Today’s Eagle Rants Trend – Turtle cries during Entourage! And … Danny Glover?
Kudos TDR, your local day on Tuesday actually tasted amazing!
A wise man once asked, "Girl you looks good, won't you back that azz up? Youz a fine motherf**ker, won't you back that azz up?"
To people on Leonard 6: Keep it down please. I'm trying to work. I'm also trying to masturbate.
To the misanthropist who chalked disconcerting messages in the sidewalks around campus Tuesday night – my name is Scott Davidson and I am not that hard to find. Let me know if you need a friend.
I'm calling my room the Champagne room, because I am getting no sex.
Snarky latte liberal comment.
This is Graffiti!
I resent the fact that the SG is using Billy Mays to promote the elections! He’s dead! Not fair! Too soon!
I want to see more really funny, frilly, and fantastic toys around our school. They may waste my tuition dollars but those public safety scooters make me happy.
Will the soccer team girls please do mixers?! So good looking..
Charlie, we don't speak to each other. We just rant. C'est beau.
It is really hard being a rich pretty frat boy with a heavy burden between his legs.
The SIS international relations journal does not accept undergraduate submissions!!! I will show them...
Please! Just kiss me!
Entourage went soft when Turtle cried.
April is so the cruelest month.
Brett Favre should be the new comptroller!
I want to see political cartoons! EDITOR'S NOTE: If you know someone who would want to draw some, let us know!
Our school is far too cyclical
I am going to spray paint the school.
Turtle from entourage should never cry
The Perch is amazing, but three out of four suitemates agree that it should DEFINITELY be open in the morning.
i am not an sis or business major, i enjoy eating meat, i could careless about politics and i am really happy coming to class dressed like my own age, minus a suit. thanks, au. because sometimes, that shit really is bananas.
You know the men's restroom on the third floor of the AU Library? Can somebody run up there with a roll of toilet paper? I'm in the last stall. Thanks
The girls here need to establish a pooping etiquette. Like, I need to go, but don't want that caddy bitty washing her hands to hear and then report back to the floor.
Today’s Top Eagle Rant- Has anyone noticed how the new JAMS (SCCRS) can actually just be called "scissors"? I've already used it: "The Leonard RAs scissored me last night. It was regrettable."
People in the lounge need to stop blasting their crappy music all at once and at full volume. It just creates a hybrid of terrible sounds that torment me as I try to rant.
Dear AU RAs, Thanks for saying at your meetings that we're the most poorly behaved floor on campus. It motivates me to keep going strong, and to never stop ruling. Love, Leo 7 Resident
I would like AU Threesome to include more articles that would be in interest of the lesbian community. Please give me a tutorial, oh wise Eagle.
I love The Eagle so much I want to take a copy behind a middle school and get it pregnant.
I love how there's left over mustard gas and arsenic in our school's soil. The American Dream is Green...and poisonous! Thanks, AU.
People should go out of their way more to get swine flu so that we can get some time off.
To the person that said he would put the next person in a wheelchair that used the wheelchair button to open the doors...wow. THEY'RE HEAVY. DEAL. I started to press it more now just to get your attention.
Field Hockey girls are the most solid looking athletes at our school.
To clarify, my last rant was about a basketball player that does not go to this school. Sorry for the confusion.
Today, while I was walking home from the library in the morning, two construction workers at the new SIS building asked me if I wanted them to warm me up since it was really cold. They were carrying a blowtorch.
To the guys next door: unless you are in extreme physical pain or coming, you should not be screaming that loud. Video-game-gasms do not count.
Believe it or not, Danny Glover's older brother Martin Glover is nowhere near as famous as his younger sibiling.
Danny Glover. Ray Liotta. Dennis Leary. Not a dream, Operation Dumbo Drop. It's pretty self-explanatory.
Danny Glover was never really thanked for adopting Joseph Gordon Levitt at the end of Angels in the Outfield. Baseball playing angels cornered him into it.
Little known fact: Danny Glover is getting too old for this shit.
If Danny Glover was my father I'd get way better presents for him when Father's Day rolled around. Not to mention Christmas.
The Eagle really doesn't use its voice to address pertinent wrong doing. For example did you know that in Predator Carl Weathers was taken out by the Predator pretty easily but in Predator 2 Danny Glover survived the entire time?
Dear Eagle, I was hoping you could clear something up for me. Does one simply walk into Mordor?
I'm so glad AU In Motion got its budget cut. You do realize that everyone knows your game, AUIM, right? You only pick the girls you're friends with and ignore everybody else. You don't pay any attention to talent. Nobody minds being passed up for a better dancer, but everyone hates a popularity game. I hope you can't afford any performance spaces. Karma is sweet.
Sarah Palin's new book is coming out later this fall. I look forward to reading it while jacking off.
Peanut butter fills the cracks in my heart
Taylor Swift: I don’t just want to be your best friend, I want to be you.
The way Chuck Bass talks is so sexy
Sometimes it sucks to be well-liked. Case in point: extra syrup in McDonald's iced coffee. I appreciate the sentiment. But eww.
Yo, Salsa, I'ma let you finish, but Chipotle has the some of the best burritos ever!
To those responsible for finally adding soy milk as an option at the eagle's nest & katzen cafe, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. about time coffee merchants other than the dav think of the lactose intolerant/anaphylactic Eaglets.
I think that if people took five seconds to think about what they had to say — or rant — before they expressed it, the world would be a kinder, quieter place.
I don't believe one single word the Army Corp of Engineers has to say. Isn't it bad enough they made that awful song "YMCA" so popular some years ago. Now I have to hear it at every wedding I go to. Damn them.
Jimmy Carter is the devil.
Hey UC kids on my floor. Don't drink the Kool-ade and stop making us non-UCers feel uncomfortable when we come into the lounge too. We live on the floor too and you are not better than us. So stop making us feel unwelcome on our own floor.
AU girls, why wear winter boots so soon in the season? Especially with capris — it's just plain oxymoronic!
Please stop giving my girlfriend dirty looks when she visits me and stays with me in my dorm room. Just because I'm a straight male and I choose not to date skanks from AU does not mean you have to give her dirty looks and make her feel unwelcome.
Fun fact about Eleanor Roosevelt: Her high school class voted her "Most Likely To Pass Out In A Pool Of Her Own Vomit".
Can people STOP COUGHING in the library?? Go home!
Stop the sexism!!! I have a penis. I like it- we're good friends. But just because I have one doesn't mean I'm going to rape you, discriminate against you or tell my friends about what we did last night. Stop treating me and dick like this. Its getting to be pretty irritating.
AU Girls, please stop wearing leggings. I don't care how comfortable they are. They look ridiculous and they're killing my buzz.
In what world is it okay for five white people given total discretion to decide how much money a large number of diverse groups should get? I guess the AUCC fits in well with the rest of our self absorbed Student Government.
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO STUPID?
The AUCC is a collection of underachieving numbskulls. Honestly people, why are a bunch of bureaucrats controlling more than a hundred thousand dollars! At least the SG pretends to get elected.
To the three freshmen on my floor who are pledging Sammy: you just lost my respect for you.
I really love whoever left those rants. Seriously, no sarcasm. I had a good laugh even though I should be ASLEEP. Why Eagle, why do you e-mail out at 1:15 in the morning and keep me from sleep to read STUPID articles and USELESS opinions? I just can't stand it any longer!!
New Jersey girls aren't trash. Trash gets picked up. EDITOR'S NOTE: Not in New Jersey.
