When the Three 6 Mafia told us that it was hard out there for a pimp, they had no idea what it was like being a hipster. And while it’s no longer safe to say that hipsters don’t have the benefit of sporting pimp things like gold chains, teeth or goblets of drank, we all have to admit one thing: it’s expensive to be a hipster.
This fact of hipster life is — you guessed it — ironic.
This whole semester, I’ve been discussing the commodification of cool, the way that companies and designers have appropriated the trends and styles of actual countercultures and sold them back to hip kids at outrageous prices. This kind of cycle is mostly what’s giving hipster culture a bad name. Critics fear that the hipster represents a shallowness and lack of originality that run rampant in our society, but at this point, what kind of fashion doesn’t? Hipsterdom just happens to catch the most flak by virtue of associating itself with DIY, artsyness and empty pockets while dropping $70+ buying the same imported, mass-manufactured plaid shirt in every color (a hipster’s gotta stay fly).
At ease, hipsters; it’s not your fault. Hipsterdom is one of the first fashion subcultures to exist under the microscope of the advertising industry. We are less a subculture and more a consumer target market, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Here are four ways to become a more environmentally aware and economically efficient hipster (this does not include trying to convince Metro workers to take EagleBucks instead of actual money) so that the haters can hate a little less, and you can save a little scratch.
WHEELS
Don’t vintage fixed-gear bikes look cool? The answer is yes, unless you’ve just fallen off your fixed-gear bike after careening down the giant hill upon which AU is located. I know vintage is trendy, but in the case of bicycles, it’s probably best to pick function over form. I promise you can still be cool. It’s just that a fixed-gear bike isn’t worth the money you save if you’re going to 1) be spending extra money on a hospital bill or 2) be dropping cash to get brakes installed — because getting a mechanism installed on a product that’s defined by the lack therof is pretty ironic.
But don’t worry, you can still look trendy while helping the local economy! Instead of spending way too much money customizing your own hipster bike online, hit up a local bike store. City Bikes is a great shop located in Adams Morgan (see? trendy!), and the Bike Rack can be found in Logan Circle (next to a Whole Foods, no less). Save money and local businesses all at once. Remember, a bike is a terrible thing to waste, especially in a city as bike-friendly as D.C., so make good decisions when you’re out shopping for your set of wheels.
CLOTHES
If you want the sensibility of thrifted clothes without the weird politics of the Salvation Army, D.C. has a bunch of locally-run thrift stores for you to choose from. Thrifting is not only a great way to save money on clothes (they don’t just look old, they are old — how’s that for being genuine?), it’s also a great hipster activity that will score you a ton of street cred and introduce you to new locations around the District. Try Georgia Avenue Thrift Store or Meeps Vintage Fashionette in (where else?) Adams Morgan.
As an added incentive, thrifting is sometimes extremely lucrative. My friend once went into a Goodwill shop and bought a bunch of Shania Twain concert tees for 10 bucks. It turned out that they were extremely rare, classic pieces of Shania Twain memorabilia, and he was able to sell them on eBay for upwards of $50 each. Now you too can make a little bank off of “Man! I Feel Like a Woman!”
CIGARETTES
I know that only in hipster culture (or maybe also journalism culture) does the category of cigarettes ever come before food, and that the safest and most long-term way to save money on cigarettes is to quit. But for some of the smokers who aren’t yet ready to quit, there are more economical and environmental ways to consume tobacco without having to drop seven dollars a week on Parliaments.
Rolling your own cigarettes is cheaper — about $4-5 for a pack of tobacco that comes with papers and rolls about 40 cigarettes. It’s also (arguably) better for you, as packaged tobacco has fewer processed chemicals than pre-rolled cigarettes. The trade-off of this is the lack of filter, which, although it makes the smoke harsher, is better for the environment. Filters take an unseemly amount of time to naturally decompose, while paper filters used in hand-rolled cigarettes are recyclable. Plus there’s the added satisfaction of consuming your own product — now no one can say you’re not crafty.
FOOD
Call it bougie if you must, but Whole Foods has the right idea. Quality ingredients and locally-grown products are the best way to support the local economy while taking care of yourself, but damn, that hummus is expensive. So instead of hitting up chain grocery stores for all your needs (or rather, trying to turn CVS into a grocery store for your own peace of mind), try heading to a food co-op. The products are organic and the stores are usually run by volunteers. Unfortunately, the closest co-ops are in Maryland, but they’re all Metro-accessible. The Glut Food Co-op in Mt. Rainer is a cheap, healthy, community-oriented store that’s been serving D.C.’s socially-aware since 1969. The University of Maryland at College Park also has one where you can not only shop, but also volunteer and trade in your hours for free food.
So cast off your hipster shame, cool kids. Finally, there’s a way to be trendy and not have to feel guilty about it. All the resources are there, it’s just a matter of searching for them, and with the summer coming up, it’s a perfect time to go looking. Trust me, the wait is worth it, and you’re sure to find something you love. In fact, soon enough you’ll be saying, damn, it feels good to be a hipster.
You can reach this columnist at kcasino@theeagleonline.com.
