• YOU ARE TEARING ME APART EAGLE RANTS EDITOR! Also, I love you. [Editor’s Note: It’s tearin up my heart, when I’m with you, and when we are apart, I feel it too.]
• Dear girl in my class, I'm sorry and pretty offended that you think that people believing in the Bible and Genesis are "crazy." I guess that makes you smarter than two billions of crazy people, almost a third of the inhabitants of this planet. If you ever feel like becoming tolerant, maybe I won't feel the need to rant about you anymore.
• We do have an AU Memes pages. People need to add images.posts to it!!
• People whining about rants need to stop. The Eagle Editor is unpaid, they just do it because they like it. Would you like it if half the rants were about how slow you post rants? I'm sure the editor has an important life wit other things to do.
• Someone made a tumblr of AU memes last year but hasn't updated it in a long time. There's a few good ones on there.
• @I call it “HOT HAM WATER!” This soup is so watery! With a SMACK of HAM!
• @"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." You didn't have to. Just come back.
• Everyone ranting about love, or someone you like, or having sex, etc: it better not be him, cause I still love him.
• To all the people who demand that the Eagle Rants be posted in the mornings: there is one Eagle Rants editor. Calm down and be considerate to a person who has a relatively difficult job.
• Thanks boo. Love, Riggie Harlot.
• I’ve looked into the eye of this island, and what I saw was beautiful.
• Hey you. Yes, you. You are beautiful, and I hope you have a nice day.
• @AU has a med school - excuse me what? get your facts straight.. I guess that means American University in Paris is also AU, right? uh, no..
• Sitting next to Rangos right now in RHA assembly!
• Is it bad that even though I have a boyfriend, all I want to do is have sex with other guys? Im simply not satisfied and require the extra meat!
• Things are so good at AU that half of the rants are about the timing of the rants?
• Hopelessly in love with a gay guy... Had to be at AU!
• so today i checked my mail and found out i got something from my high school. turns out they sent me a little "valentine's day" candygram package. it's defs gonna be all i'm getting for valentine's this year...LOLOL #singlesappreciationday
• Dear Editor, I write your pay checks. While I do find the delay in posting Eagle Rants an effective strategy in keeping people waiting coming back to our web page...I personally would just like it if the rants posted automatically. That way I can follow a conversation between two ranters in less than a week. PS-- I still think you deserve a pay raise. [Editor’s Note: Where are these paychecks going after you write them?]
• I like you....like, like you, like you. Sorry I'm so terrible at showing it
• To the boys that mooned me through the window in Leonard: Lets be friends. From, the girl who mooned you back.
• Girls named Fiona are sexy. More importantly, they also have excellent personalities.
• If Nick Rangos wasn't the Preisdent of Anderson, I don't know what I'd do :(
• @ pick a side, I'm sorry you feel this way. you're intimidating. just come ask me. I know that's easier said than done but please do it.
• Dear centennial 5 RA, do you read eagle rants? is this the absolute worse way to find out? xoxo your secret admirer
• So much RHA drama :(
• @"'I know it’s horrible, but I really want to have sex with my best friend.' It's not horrible at all…. I want to too, but I don't think she's up for it :/" As the original poster, I am going to pretend you are the guy I wrote this about. I say we should both go for it.
• These LOST quotes are killing me. Can we start a LOST club on campus to quote and discuss and wear Dharma jumpsuits? Sincerely, One lonely LOST fan
• jeepers creepers, is it the new trend to be really angry about when the rants come out? I check them compulsively too, but I don't write OMG WHERE ARE MY RANTS every time they aren't there...
• My mother told me having me was a nightmare. I'm currently a law student at AU. I have gotten straight As my entire life. I'm involved in many clubs and community service programs. But now I have a drug habit because I always hear her insulting and condescending voice in my head each day. I wish I had some support. I wish my self esteem wasn't too low to make friends.
• "@Pepsi Girl ranter: She's Jesse Eisenberg's sister, not Mark Zuckerberg's" And Jesse Eisenberg played Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network... It's a joke by the way. If we call her "pepsi girl" I can call her brother a name from role he played as well. Also: maybe she doesn't want to be referred to as "pepsi girl" her entire life.
• So has anyone else had sex while their roommate was in the room?
• Dear cute blond delt guy, sorry I'm such a spazz, I can't help it, I'm crushing too hard.
• @"We use to talk but then you stopped. I can't help but feel like you used me..."If this is who I think it is, then I would advise that you get over him. Please spare yourself the pain and stop hooking up with him. Sorry but he will never actually be into you.
• To previous ranter about Photo Club: I don't think it's going on this year, but I'd love to start it up again!
• To the sober girls who hook up with drunk guys There is something wrong with you.
• @Why no yellow fever? Maybe they caught a case of the black plague instead :P
• If the dav workers are going to act so bitchy and pretentious they should at least be able to make my drink in under 45 minutes while they're are it.
• Dear Eagle Ranters, The editor probably has class and work like the rest of us and doesn't have time to post rants every hour of the day!
• I hate that despite my help you are still well on the path to going getting kicked out of the university. You're a leech and when I dare to let you fatten yourself off my blood so that you can survive, you just keep sucking.
• I know my roommate loves Star Wars like I do, but I hate my roommate. In order to keep Star Wars pure, I'm ditching you when I go to see Episode I with some friends. Cheers!
• Late night library makeouts: let's make this happen.
• @ no Asian fever: Asian girls are amazing! Just when I see you, you're surrounded by 10 other girls and you are all speaking in a different language. Possibly intimidated much?
