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Thursday, March 28, 2024
The Eagle
SUMMERTIME'S OVER - Famed boy band New Kids on the Block reunite for a disappointing new album, featuring campy lyrics and monotonous beats that leave- faithful fans wishing the group never left the '90s.

Same old 'Kids,' new low

New Kids on the Block "The Block" (Interscope) Sounds like: Everything else on "TRL"

Like any good young 20-something female, I was elated by the return of New Kids on the Block. Who wouldn't be thrilled to once again hear the original boy band, those who made the soundtrack of my elementary school days and spawned the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC and countless others?

The debut of the Kids' single "Summertime" earlier this summer only heightened my anticipation. Sure, the lyrics aren't exactly deep ("You wasn't lookin' for a man, but when you saw me in the sand you fell for the boy from the city"), but the light beat and sing-along chorus was the perfect song for a summer drive. The gloriously campy video, featuring a dance sequence that consists entirely of the band members in silhouette and striking dramatic poses, only made the Kids' return single even greater.

And so, with high hopes, I eagerly opened their first new CD since the mid '90s. I'm sorry to say, but the Kids fail to deliver. Overly heavy dance beats combined with inane lyrics about life in the club, like "Put it on my tab, I'm buying, I'm sending another bottle your way, put it on my tab 'cause you had a long day," produce a CD of almost entirely indistinguishable mid-tempo pop songs with distractingly heavy beats.

Collaborations with artists including Ne-Yo, Akon and the Pussycat Dolls give the group the air of an awkward dad trying to be cool by referencing the latest slang, but who only makes his kids cringe. The collaboration with the Pussycat Dolls and Teddy Riley, "Grown Man," is particularly horrendous. Some groups can take a decade-long hiatus, make a triumphant return and still be cool. Unfortunately, New Kids on the Block isn't one of those groups.

"I want this to be redemption, but not for us," New Kid Donnie Wahlberg said in a press release. "I want it to be redemption for the fans. I want them to feel entertained, to feel treated to something special. And I want them to be so satisfied by what they get that they'll realize they weren't crazy all those years ago - that they put their heart into the right place back then and that it was worth the wait to come back again."

Well, Donnie, you've failed on all counts. If anything, this disc will make fans wish you had waited a little longer. Maybe then it would've been worth it.

If it weren't for my unending faith in the power of the New Kids on the Block and their ability to redeem themselves, and the glory that is "Summertime," I would've given the disc an even worse grade. I wish I could tell all the NKOTB fans out there to pull the posters, lunch boxes, etc. out of the closet and prepare for the group's glorious return, but it's just not time.

You can reach this staff writer at cphenicie@theeagleonline.com.


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