• @"I can't stand my Arab Societies class. I love the U.S. and our military..." YES! Idk if we're in the same class (because we haven't really talked about this), but the class sucks. The readings are so incredibly biased, as well as the discussions that I want to strangle everyone.
• I hope you realize how much I love you. You're the best friend I've ever had. We cannot date anytime soon, it wouldn't be healthy for either of us. But let's get married one day and be happy together forever, k?
• @@My ex ruined me: No, I don't think so. The girl who screwed me over went to a different college. And yeah I know its a process. Also, if your single, want to meet grab some coffee? (if you are a girl...if not, um...thanks for the advice!)
• @Dear Editor...A Frequent Rant Reader - You're kidding, right? Here's to hoping you have an excellent sense of humor and are being intentionally sarcastic with your "u"'s and incorrect use of English grammar.
• "[Editor’s Note: I AM A GOLDEN GOD]" Loveeeee the Almost Famous reference :)
• My physics exam was horrible I guess I need to study like 18 more hours next time
• @ "am i wrong to be mad at him?" yes. yes you really are. and i sincerely hope that you don't also expect equal rights for women in the future, because while i am personally all for it, people like you shouldn't be allowed to hold both values
• there has to be more Game of Thrones fans out there!! the show is amazing and should have won the Golden Globe for best series
• My Dear Confusedly Empty Handed, Reevaluate your idea of social standards, my sweet. If you want something, talk about your plans before hand and make sure you’re on the same page of what’s going on in your relationship. And yes, you are wrong to be mad. If we don’t want double standards for women, why hold them for men? If you both want to celebrate something, mention it and get something for each other, not one of the other! Equality is key! Xoxo
• I think I'm just going to start pretending that some of the nicer rants are about me just to boost my self-esteem. [Editor’s Note: They are about you. All of them.]
• OMG! How many OUTSTANDING HOBY alums are there here?! Both my roommate and I are alums from '09!
• Whoever is having sex in Anderson 6 North's female shower and leaving their condoms, please stop. You have a room. He has a room. There are a thousand other places to have sex. AT LEAST CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELVES. And floormate, I highly doubt a floor meeting would have any effect; they know what they're doing's not okay, that’s why they’re doing it. Not sure a meeting would accomplish besides everyone agreeing “omg that’s sick!!!” and denying doing the act. …who the hell has Valentine’s Day sex in the communal shower?
• @5 meal swipes says that Eagle Rants will not be posted until after 7 tonight. They were posted at 6:52. Pay up. Signed, A Hungry Rant Reader
• I sorta feel bad for the Perch people who constantly tell me that there isn't hot chocolate. But then I remember that I want hot chocolate...
• we finally had a conversation sober, and i got so excited to just say hi to you around campus. except now i never see you anywhere :((((
• Weren't we supposed to have a spring concert? like last year I remember Ce-lo green coming to AU. I'm assuming its not happening this year? and if so why?
• @person angry about library DVD collection: The library actually is funded largely by donors, so it's not your tuition money going into it. Additionally, most publicly funded libraries in the United States today have some form of DVD collection that extends beyond educational films and that's coming out of tax money but it's helping the general public save a ton of money annually by not having to pay to rent or buy films as well as upping circulation statistics. Get over it.
• Why am I nice to the douchebag?
• Dear male ranters, I need your help! When you watch porn on your personal laptop, do you delete the history/use an incognito window? I looked through this guy's history (for something different) and there was no porn! It seemed a little weird! xoxo, curious girl
• I like LOST.
• Can someone please replace Eric Cantor, Paul Ryan and Kevin McCarthy's "Young Guns" with the Young Guns on the 3rd floor south side of Letts?
• "Phi Sigma Pi got an awesome batch of baby lambs this semester! We love you baby lambs!" I swear to god I read that as "baby limbs."
• ONCE AN EAGLE, ALWAYS AN EAGLE!
• Dear SG and The Eagle: You could just ask us to, you know, turn it down. Much love, the ridiculously-loud-hallway-speaker-abusing radio kids.
• @I Hate Feminists; whoa, whoa, whoa. What? Yes, there is a reason that women make less than men: it's called institutionalized sexism. With the vast majority of jobs, especially office jobs, it makes no difference whether you are male or female. I was raised by a stay-at-home dad and a working mom: yes, it is possible for a mom to "do it all."