• There's gotta be some way to find hookups without partying, right? My sex drive is way out of sync with my drive to party.
• Person who requested someone profess their love to them: I love you. I've always loved you ever since I laid mu eyes on you all those years ago. Our lives never connected but I yearned for them to be intertwined. You're a passionate, loving soul and I yearn for your heavenly embrace. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you my love. Satisfied?
• I'm embarrassed.
• I think it's time to get divorced now, mister.
• @the person bashing gender neutral bathrooms. Gender neutral bathrooms make the trans* bathroom experience a billion times better because no one tells you that you're in the wrong place. quit being a closed minded fool.
• @person who wants someone to eat with for Valentines Day: I'm down.
• Keep in mind, some lesbians/bi girls don't go for butch girls. I'm into more femme chicks myself.
• Dear Single Rich AU Student, I wouldn't mind going out with you. Not because you said your rich, but because you sound like a nice guy. Please don't prove me wrong and turn out to be a douche. Sincerely, Interested in You
• So... procrastination till 3 in the morning and then deciding to just turn it in late... Fail
• Come on, I don't want to be in the room while you swag swagswagswag bra bring-ding-ding your girlfriend!
• @”I know you're having a harder time than you're letting on…” If this is directed at me, which feels pretty selfish to believe, then I’m sorry, I can’t. Worse things have happened to better people, have happened to me, but I don’t think I’m comfortable talking about this yet. In case you’re thinking it’s because I don’t trust or depend on you, just know you’re pretty much the only one I’ve told. Like, at all. So don’t worry about that thing. I know that ‘by the time the bar closes, and I feel like falling down, you’ll carry me home’. [Eagle Rants: This was exactly 100 words... Well played.]
• RIGGIE HARLOT
• It was great to see you again and avoid the awkwardness. Acting like an adult actually does have perks apparently.
• Hey guy in Kogod who can't take a hint, it took you a semester but I'm glad you finally understand I'M NOT INTERESTED.
• Dear god, why was there a protest/shouting match in the amphitheater at 7 AM this Friday?
• @ "She's Jesse Eisenberg's sister, not Mark Zuckerberg's." No duh.The person said it because Jesse was Mark in the Social Network.
• Zeta Psi's new pledge class has some hotties. me gusta
• Actually, high school and college degrees aren't necessary, I mean sure, there's a social stigma against high school dropouts, and I can appreciate the whole "college experience" thing, but in the end, unless you are going into a field that requires higher education (law, medicine, education, etc) then it's not necessary. Life is full of stepping stones that lead to your ultimate life goal, and if that life goal is to be a stay-at-home mom, it seems like you're taking a lot of extra steps
• I am the Eagle Rants editor! [Editor’s Note: Impostor!]
• I also fail to see how spending what little money you have on a graduate degree will make you a better mother. Having one baby is expensive, having six kids is really expensive. You would rather spend $60,000+ on grad school for a degree that you won't even use in the professional world, when you could use that money for a house, diapers, groceries, a new van, or a family vacation. Sounds pretty selfish to me. Your kids won’t care if you have a masters degree. They’ll just want you to be their mom.
• Guy in my Critical Whiteness class, why are you sooo damn cute?! I really want to talk to you but dont have the courage yet
• McDowell Residents: If you happen to see me dancing by myself in my room in Hughes, please kindly refrain from laughing. Also: Enjoy the view. -Happy Hughes Dancer
• It is NOT my turn to buy toilet paper!!!! CLEAN UP YOUR CRAP, IT'S EVERYWHERE AND IT'S GROSSSSSSS
• My roommates not 5' yet and she's sitting at her desk coloring... I didn't realize this was the second grade...
• Housing and Dining.. I want my housing lottery number!! /sigh/
• Dear Anderson 6 North.. GIRL'S SHOWER... I was showering at night and midway I looked down... and SURPRISE! I spot an used condom. LIKE ACTUALLY. Thanks for the midnight surprise.
• Sorority biddies in the corner of PCR, please stop making harsh comments, giggling, and ragging on other students/ the professor. You're distracting and you look bad... • Oh- and you definitely shouldn't be doing it in letters.
• Do not order the Skip's Scramble
• Portugal? Gonna live it up in ol' South America, aren't we?
• Chicken Fingers...WITH CLUB SAUCE.
• Lady - Why wait until the last day of school when I can make you happy now?
• @"I wish I had some friends who liked the things I do. Like history, the military, working out, music, going places and NOT drinking. I can’t wait to get out of here." This Sunday, 4pm, Ward Lobby. We'll mainly have shaved heads.
• It's Friday night. Know what that means? FIVE HOUR STARCRAFT MARATHON OF DOMINATION!
• As an incoming freshman fall 2012, how was I completely unaware of the huge gay population?! Not a problem, just... damn.
• HAHAHAHA let the housing lottery rants begin!!
• President Rangos, I want you realllllll bad
• "I've looked into the eye of this island, and what I saw was beautiful."
• So there I was, in the library working diligently while playing white noise on my headphones to help me concentrate when someone comes up to look for a book on the shelves next to mine. If I can hear her music over my white noise, there's a problem here.
• I wish I was that angry bull, and I could blow steam out of my snout-thing. That would make this frustration so much more satisfying!!!!! >:(
• so many people are applying to be the PA of my UC. ugh, I need that 3k.
• Listen to The Flaming Astronauts.
• "I don’t understand why so many people hate on AU. I love it here and it makes me second guess my happiness when everyone around me is complaining." because you didnt work hard enough to get to a better school
Rant here!
