If you've ever wondered what Rainn Wilson occupies himself with when he's not beet farming as his persona of Dwight on "The Office" or how Tina Fey spends her time between takes as "Girlie Show" producer Liz Lemon on "30 Rock," you need to seriously update your Tweeple.
With the assistance of San Francisco-based social networking site Twitter, whose sole purpose of existence lies in its users answering the question, "What are you doing?" Celebrities from "U Can't Touch This" rapper MC Hammer to rockabilly screenwriter Diablo Cody are redefining themselves.
While I won't go into the merits or expendabilities of the site itself, it's impossible to pass over the new levels Twitter has added to the culture of the superstar. Rather than through publicists and official spokespeople, actors, writers and producers now brazenly take to the Twitter feeds to air their dirty laundry. The widely varying personalities and ends to which these figures use their 140-character status updates often provide an untwisted and straightforward window into their character.
It's no secret what visions occupy Tina Fey's mind when she drifts off to sleep every night. Her statuses overwhelmingly address her humorous cravings for everything greasy and taste bud-tickling. Her updates read like constant one-liners from a crass comedy routine, some gems being, "You tell the sandwich artist 'a dab of mayo' and they slather it. It's almost like they're not being paid a living wage or something," and "What does Monica Lewinsky say to her new boyfriend? 'It's close, but it's no cigar.'" Though her tweets come at sporadic intervals, Fey's updates will have you laughing until her next knee-slapping witticism.
If Fey's infrequent use of the Twitterverse leaves fans in search of a more consistent source of humor, "Juno" screenwriter and ex-stripper Diablo Cody's typical tweets, such as, "OMG, I'm at Baja Fresh and they have a Diablo Taco. I'm like 'Me too, IN MY PANTS,'" have as much guts and shamelessness as her 2008 leopard print Oscar dress and pinup girl tattoos. Cody was an early proponent of Twitter's use and, to the delight of her 15,000 followers, has consistently maintained steady usage of its spontaneity.
The first couple of Twitter is undoubtedly aplusk and mrskutcher, better known as Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, respectively. The two made headlines last month as they aired the grievances online regarding their neighbor, politely dubbed an "ass clown" by Kutcher, who had the habit of giving the couple rude wake up calls with his early morning construction.
While the dirty laundry offensive against their noisy neighbor was too relatable to be pure humor, last week's Tweet War waged between celebrity gossip blogger Perez Hilton and British singer/tabloid fodder Lily Allen struck a series of such low blows that was almost unbelievable. The spat began after the Queen of All Media jokingly requested fans to pressure Allen into his appearance in her new music video, to which the singer replied "oh, I'm sorry, we've already cast the jealous and bitter old queen role. Next time, eh?" Never one to pass up a fight, Perez responded "Jealous of who? David Beckham, maybe. And if I wanted to be a fucked up Brit, I'd rather be Amy Winehouse - whose [sic] got talent." A series of similar, rudely entertaining exchanges followed, culminating in Allen claiming to have blocked Hilton and his posting of an uncensored photo of the British celebrity's vagina.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is the future of your social networking as demonstrated by the idolized heroes of our society. Enjoy it - the Twitterverse is waiting for you.
You can reach this columnist at thescene@theeagleonline.com.
