Why do we have Queer as Folk, but no Desperate Housewives in the Library Video Collection?
Hey, if there is a Knights of Columbus Chapter on campus, can we get an Elks Lodge?
Why doesn't Alex Knepper write more often? It's good to finally read someone who is half-way intelligent in The Eagle.
You know what would make the library nicer? A giant moose head over the circulation desk.
How do I join the Charlie fan club?
Mr. President: how does canceling my class in Katzen benefit me, the paying student of American University? Isn't the money I'm paying to attend class as valid as the money of whatever donors you're courting?
Is it me or does Diversal lack diversity?
I meant the men's restroom.
Whoever's been leaving "surprises" in the 1st stall of the 2nd floor of MGC is sick!!
Seven days without any Eagle updates? I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Since when does "I'm going to sleep now" mean "let's invite people to our room AT 12:40 a.m. and laugh obnoxiously at stupid videos?"
Conker's Bad Fur Day is the best game EVER.
Where are all the Heroes fans at AU? I know you're out there...
ZBurger's fries are like crack. Honestly, what are in those things? They're delicious.
Drums and pro-life rallies don't mix well with World Politics mid-terms...
The chocolate situation in TC has been solved. I thought you all should know. -Chocolate fro-yo forever!
I thought Rants were supposed to come out every Monday and Thursday ... today's Wednesday...
WHERE ARE MY NEW RANTS? EDITOR'S NOTE: Check out @EagleRants on Twitter.
It's 8 a.m. — the last thing I wanna hear is your shitty singing in the shower.
Hey Yankees fans: winning isn't that impressive when you have millions more than every other team in the MLB.
Out of all the great games that could be broadcasted on Sunday, I'm forced to watch the Redskins.
Really AU? Hanson is the best you can do?
To those of you that take the elevator to the 2nd floor: stop being fat asses and just take the damn stairs!
Bitches don't respond to my texts.
Tuition: $32,000. Room and Board: $11,000. Being forced to pay $10 a night to eat mushy discolored shit at TDR: Priceless.
Kathypants has some pretty sweet layout skillz. Just sayin'
People. Farmville? Really? Do you REALLY have NOTHING else to do with your life than tend to virtual plots of land of Facebook? Get some ambition or something!
Why does Robert Pattinson ruin everything for the rest of us guys? So I'm not British, and I have a tiny penis. Does that make me any less appealing?
THE EAGLE'S NEST SHOULD DELIVER! OH GOD.
To the person complaining about racist shuttles and contemplating President Kerwin's involvment with the KKK: school colors are red, white and blue- hence the shuttle colors. Duhhhhhh.
Today I realized that I was running back to my room after class on the sole purpose of checking my crops in Farmville. FML.
Dear Eagle Staff Writer Guy, I think you might be the Will Arnett to my Amy Poehler. If I dare you, will you ask me out already? EDITOR'S NOTE: Please be more specific. You could be referencing any of the guys on staff here.
Can the six people who rock out with Jesus at the Gathering rock out in a venue that is not outside my room? Thanks.
Neil Kerwin sighting: by Hughes Hall, looking very official. He winked at me. It was the best moment ever.
Dear Gathering people, I get it. You love Jesus, and you rock. BUT DO YOU HAVE TO PLAY MUSIC RIGHT OUTSIDE MY BEDROOM WINDOW!? Nobody really goes to your concerts anyway. Must you disrupt my entire evening by playing a concert in the amphitheater? I mean seriously, some of us have classes on Wednesdays.
To all those girls that complain about AU only having gay guys ... what about not saying that while a guy is hitting on you?
Seriously, stop texting in the middle of a conversation. You know you do it. It's fucking rude. You can wait five minutes.
Crossing Ward Circle to get to school is DANGEROUS and AU NEEDS TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Don't care how ... just do it.
I can't stand the Gathering and the fact that everyone on this campus just lets them preach their hate without calling them on it. They are far-right Evangelical Christians, and they suck. P.S. If you want to play make believe, play Dungeons and Dragons instead. My level two Druid could totally beat your messiah.
The library got an upgrade! Really?!?!?! Where?!?!
Since the campus convenience store took out their awesome wall of trail mix, it cost you now less to go get your protein intake — after one gym session — in a form of medium cheese burger, medium fries, medium coke, than the pathetically sized trail mix bag, one apple and a bottle of water. Way to promote health AU! Shall I mention the price of a salad on campus...
Einstein Bros Bagel is the worst non-student run business on campus. Put three sophomore business majors in there, and you'll get the right bagel in a decent amount of time, and chances are they won't get your student ID card confused with your credit card.
Really? I'm across the library from you and I can STILL hear your music playing. Hope you enjoy learning sign language.
I'm from the future. 2012 is real. Woo medical mary-jane...
Dear boy who asked if he could "jump under me" one more time at the Perch, You can jump under me ANYTIME. See you at the Perch next Monday, 11:30 p.m. -Blonde Stranger with Power Chord
Where can I donate sperm on campus? I figure I'm not using it for anything special...
Why are nearly all the French-speaking study abroad programs in Paris?
Halloween costume idea: Person dragged to a Halloween party at the last minute, only to find he/she is the only one not wearing a costume.
To my roommate: How 's about cleaning your side? You know, the fact that it smells like shit every time someone walks in. How about how you haven't washed your dirty dishes yet this year? You last used your pan in August. Look, I'm fine with not being neat — hell I'm not neat at all. But oh my God, stop acting like your shit doesn't smell. It does, and that's why nobody ever comes to our room.
