Donkey Punch, directed by Oliver Blackburn and David Bloom, is a kinky porno/horror thriller that tells the unlikely story of seven college kids who face their doom while kicking back on a luxurious yacht off the Mediterranean coast.
The adventure begins on the Spanish island of Mallorca, when three British girls - Kim (Jaime Winstone), Tammi (Nichola Burley) and Lisa (Sian Breckin) - party hard during their weekend getaway from Leeds, England. While tossing back drinks, the girls run into Marcus (Jay Taylor), Bluey (Tom Burke), Josh (Julian Morris) and Sean (Robert Boulter) who lead the ladies back to a yacht that they are taking care of for the summer.
After riding the yacht out to sea and experimenting with more alcohol and drugs, the partiers pair off into couples, thus starting the film's hot and heavy pornographic sequence. While nailing Lisa from behind, Josh decides to try the "donkey punch" move by slapping the back of her neck to force her muscles to spasm, giving him ultimate pleasure. But instead of receiving intense satisfaction, Josh accidentally kills Lisa, leaving him and the rest of the crew with the decision of what to do with the body.
The first third of "Donkey Punch" is like a British version of "90210," with rebellious young adults doing drugs, partying hard and engaging in sexual activities - ones they will undeniably regret the next day. The last two-thirds of the film is like a rip-off of the "Scream" series, only with British accents that you can't understand and an incredibly decked-out yacht.
The nude scenes are quite graphic, which will please some viewers but disturb others. Unfortunately for porn-haters, the sex scenes are the best part of the film. After they are over, the movie quickly goes downhill with almost every character getting killed off by motors, SOS flares and other boat-related weapons.
While the acting in the film isn't terrible, the plot creation is flat-out dull. The characters are believable, but the action is not convincing. With the combination of jumbled accents and a beginning that offers no time for character development, viewers are thrown into a suspenseful film with only one question in mind: "What the hell is going on?"
Tom Burke, who plays sex-addict Bluey, looks like a less-attractive Edward Cullen from the movie "Twilight." Burke temporarily transforms the horror film into a comedy when he lets out a girly high-pitched scream after being stabbed with a bread knife.
Passing "Donkey Punch" in theaters and waiting to rent the DVD would be the best way to experience this film to its fullest potential. I recommend muting the film and returning it to Blockbuster after the sex scenes are over.
"UrbanDictionary.com" defines donkey punching as "the male punching the sexual partner in the back of the head during anal or vaginal sex prior to orgasm, to provoke a shock causing the vaginal or anal muscles to contract around the male's penis." Hopefully there won't be a similarly charged sequel to the film titled "Eiffel Tower" or "Angry Dragon."
You can reach this writer at thescene@theeagleonline.com.
