Women are attracted to washboard abs. They just are, practically all of them.
I could include some disclaimer that I’m referring mostly to straight women and that I can’t say ‘all’ about anything (suppose I just did), but let’s be real. To claim the eye candy that is Brad Pitt’s “Fight Club” body is not something women salivate over is like denying you picked up the paper only for the Rants (and me, of course).
I shared this thought matter-of-factly a couple weeks ago at our Men of Strength Meeting.
I didn’t anticipate a controversy, but I might as well have stated, “Murdering puppies can be fun, but only when done in moderation.”
Immediately, I was put on defense, swatting away criticisms from my friends in the group. Feminists ain’t no monolith I tell ya.
Many of our discussions focus on the manipulating process of socialization, through which we learn and acquire our norms and values from outside sources.
For better or worse, we’re constantly encountering signals that betray our inner instincts. Whether we succumb to them or not, we should always be aware they’re lurking.
Not only do I believe women fawn over six-pack abs, I don’t think they individually can control it. It’s innate, and only countered through the manipulating process of socialization.
For example, take military training. Most recruits who join the forces aren’t blood-lusting sadists. In fact, studies like the one by S.L.A. Marshall have demonstrated that, historically, many soldiers never fired their weapon directly at an enemy.
Not until recruits are inundated with rigorous training, normalized violence and an emphasis on “shoot first-ask questions later” have troops been able to overcome their aversion to taking another’s life.
Think about it this way, if people were so innately violent and killing others was natural, why go through the indoctrinating process of training men and women to be killers?
The only way commanders can get their troops to comport with their abhorrent expectations is by countering human nature through socialization.
The power of socialization is grand, and I don’t contest its efficacy. In fact, my larger point was not about women liking six-packs. It was that, increasingly, women are starting to claim (startlingly) they don’t like abs, as a result of this incredible power of socialization.
Take a cursory glance at popular sit-coms and you’ll find plenty of shows with an out-of-shape husband or boyfriend. With few exceptions, the women remain svelte and sexy. Shows like “The King of Queens,” “Family Guy” “According to Jim,” stuff with Jason Segal, etc.
Initially, I thought this was awful for men. Why do men have to be portrayed as overweight knuckleheads, constantly outdone by thinner and wittier wives?
But the more I think about it, the more I find it exonerates rather than confines men.
The men who write these shows are a clever bunch. They’re enabling men (probably not unlike themselves), who otherwise have no shot with a stunning female, to have the best of both worlds. They get to remain pudgy and disheveled and still hit the aesthetical jackpot.
Their heftiness is depicted as endearing. Watch these lovable lugs long enough and they’ll wear you down and you’ll see past the rolls and lethargy. A little beer gut is cute, right ladies?
Stop nodding. Cut it out. You’re missing the point.
Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but I think this pop culture is used as a ploy to render this inequity between the sexes trite.
A deliberate byproduct of these shows is that women accept men for their flaws, while women remain flawless. This is all cloaked in the “laudable virtue” that women are not as shallow as men, but the end result sounds like Ka-ching! for the average out-of-shape bloke.
And somehow, it’s working! I’m astonished by how many of my (girl) friends remark that a fit body is unimportant. I know their male crushes don’t feel the same. And it’s a tad dubious they inherently do either.
I’d call that a double standard, one that some women are gullibly embracing. Women can seek a man with a great body and mind; they’re not mutually exclusive. Women shouldn’t settle for this restrictive, complacent narrative.
My innate nature senses it’s bull.
