• @too many small boobs. I'm reppin the c-cups. Don't worry, we're here.
• Zuzu the zumba instructor makes me question my sexuality.
• Hey Spanish Kids in Class. Stop loudly talking on your phones. We don't care. Go Away.
• Hey Dance Team. No one wants to see your butt crack. Also, what the hell is a Hollaback Girl? It sounds like some sort of foul disease, something that you get and can't lose. [Editor’s Note: This rant is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.]
• Who is N Bluth?
• MISTAH F [Editor’s Note: This rant is for British eyes only]
• Well I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona...
• How much could a banana cost? 10 dollars?
• Luce! That costs more than your house! Oh, that's how we joke, she doesn't even have a house!
• @"What is a biddy" They have this great new tool called "Google." Check it out!
• Why wasn't my rant posted about the sexy zumba instructor who makes me question my sexuality? It mentioned her name, but that's a really big compliment. [Editor’s Note: Scroll up]
• Precious, I'M HUNGRY. You plannin' on puttin' some food in that frying pan?
• @[Editor’s Note: Don’t you, forget about me. Don’t don’t don’t DON’T] First Almost Famous and now a Simple Minds reference? **true love**
• Alright, so you're a boob guy who is disappointed in the large small-chested AU population. But as an A cup girl, are all guys like this?? do no guys like smaller chested girls?
• Why does every guy on campus have small dicks? Did y'alls have to fill out a dick size application when you applied to this school and did they then rejected every 7-inch and longer?
• I used to be a rant, but then I took an arrow in the knee.
• I feel left out. I didn't get the e-mail from student conduct.
• @@@@ ex ruined me: sweet! Want to meet up at Mudbox this sunday? How does 3pm sound?
• @boobs: Way to simultaneously offend most of the student body. As a female in a long term relationship, it's about what you do with what you have that counts. Quit hating on size- society does enough of that, no need to butt in. Besides, don't you have the internet for those C and above cups? Use it and quit ranting. Love, someone who hopes no female ever has to deal with you and your attitude
• EXCUSE ME, I have big boobs and am proud of them! Why don't you look around, you may see more cleavage than ya think ;)
• @NYbagels. Try Bethesda Bagels! They're the best I've found
• DAMN YOU EAGLE SECURE, Air il'e yoshmotak (fyeaharabic)
• ... You meant the cabin.
• Wow Eagle Rants Editor, you actually uploaded the rants before 5 pm. Looks like I owe someone a nice seafood dinner. [Editor’s Note: Don’t worry about it, I do it for the love of the game]
• @"I guess I just got lucky?" You sure did. Who was your doctor or nurse practitioner? I have tried multiple times both at the AU health center and at home in Boston to get birth control without a pap smear and they wouldn't let me.
• @"If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?" People are made of meat too. We should probably start eating them as well. Come to think of it, babies have the highest proportion of meat. Death is so yummy! [Editor’s Note: This is a most immodest proposal.]
• @”What we're saying is that to spend over a hundred thousand dollars to get graduate degree (who's only function is to advance someone in the professional world) is nutty.” Well I think spending money on designer purses is nutty. If your purse can carry your s*** then why spend more than $10 in it? Education is the most admirable thing a person can spend money on. Please get your priorities straight and stop criticizing someone for wanting education.
• When did we become a culture that discourages someone from going to graduate school? For the record, I think the ranter who wants a graduate degree even though she doesn’t need one is extremely admirable. Is only the rest of the population thought like her, think how educated our society would be. If everyone had graduate degrees, I doubt we would have voted for politicians (of either party) who put us in 3 wars, murdered the environment, and drove the country deeply in debt.
• I agree that Joe Debouis is the perfect husband. If only I could find someone like him at AU.
• If the government says pizza counts as a vegetable, then I'm definitely getting my 5 servings of vegetables a day.
• @”What we're saying is that to spend over a hundred thousand dollars to get graduate degree (who's only function is to advance someone in the professional world) is nutty.” You do know that for centuries women have been going to elite colleges and then immediately becoming stay at moms, right? Educated mothers raise more educated children. BRAVO TO THE GIRL WHO WANTS A GRADUATE DEGREE BEFORE BECOMING A STAY AT HOME MOM. Bravo for wanting more education. And bravo for devoting your education towards the betterment of your children.
• @What is a pap smear. A pap smear is then the doctor stick a giant tool all the way up your vagina so it can clip some cells of your cervix and examine them for cervical cancer and/or STDs. It has nothing to do with birth control, but doctors try and tie them together so they can make more money off of you. Be glad you're a guy and don't have to worry about getting pap smears.
• Women's initiative is such a joke. All they do whine about how we live in a "culture of rape" rather than acting on ACTUAL issues that can help women.
• @"Don't tell me not to get drunk; tell them not to rape". That's like saying, "Don't tell me to lock my doors at night; tell them not to burglarize" Don't be an idiot. If you binge drink around strangers, expect to get "raped". Learn some responsibility. You weren't taught about the dangers of alcohol every year of school your entire life only to ignore them. You knew the dangers when you decided to binge drink. Don’t expect anyone to feel sorry for you.
• @”What we're saying is that to spend over a hundred thousand dollars to get graduate degree (who's only function is to advance someone in the professional world) is nutty.” I think spending money on a sparkly rock to show the world you love someone is nutty. And it supports a demand for sparkly rocks which incentivizes warlords to exploit children into dangerous labor. No one is looking for you to justify their choice in how to spend money.
• Editor: When will the anonymous advice column be released?
• @”What we're saying is that to spend over a hundred thousand dollars to get graduate degree (who's only function is to advance someone in the professional world) is nutty.” Actually it’s “nutty” of you to think that the point of education is to make money. Not everyone lives to serve the corporate gods. Some people have plenty of money and choose education for the sake of LEARNING and becoming a more interesting, cultured, educated human being.
• I'm a girl and I never delete my history after I watch porn. You shouldn't be ashamed of such a natural thing.
• Way to walk out.... Your less than meaningful apology didn't cut it either.
• Just woke up hungover for the fourth day in a row; no fuqs will be given today.
• @”@person who needs a roommate from 2/12” are you currently a freshman? I’m still looking!
• To all those who are against the adjunct union: I'm glad you don't respect workers' rights and want our tuition going to administrator salaries instead of our own professors who are being paid poverty wages
• The next person who tells me that I am selfish for being a woman who doesn't want children is going to get PUNCHED IN THE FACE. IT'S NOT SELFISH TO NOT WANT CHILDREN.
• For the first time I thought I was okay about it all. But you just smiled at me today and looked attractive as always, and I kept staring and thinking about you...and you caught me in your net again... How do you get over the fact that you fell in love with someone that didn't even like you more than a friend back? And now you aren't friends at all? I'm falling back down again :-(
• I am a brony. And damn proud of it.
• To the douche who is complaining about smalll boobs. Seriously, are you that shallow of a person. Please go and do all the imaginary girls that you will never ever get.
Rant here!
