Did anyone else not realize that Halloween is in two days? Perhaps I haven’t been paying enough attention to the candy corn sales at CVS; maybe I haven’t noticed the rush of girls frantically searching for various costume animal ears; maybe I just haven’t looked at a calendar — who knows? The point is that Halloween is, in fact, coming up this weekend, and no one wants to see you dressed up as that guy from “Scream.” Again. That movie happened about 15 years ago, and it’s finally time to put away the plastic scythe.
Nothing is less cool than an outdated costume. Think about the best get-ups you see every year and think about what makes them so great. More often than not, it’s their cultural relevance. Popular costumes reflect popular culture, and the most clever outfits tell us what’s going on in society, whether it be about celebrities, politics or social trends.
So after scouring the Internet and pestering various friends, I’ve compiled a rundown of what could be a few of the most interesting (or laughably uninteresting) costumes you’ll see this year.
Lady Gaga
This can very seriously go either way. Gaga-obsessed fans dressing up as their idol as a form of out-of-control celebrity worship are getting old. To be Gaga this Halloween, you’ve got to be aware of the crazy — it has to be a parody. Do you have a dozen or so Kermit the Frog dolls lying around? Perfect, you have a dress. Got a flesh-colored spandex bodysuit, or perhaps a pair of fishnets and a dress of plastic bubbles? Great, you’re Gaga. Don’t be a slacker and just draw a lightning bolt on your face — if you’re going Gaga, you have to go all the way, maybe even throw in a “Disco stick or treat!”
Kanye West and Taylor Swift
The Kanye West VMA outburst this year was dying for parody. And yeah, memes hit the Internet in the style of “OK, (pop culture figure), I’ma let you finish, but (other pop culture figure) had one of the best (pop culture event)s of all time!” But what fun is that if we can’t dress up? That’s right, no fun. So get out some stunna shades and a blonde wig (for the two costumes, respectively, of course) and have Kanye interrupt Taylor every time she tries to say “Trick or treat.”
Hipster
Irony of irony of ironies. This costume seems to be most popular among a certain group: hipsters. This is due to the cultural phenomenon of hipster denial. It’s hipsters who don’t realize (or don’t admit) they’re hipsters making fun of hipsters who don’t realize they’re hipsters. Here’s a hint, though: if you don’t have to go far for that pair of ultra-tight skinny jeans or oversized personality glasses, or if you find that you don’t have to worry about growing that ironic facial hair, you are already a hipster. It’s OK though; embrace it — Halloween costumes are a lot more convenient if you can wear them all-year round.
Joe Wilson
Because politics can be pop culture too, this year promises a few of these Republican senators from South Carolina. This is partially because the costume is so easy — just dress up in a suit and yell “You lie!” every time anyone makes any sort of political statement. And we all know that’s not hard to come by at AU, so if you commit to this costume, make sure you’re up for an evening of belligerent yelling.
‘Sexy’ Anything
A classic Halloween staple, I’m including this on the list just because the variation amazes me every year. Sure you’ve got the tight-fitting white zip-up dress and stethoscope to be a sexy nurse, but can you hold a candle to last year’s sexy Sarah Palin? I guess you could go shirtless under a yellow raincoat and put on a red hat to be a sexy firefighter, but how can I even be fazed by that when last year in Dupont Circle I ran into — no lies — sexy Jesus. So although the idea of sexy anything as a costume is more often than not trite, there’s always a little room to be cheeky or facetious or even offensive.
So don’t waste time, you’ve only got a few days! Run out and get your disco stick and stay safe this Halloween.
You can reach this writer at kcasino@theeagleonline.com.
