It’s happened to all of us. You’re in your room and you think the door is locked. You’re finally getting into the groove and then, bam! Your mother, father or roommate busts into the room and everybody feels very, very embarrassed.
But there’s good news: you don’t have to be embarrassed by playing air guitar anymore.
At least according to the men and women behind the U.S. Air Guitar Championships. This event, being held all around the country, is seeking to find the country’s single best air guitarist. Each regional competition finds a local winner, who then competes in the nationals in a different city each year for the title of U.S. Air Guitar Champion. The U.S. championships are currently on their seventh year after a small show premiered in 2003.
“We all just thought we were gonna get drunk, and just videotape ourselves being kind of crazy,” David “C-Diddy” Jung, the 2003 air guitar champion, said in a press release. “But there was more media than there was competitors, so we knew this was going to be humongous.”
And while the media coverage often verged on condescending, the interest the tour stirred up in people cannot be denied.
The competition went on to inspire a 2006 documentary “Air Guitar Nation,” which follows C-Diddy across the country and then to the international championships. As the years went on, more and more people showed interest and the competition ballooned to include almost a dozen cities.
The 9:30 club will host the regional competition, which consists of two consecutive rounds, on April 10. The first round consists of contenders rocking out to 60 seconds of a song of their choice. The second round has them playing to a surprise song chosen by the judges. So, if the first round is ballet-like in its intricate choreography, the second round consists purely of spontaneous creative energy and not a small amount of alcohol-fueled shenanigans. Make-believe instruments must be limited to the guitar, so you won’t find the new Keith Moon or John Bonham anywhere in sight.
Like the best stagecraft, performers choose tongue-in-cheek names to use while on stage. Past contenders include Shreddy Mercury, McNallica, Derek Not-So-Smalls and 2009 champion William Ocean. The contest is equal parts goofy humor and serious competition.
“The road awaits, and this year we’re hittin’ it like Tiger Woods,” a press release announced. Performers are judged based on three criteria: technical ability, stage presence and an ineffable quality only known as “airness.”
Competition is serious. Just recently, The Fro, Dixie regional champion, had to drop out of competition because of a toe injury sustained while practicing his routine. This is not a freak accident either. In the Brooklyn regionals in 2008, performer Bettie B. Good lost her toe after falling through a plexi-glass awning onto the stage. She managed to clinch the title before being rushed to the hospital. And Hot Lix Hulahana, the 2008 champion, fractured his thumb during the last round of play.
Performers have good reason to put their bodies on the line. The U.S. Champion goes on to play at the Air Guitar World Championship, representing the red, white and blue against international opponents. In a bit of wishful thinking, the international championship claims that, “According to the ideology of the Air Guitar, wars end, climate change stops and all bad things disappear, if all the people in the world played the Air Guitar.” Last year France took the title, so the American’s are revved up to take back the crown.
If all that practice in your room makes you think you have what it takes to represent the District, apply to enter. And even if your shredding skills may not be up to muster, learn from the masters when the Air Guitar Championships come to the 9:30 club on April 10.
You can reach this staff writer at mrichardson@theeagleonline.com.
