At least four gay youth ended their lives this September. Each of their stories is unique, but all had a basis in some anti-homosexual sentiment. These deaths received significant media attention and inspired celebrities to speak out about LGBTQ affirmation.
However, these events are not isolated incidents. Lesbian, gay and bisexual youth are up to four times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers, according to the 2007 Massachusetts Youth Risk Survey. And according to “Suicide and Life Threatening Behavior 2007,” nearly half of young transgender people have seriously contemplated taking their lives and 25 percent report having made a suicide attempt.
While no one can be blamed for a suicide, everyone should be responsible for stopping this loss of life.
Where does that leave our campus?
In this column, we’re dedicated to affirming all types of sexual experiences, identities and orientations. In general, we’re proud of the work that AU’s campus does to create a similarly welcoming environment.
“When it comes to acceptance, I think that comparatively speaking ... American is leaps and bounds above [other schools],” said Carter Gibson, a junior in the Kogod School of Business and the executive vice president of AU’s Inter-Fraternity Council.
Certainly, AU’s response to the recent tragedies has been admirable. When sex columnist Dan Savage started an online video campaign to tell gay young people that “It Gets Better,” AU’s School of Communication decided to produce a similar video in a “show of solidarity against bigotry against our gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered friends and neighbors.” SOC wants to expand upon Savage’s message to proclaim: It won’t get better until we are better.
Because of AU’s positive actions to create such an affirming environment, some members of this community might wonder why coming out would be an issue at all. Since the campus presents itself as a largely welcoming place, why would anyone still be in the closet here?
“When someone does come out in the greek community, the whole greek community is there to support them,” Gibson said. “Some brothers may feel betrayed — but not because of the fact that they’re gay — more so because of the fact that they didn’t know before. They’re like, ‘we wish you would have told us.’”
In the closet at AU
However, even in a liberal city like D.C. or an accepting community like AU, coming out of the closet is still a difficult and personal process.
“I know people who haven’t come out until sophomore year or junior year of college, if at all,” said Ashley Dejean, a sophomore in the School of International Service and the communications director of AU Queers and Allies.
It’s possible that AU’s reputation for being so gay-friendly may hold some people back from feeling fully comfortable embracing their own sexuality. Even though AU’s active chapter of Queers and Allies sponsors activities such as National Coming Out Day on the quad, that may not be the right situation for absolutely everyone to express their sexuality.
“Especially for people questioning their sexuality...they don’t come out because they think...they can’t come over here with the rainbow flag and scream gay things,” Lauren Ramón, a sophomore in the School of Public Affairs and the deputy director of Queers and Allies, pointed out.
Ted Crane, a senior in the Kogod School of Business, came out as gay when he was a junior at AU. Crane thought about coming out in his earlier years at AU, but something always held him back. He wanted to attend a Queers and Allies meeting, but felt like current members would not want to return to the topic of coming out.
“Who wants to waste their time dealing with someone who is so far behind?” Crane said.
Crane explained that it took some time, and new connections with other LGBTQ students at AU, to allow him to “realize how ... to be confident and out and being myself.”
Be affirming at every stage of sexuality
AU prides itself on being a community that’s proactive about creating a safe and affirming environment for all types of sexual experiences and orientations. That means we need to be understanding of people who come out of the closet as well as people who choose not to come out right away.
Be supportive of friends who might be questioning their sexuality, but don’t expect to be able to drag them out of the closet. Understand that sexuality can be very private, sometimes confusing and often a process.
“I’m not into interventionist policy, especially with sexuality,” Ramón said. “Don’t be forcible. Don’t make assumptions.”
Be educated. Be welcoming. Be empowered. And, as always, e-mail Tara and Ryan with any questions, comments or concerns.
sexwonks@theeagleonline.com
