants is how students help each other our with great advice. Stop being so negative and be happy that your fellow students are so willing to help one another. [Editor’s note: This editor likes when students help each other out on Eagle Rants too. It’s nice.]
•@"I have no friends to sit with me at the commencement makes me miserable" Commencement is not mandatory. I didn't go to mine. And don't students sit in alphabetical order anyway? So no one sits by their friends. [Editor’s note: This editor is pretty sure that grads get to choose who they sit next to or at least the person they walk in with.]
•greek life at au is a joke so stop complaining and surrounding your life around it especially when you wont care about it in 5 years.
•Dear girl thinking you are so cool for complaining, as usual, about how much Tim McBride makes, get your facts right next time or else, go home.
•I'm all for equal pay, but won't unionizing for the adjunct professors cause our tuition to shoot up? A lot of students can't afford an increase in tuition. [Editor’s note: We’re working on figuring this out. Stay tuned for an update from The Eagle!]
•@"I'm never going to try anything they talked about, but I learned a lot about the people who are part of that culture." I couldn't attend the event, but I wanted to. What kinds of things did they talk about? What are the things you wouldn't try? -curious
•Dear students who got founder's day tickets but don't want to go anymore because none of their friends got tickets: Put yout tickets up for sale on craigslist. Problem solved for everyone.
•re: clark hall whiners. Dude, I live here, and I completely agree. People got really crazy about that fridge. It was kinda ridiculous.
•@"Can you explain why it's so important to you?" It's important for me to be engaged this year because I want to be married by age 24 so I can have my first baby at age 25. Fertility starts to decline at age 25, and I want to have 6 kids, each 3 years apart (because having kids closer together has been shown to increase risk of developmental disability). Yes I have explained all this to my boyfriend. He just changes the subject.
•My rant was under 100 words, did not name anyone specific, and did not use profanity. Why was it denied? [Editor’s note: Alas, this editor can’t tell which Rant is yours. But, if it has identifying characteristics (i.e., doesn’t say a name but says “the brunette on Anderson 2 South who is in xxx organization), it gets deleted too. Or if it’s just plain hateful and mean. Also, sometimes if there a gazillion Rants that •basically say the same thing, it gets deleted too. And sometimes this editor deletes a Rant that could possibly break the rules just to be safe.]
•I love you so much, yet hate you at the same time. How can you do this to me? You lost so many love points.
•I love my classes. And my professors. And my roommate. Life is good.
•@"Sometimes I think I'm gay in most ways except sexual orientation," same. Couldn't have said it better. Except for me it'd be lesbian...
•Where is the AU support for presidential candidate Gary Johnson? He's basically a younger and cooler version of Ron Paul who wants to legalize and tax marijuana and stop all US involvement in foreign wars. Garyjohnson2012!
•I want to know what the "Malicious Burning Event" in the McDowell elevator was! [Editor’s note: We should have a story with more information up by the end of today. Stay tuned!]
•Boy sitting next to me: Even though neither of us did the reading, there's no reason to stab me with the pop quiz instead of just handing it to me like a normal person.
•Oh Nick Rangos, when will you learn that we are still going to swoon over you, even if you have a girlfriend?
•Sometimes I think I'm kind of a bad person. But then I realize I don't care, which makes me even worse.
•Didn't get my founders day ticket... Now how am I supposed steal the book of secrets-king of the bridge
•@"you would have pretty good hair for a brunette" Seriously? I get that you don't like this girl's hairstyle but brown hair is beautiful. Don't hate.
•When are my Taco Tuesdays coming back? I can't afford to spend a meal swipe a day to be disappointed.
•Question: how does having an exclusive, 500-person-only event contribute to creating a sense of community at AU?
•Founders Day event description on Facebook: "The community of American University comes together to celebrate our shared history and sense of school pride." How does offering only 500 tickets to Founders Day possibly allow the entire AU community, which has over 9,000 students and 1,000 faculty members, to celebrate its shared history and sense school pride together? Riddle me that, AUSG.
•To everyone annoyed by the Founder's Day Ball tickets being sold out - as an alumni, I can assure you that: A) This happens every year B) The one time I went to the Founder's Day Ball the music sucked and it was completely lame, I left after an hour, and C) They don't serve alcohol. Seriously, there are way better things you can do with your night. And if you want to go to an actual nice formal event, I recommend going Greek or dating someone who is.