I have to tape my desk drawers shut because the floors in Centennial are not flat.
I woke up to my roommate and her BF doing the "dirty" at 5 this morning. He's hot so I didn't mind ;)
I cannot believe AU switched out Bosco for this horrible evil first year professor who for some reason assumes this is a Stat class! She will be fired next year and I will get a C in this class. You seriously suck.
Dear freshman couple on my floor, You two are gross. Both of you live on the floor, go to one of your rooms so I don't have to see you awkwardly grope each other on the couch. This isn't a frat party, I just want to make my ramen in peace. Thanks. P.S. I can't wait till you two break up. I hope it's coming soon. She is too hot for him.
There are people who talk too much, people who have bad accents, and people who have bad opinions. Congratulations, girl in my sociology class. You have all three.
Anyone who thinks that there aren't enough straight boys at this school need to open their eyes. Seriously. They're everywhere!!!
I judge myself for playing Farmville in class.
HOLY CRAP I MISS NEW ENGLAND FOLIAGE!
I had to read a book about Eleanor Roosevelt for a class. It was fascinating. I whacked off to it every day.
I ate lunch at TDR the other day and later realized two mistakes. One, I ate lunch at TDR. Two, I didn't sit close enough to the bathroom.
EcoSense is a bunch of fear-mongers. Stop trying to scare the campus just because you have nothing else to do.
Maybe The Eagle should spend less time on Eagle Rants and more time doing actual reporting. Do we need Rants on Twitter? Not really.
Dear AU smokers: seriously, stop grinding your butts into the ground and find a garbage can. It's not that hard. You're big kids now.
Why haven't we had a good SUB show in Bender for a year and a half? Can we impeach the SUB folks too?
Student Activities should win an award for "most bureaucratic organization in D.C." That's saying something.
Wearing clothing from other schools is really lame, and I think less of you when I see you do it, even if I don't know you.
A female employee at the Eagles Nest pinched my buttcheek last week. I would complain, but it's the most action I've gotten this semester.
Damn. I owe the AU library $20 for a lost book. I already owe them $50 for taking a dump on the carpet.
I used to hate walk-of-shaming past adults (aka my next door neighbor's parents visiting for the weekend), but then I realized that dirty look they give me isn't disgust, it's jealousy that they can't have as much fun as I'm having!
Am I like THE only Freshman who is staying off-campus? Anybody else? Holler.....
Mr. Knepper — Thank you for finally submitting an article worth reading. There's a reason why I'll never take another Sociology course in this school again ... sometimes, the professors are worse than the students. Thank you for finally standing up to these finger pointing "activist" idiots!
My RA is the most annoying person I have ever met. Take off your Reliant K track jacket and stop watching glee. You are a senior in college. Get a life.
I choose to define explosive diarrhea as a horrid, albeit somewhat humorous, way to spend my weekend.
I spent all afternoon following the Balloon Boy story instead of studying for my midterm that night. I hate my life.
Does anyone else think its bullshit that not only did the university take away classrooms and valuable practice areas in Katzen for ADMISSIONS, but now they close Katzen for a day for Neil Kerwin's DINNER PARTY?!? If you did that in SIS, people would rebel. Stop taking advantage of the arts students. We already don't have enough space to rehearse/practice...
To the racists playing catchphrase, learn to embrace diversity and end the inflammatory comments against my people.
Hi! I'm a intelligent girl with morals looking for an intelligent guy with morals. Interested? 'Cause that'd be swell.
For the love of God, all I want is my hot chocolate. Why is the machine in TC unplugged?
Last time I checked, we lived in Virginia, not Alaska. Why is it 39 degrees out in October?!?!
Yes, I have standards. Aren't there any straight AU guys out there who want more than a drunken hook-up?
I'm getting so sick of Alex's Knepper self-righteousness and hypocritical ideas. He needs to write something political for once, not just his narrow-minded opinion. Mr. Knepper, please remove your head and that stick from your ass. You're no better than the rest of us.
Thank you, annoying girls, for yelling in the hall for 30 minutes on Tuesday night at 3:30 a.m. Just because you were done with your midterm doesn't mean that others don't still have theirs to take at 10am — plus you ruined my trip!
Alex Knepper: big hypocrite or biggest hypocrite?
Groups of frat boys in the library are SO annoying. They are so stupid and obnoxious. Hell, everyone in the library at 1 a.m. is freaking insane. I hate this place.
I swear to god, the next time the library Nazi tells me to put my food away I'm going to throw it in his face.
The 'G' key and the 'T' key are too close on the keyboard! I'm never ending an e-mail with 'regards' again!
To the guy who sits behind me in my Macro class, between you and me, something amazing happened ... and now I can talk to animals! It's really cool, but totally secret. And you know what? Life's never been the same.
Dear Professors who want doctor's notes: going out in the freezing, rainy cold and coughing all over everyone on the shuttle and Metro is reallllllllllllllly gonna help me get better.
To the obnoxious people living in the Berks, this is NOT a dorm. Please be respectful of the fact that many of the people who live here have full time jobs and are not irresponsible, rude, noisy college students. You are giving AU a bad reputation and you're also bothering the people who moved off-campus because they were tired of dorm life. If you want to act like you're still living in the dorms, then please go BACK to living in the dorms. Thank you.
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