• Eagle Rants are currently running significant portions of my life. Y U SO POWERFUL, EAGLE RANTS? [Editor’s Note: I’ve got the power]
• @Movie rental hater: I'm sure they have a process for going through suggestions and don't blindly purchase ANY movie students suggest. Also: They don't have desperate housewives. I just checked because of your rant.
• Phi Sigma Pi. Just stop.
• @"I started working out recently because I'm getting pudgy..." Don't give up. By any objective standard, I'm in great shape, but I still feel fat and weak, and focus in on what's wrong with my body. That feeling will never go away for you (nor should it; you should always want to improve). But if you keep pushing, you will find that OTHER people notice a lot less.
• But all I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya.
• @Health Center that makes women get Pap smears before getting birth control: SERIOUSLY. You're not even supposed to start having those before you're 21 at the VERY EARLIEST. Ugh.
• Who actually reads these rants and stops to think that somebody is writing about them? Get off your damn high horse, you're not that special. Btw, I had to learn that I wasn't special the hard and awkward way.
• @person talking about their love of military. There are actually a fair amount of countries without military forces...clearly states can survive without it. I'm not anti-military I'm just saying...
• I understand some people might be allergic to the AU soap, but where my gross roommate lives, we can buy our own soap. But she doesn't, and she doesn't lather UP. I hope she gets a serious case of pink eye (BOTH EYES) for her serious failures in hygiene. Or maybe the Plague. ICK!!!!
• @I’m pretty sure you caught my rant. ... I'm pretty sure you are not him, but if you are, then I agree. I feel it too. And if not now then when? I wonder if the responses to posts like this are ever the person they were actually meant for.
• "I was working in the darkroom, and now I have some Tears for Fears stuck in my head. ? There’s a room where the light won’t find you…?" Another Tear's For Fears listener I see. I tip my hat and raise a glass to you sir. Jolly Good Show. But that song is one of their three more well known songs. Surely you've listened to more than just Everyone Wants to Rule the World, correct
• @ Mad at your boyfriend for not getting you anything - Yeah, you shouldn't be upset. You sound kind of ungrateful and/or like you don't care about the relationship itself. I mean, gifts are awesome. Don't get me wrong. But why would you be MAD about it? Isn't your mutual like/love of each other enough?
• L-U-V Madonna? [Editor's Note: I don't wanna]
• I wish we had loved each other at the same time.
• I know you ranted about me the other day. Here's a secret; I rant about you every day.
• @ "Did u get her name?" just first name :( thanks for the advice, I'll try to find her on fb
• @ "did we exchange first names?" yes, towards the end of the alpha sig party, in the basement. if u know what I'm talking about, id love to meet u. if not...take comfort in the fact that we're both going through the same thing
• I'm getting really sick of this chick who keeps posting "AU kids suck" statuses on their FB. Just because you don't like it here doesn't mean you should belittle the AU community who is happy with their choice. If you really think you're too good for us, then transfer already instead of b****ing incessantly about it.
• There's always money in the banana stand.
• Why don't more people come out to support our basketball team? We're D1, one of the best teams in our league (currently 2nd place), undefeated at home this season, and tickets are free! Also making the NCAA tournament isn't out of the picture of this season. Let's get some school spirit up in here! Feb. 23rd we play home against Bucknell. They’re undefeated this season and if they win they set a new record for patriot league consecutive wins so let’s stop em!
• This is a BIDDY SCHOOL. I am interested in forming an alliance with the nonbiddies. I know there have to be more of us out there, but I need help finding you guys :(
• Some phrases should never be uttered. Let alone said repeatedly in actual conversation.
• lost my phone at a party last weekend and I JUST WANT IT BAAAAAAACK
• What qualifies someone as a "trust fund kid"? Are these kids talking about like a couple million, tens of millions? If not, you shouldn't be bragging because it's sure as hell not Mitt Romney money.
• "I'll have a vodka tonic" "Mom, It's 8am" "...and a piece of toast."
• Skills? You mean THESE KINDS OF SKILLS
• A guy in one of my classes looked familiar, and I finally figured out why. One time I found his profile through a friend and stalked all of his study abroad albums. I am too creepy... FML
• I know for plenty people it isn't about age but is it likely that a senior would date a freshman?
• @movierentals: At least it discourages illegal online viewing of movies/tv shows.
• I wish everything could go back to the way it was freshman year, but we've all changed now and life will never be as fun and carefree.