•@ "Is it just me or does some kids in Clark Hall complain about everything. They took out a broken fridge and you would have thought the stock market crashed." You're telling me. I live in Clark and it's getting old real fast. All it is is a hall of cliques, kids with sticks up where they shouldn't be, and whinny little kids. If I could leave I would. And don't get me started on my roommate.
•I hope you find my narwhal :)
•Romance makes my life sooo complicated, but I really like cuddling and sex :/
•@"There's always money in the banana stand" I love you.
•Will you be my valentine?
•@Town: yea, doesn't matter at all. It's a lot of fun!
•I really legitimately like Ron Paul. I'm also legitimately a libertarian. I should not be ostracized and bullied for these things. Come on, AU.
•I would love to know about this job, considering I was supposed to hear back two weeks ago.
•Today I came home to a super toasty room and Jawaiian music. All I need now is for the incessant wind howling outside my window to stop and life would be A-Okay.
•@ whoever put up the Lost numbers. you're awesome. enough said.
•@New Senator Admirer: reveal yourself.
•Dear fellow phonathoner who left gum on the arm of the chair in the corner. Gross. This job is miserable enough. Way to violate the unofficial code of the phonathon family. Jerk.
•MAN UP AND TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL OR I'M GOING TO MOVE ON.
•I think graduating seniors should have had the priority for the Founders' Day Ball! I can't believe 500 tickets were gone between in seconds LITERALLY!
•I wanna do bad things with you.
•Don't ever have sex with your neighbor...EVER
•I bet the McDowell lovers left their blinds open because they are into some weird kinky sex where they like to be watched. True/False?
•Is it just me or did the girls here get significantly cuter lately? Where were all of you three years ago?
•Hey Kogod, can you see inside the Hughes rooms from your classes? My blinds aren't always shut either #scandalous
•I'm so over this all this work I have to do and it's only february.....
•How am I supposed to watch Rugrats and Hey Arnold when we don't have the Toon Nick channel??
•Who is this mystery person Tim McBride is in a relationship with??
•I expect there to be hot chocolate in the Perch by the time it snows...
•Dear professors, Please understand that I am taking five other classes, not just yours.
•Dude in Katzen with the thick rimmed glasses and plaid shirts... Which one? You're going to have to be a little more specific.
•Dear various perfume-drenched girls: I don't know what your deal is, but in FIVE separate cases today I stood at least ten feet away from you and could still smell that overpowering stench. I understand your intent is to smell pretty, but you are burning my lungs. Please moderate your perfume use. Sincerely, an asthmatic.
•If anyone wants to cuddle with me this weekend, find me on lal.
•Hey Hipster-Girl in my JLS-101 (TF 10:20-11:45), please stop coming. You add nothing to the class. And although this might seem unnecessary because you're too different to read eagle rants, I just hope that other people in our class recognize how much you suck. P.S: Did I mention you suck.
•If your going to make a forty minute phone call anywhere on campus it should be on the silent floor of the library.
•@soft serve tdr has soft serve...
•Dear Anonymous Ranter, President McBride's significant other didn't get a ticket. I doubt any of his "cronies" did. Love, The significant other :)
•The SG prez - who works 40-50hrs/wk -makes $10K so students who need to earn an income can take the position without needing another job.
•Ayo blonde hottie @the info desk. When are you coming back?
•Not Penny's boat.
•AUSG JOB BOARD!!!!!!!!!!!! wtf.
•Clinton, Panera, Valentines, yadayadaya... am I the only one who noticed the AUSG Job Board's down? So f'ing outrageous.. POOR KIDS NEED JOBS!
•I still feel like I'm in high school. It's practically impossible to find a girl interested in you, there are huge cliques in freshman dorms, and nobody goes out of their way to say hi. But then again... it's probably just me being the one a girl wouldn't be interested in and all that.
•Can everyone whose friend's didn't get tickets and now are forced the go to the founder's day dance alone go together?
•How do I keep my boyfriend from getting bored of me? Any advice from guys would be greatly appreciated.
•Is AU going to make up some kind of phony award to give to Reince Priebus on Monday? Seems only fair. There's gotta be a cool award name hidden somewhere in all of the hilarious anagram jokes using his name.
•@Lost person wanting a Tarot reading. I have a deck, I'm not the best reader ever but I'd be willing to help!! •I cant deal with how many Bugles I've been reading.
Rant here!
