Let’s conduct a thought experiment. Think for a moment about all the ways you protect yourself from sexual assault in your daily life. Go ahead, take your time.
Fellas, already done? Ladies, need more time?
OK, stop. Now let’s compare lists, starting with those of the men.
It’s likely a majority of guys can’t think of a single thing. I certainly can’t. Maybe you act tough or lift weights, but do you really do anything to stave off sexual violence? Probably not. Some might suggest maintaining a clean rap sheet with the authorities. Alarmingly high rates of men are raped in prison. But after that, I gather we’ve mostly exhausted our list.
How about women? They, on the other hand, could fill the remainder of this column with methods of protecting themselves from sexual assault. Some examples are: not getting too drunk, going out in groups, not going out late at night, watching their drinks at a bar, crossing the street to avoid a wandering vagrant, talking on the phone when out alone, carrying mace, avoiding eye contact, etc.
Think about the disparity in these lists. Even with a largely truncated list for women, what does this illustrate about sexual assault and who our society says has the responsibility to prevent it?
You might say it points to women. It seems that based on these two respective lists, the burden is on females to stave off unwanted advances and attacks. If they don’t follow the extensive checklist of precautionary measures, it’s practically their fault, right?
No. It’s absolutely not.
The job of preventing rape is men’s responsibility. While only a small percentage of men will ever rape, males are the perpetrators in an overwhelming majority of cases.
In fact, you could go so far as to say rape is not a woman’s issue. It’s a man’s. And it’s an issue that men have neglected and need to be proactive about changing, in order to meet the decades of awareness and prevention efforts by women.
One of my favorite nonprofits, Men Can Stop Rape, is a catalyst in getting men engaged to create cultures free from violence. The goal of MCSR isn’t to antagonize men or accuse innocents of complicity. In fact, its process is actually quite empowering. The organization mobilizes young men to become active purveyors of non-violence, especially in regards to violence against women. There are clubs across the United States, and you can find one here at AU too (meeting Mondays at 6:30 in McKinley 202 — check us out on Facebook).
The AU club, Men of Strength, is allied with Women’s Initiative and meets weekly with trained facilitators to foster debate, to brainstorm bystander intervention techniques, to educate and train students and to reshape male culture. In essence, it’s a great group of guys rallying behind an important cause an always seeking to meet others who are interested (and to help us finish the pizza).
Our society’s dominant story of rape says that a guy jumps out of a bush and assaults a woman, when in reality the assailant is much more likely to be a friend/acquaintance. The dominant story says that women are largely responsible for provoking their assailant. The dominant story says that men don’t have a role to play, that rape is a women’s issue.
But we know that men are raped too. Men know survivors of rapes. Men are confined by rape, as we’re often viewed as potential threats in the eyes of strangers. Rape is unquestionably a men’s issue.
Perhaps the most significant thing I’ve realized is that men can stop rape. As last week’s exercise at our meeting really resonates, “Yes, men can stop rape. And this can only happen if we speak up and challenge the behaviors and cultures that allow rape to continue.”
That’s a “Yes We Can” I can get behind.
Conor Shapiro is a graduate student in the School of International Service. Please send comments and responses to: edpage@theeaglonline.com