• @"@person who needs a roommate from 2/12" are you currently a freshman? I'm still looking!
• You are the most confusing boy ever! When I don't talk to you, you wanna talk to me.. But when i see you first? Noooowaayyyy. Noooo connection. Boy, we made out. We established a connection. So connect.
• @future doctor saying people who use birth control are sluts: I feel sorry for your future patients. Your complete lack of bedside manner (and basic common knowledge of birth control) will lead you to many future law suits. Have fun being a doctor for a year before you license gets taken away.
• @"If you went to a gynocologist they'd make you get a pap smear before giving you a prescription, too. The only way around it is if you're a virgin…sorry." Actually they require virgins to get pap smears too before getting birth control.
• @"If you went to a gynocologist they'd make you get a pap smear before giving you a prescription, too. The only way around it is if you're a virgin…sorry." Actually you can get around it by going to any planned parenthood. Nice try though.
• @"Disgruntled Future Doctor…" Seriously? How did you get into this school? And you think you're going to go to medical school. Ahahahahahahahahahahaha
• Actually I don't need anyone inspecting my vagina I before agreeing to give me birth control pills. Std tests have nothing to do with birth control (the minute risks for birth control are cardiopulmonary, and last times checked blood pressure was not gauged through the vagina)
• @future doctor rant against birth control: This sounds like the rant of an angry virgin. Who will no doubt still be a virgin at the end of medical school.
• how can I check how many meal swipes I have left??
• I HATE the MGC/Butler elevator. What genius decided to put only one panel of buttons on an elevator with two sets of doors?!? Don't mind me as I climb over 17 people to press my floor since of course no one does it when I ask from the back of the elevator. RUDE.
• Why am I graduating on Mothers' Day? I'm gonna be a hot mess fussing about graduation and getting there on time, but all I wanna do is take my mommy out for brunch. [Editor’s Note: Your mom will understand, and brunch will be less crowded the day after Mother’s Day anyway :)]
• I have a litter of man-puppies following me around, and although I've whapped their noses with the I Won't Date You Gazette, they just keep slinking back to cower by my ankles. GUYS, you put YOURSELVES in the friend zone.
• Dear Roommate: Does it not actually occur to you that randomly waking me up from sleep at 4 in the morning to ask me questions about international politics is really inconsiderate or are you just a jackass?
• @Dear Annoying Person in my Econ Class: How dare you stand in front of me taking up our professor's valuable talking about weird, useless "philosophy of economics" crap that is a straight ticket to waiting tables at Olive Garden when I had a REAL question about class content. I'll remember you.
• Perhaps an attic shall I seek...
• I've been so happy lately.
• Rangos, please stop being so attractive, it's driving us ladies crazy. K thanks ;) #notserious #yourehot
• Professors, could you please stop making assignments more complicated than they need to be? A 1.5-2 page paper shouldn't require a minimum of five sources. Cut us some slack here!
• ughh I seriously could not be worse at ruining potential awesome relationships.
• Question to the editor: What exactly is the rule with regards to names? For instance, if I mention a common name, like Mike or Taylor, would the rant not be included? Because in those cases, it wouldn't be obvious who I was addressing. Thanks for the clarification. [Editor’s Note: It’s really just a matter of if I feel like you’re identifying the person too much. For example “hi Mike” is OK, but “To Mike whom I met at blah blah blah I hate you blah blah” isn’t going to fly]
• To the ranter who quoted Lucille Bluth: you rock.
• Actually birth control prevents people from having an unintended pregnancies and then having abortions. As a wannabe future doctor, it's sad that I have to spell this out for you.
• @ “Future Stay At Home Mom Getting Graduate Degree Argument: WTH is up with all these self hating women. If a man was getting a law degree but planning to be a stay at home dad, everyone would be like WTF. Because it’s a women and we’re somehow inferior, however, we encourage it.” This rant is poorly written so I'm unsure of your thesis. But society praises stay at home dads for being progressive and family loving, but stay at home moms get scorned. Sounds to me like feminists committing women's oppression against woman who don't confirm to their agenda.
• If you are anti abortion you should be for easier access to birth control. If you are anti cancer you should be for easier access to birth control. If you are pro woman you should be for easier access to birth control. And if you are anti medical corruption and abuse of power, you should be for easier access to birth control. There is NO LAW requiring a pap smear before allowing you to have a birth control prescription. End the unnecessary barriers to reproductive health
• At rant or promoting censorship: if u find a rant boring, skip over it. Better yet, if u think the rants r so awful, let's hear your amazing rants. Don't have any? Didn't think so. Now stop complaining.
• @evil future doctr: As a future doctor u should be all for remain obstacles to birth control. Many women are too embarrassed to get pap smears (because they are virgins) so when they finally do have sex they get pregnant and then get abortions. I get satisfaction knowing that u will never pass your medical school interview with that kind of warped thinking.
• @”Dear Editor- Could u please stop being so lenient with ur Rant selection? I don't care when u post rants, but when u do, please make sure their quality. There's been too many days full of sub-par or repetitIve rants…I trust u can do much better than this. Thanks. -A Frequent Rant Reader” Editor please ignore this rant. Do not censor rants. I'd rather have poor quality rants than censored rants any day.
• Actually I am a virgin and I want birth control to regulate my periods. It’s not fun being surprised by periods and then having to get blood off my tights and leotards. All of my virgin friends take birth control too for various reasons (cramping during periods, to help their acne, in case they ever do want to have sex, etc). Please don’t stereotype people especially when your stereotype is so completely wrong. Your stereotype would be laughable, except for that fact that you want to be a doctor, which makes it scary that you actually think that.
• The doctors (both on campus and off campus) just want to make more money off you. Birth control LOWERS the cervical cancer rate. It DOES NOT put you at risk thus requiring pap smears to check for cervical cancer. Why not give colonoscopies before giving out birth control prescriptions? Colon cancer is MUCH more common than cervical cancer.
• AU should be doing everything it can to ENCOURAGE birth control. They should not put up barriers like getting a pap smear. Yes, this isn’t the case just at AU, it’s with most doctor’s offices. But AU has the power to STOP the health center from committing this unjust practice.
• When intruders are entering student dorm rooms while they are sleeping, stolen laptops should not be AU's only concern...Other crime, of a violent nature, could easily take place. AU needs to take pro-active measures now. Let's not wait until something horrific happens to a student.
• Hey Eagle Rants Editor, if you actually post the Eagle Rants before 5 pm, I promise to take you out to a nice seafood dinner and actually call you the next day. [Editor’s Note: I accidentally read this too late :(. Tomorrow?]
• That awkward moment when you have rainboots but generally choose to wear them on days it isn't raining, and still wear regular shoes on days it rains...
• @Women can't "do it all" like men: Wow... I actually don't know what to say to this... So sexist.
• The biochemisty boy with the long hair is very cute :)... Anyone talk to him????
• REALLY AU Student conduct??? An email about maryjane to try and threaten us? I can't take this passive aggressive BS. You're not gonna stop me from enjoying a natural product of the Earth. I'm careful about my consumption but fo real prohibition needs to end!
• I desperately want to bleach and sanitize everything you have touched in the past two days. Did you not realize that you were contagious? Thanks for leaving your barf within a five foot radius of me and for not washing your hands. (Yes, I was listening for the sound of the faucet running.)
• I am begging you to leave the room. For once. Spending literally over 22 of 24 hours EACH DAY in the room is not healthy and, quite frankly, annoying!!!
• My female friends fantasize about sleeping with a professor while I fantasize about sleeping with my boss. Power dynamic much?
• Damn the new SigEp class is hot as hell
• There is no need to do pap smears before giving out birth control. If you want a pap smear, great. If you don’t want one, then doctors should not be allowed to hold the birth control hostage until you agree to pay $100 and get one (or a $30 co pay depending on your insurance). It’s a lot of money for someone on a limited college student budget.
• @future doctor calling people who take birth control sluts: I’m a 24 year old law student virgin (female) planning on having sex with my bf of in a few months. Birth control takes a month to start working, so many if not most people who get birth control for the first time are responsible virgins taking the precautionary steps needed before becoming sexually active.
• @crazy future doctor: Most people on birth control are in monogamous and committed relationships. Learn some decency and common sense before criticizing. I shutter at the thought of you being a doctor one day.
• And at last I see the light And it's like the fog has lifted And at last I see the light And it's like the sky is new And it's warm and real and bright And the world has somehow shifted All at once everything looks different Now that I see you
• Actually there NO LAW requiring pap smears before getting birth control. Planned parenthood doesn't require pap smears before giving you birth control because they aren’t concerned with profiting off of your womanhood.
Rant here!
