As college students, we all share some of the same misfortunes - empty pockets, caffeine addictions and the occasional really, seriously crappy day. And on one of those days where mom doesn't pick up her phone, your best friend just broke up with her boyfriend and your roommate is passed out drunk somewhere - sometimes your best bet is within a stranger.
A couple weeks ago, I was stuck in the middle of one of those wretched days. It was Tuesday. It was raining. I had three articles due by 5 p.m. On top of it all, my flip-flop had broken and was stapled together. Needless to say, I was in a grouchy, bad-ass, generally unpleasant mood. The elevator I'd been waiting way too long for had also been occupied by another girl, who appeared equally as disheveled as I was. We simultaneously shook out our soaked umbrellas and our shoes squeaked as we walked onto the elevator.
And there we were, dripping wet and grouchy in the elevator. We were traveling upwards, somewhere between Mary Graydon Center and Battelle-Tompkins, in complete silence. So I said something, just to break the silence. I opened my mouth and words came out - directed at a total stranger. I commented about the weather, and how that day "really sucked." She looked up at me, with her eyes full of judgment. You would have thought I said something offensive. Maybe she feels passionately about the environment's need for rain. Maybe I had some leftover bagel in my teeth. She rolled her eyes and looked intently at her cell phone. I waited for her to say something back - either rude or otherwise. Nothing. She offered nothing but silence. When the elevator stopped at the third floor, she strolled past me without a second thought.
It's not like I was looking for a kind or consoling response. I grew up in New Jersey, so I expect that sometimes confiding in a stranger could result in bodily harm or a string of obscenities. She could have just said "yeah," and gone on with her day. To be honest, I don't really care how her day was. I didn't even want a full conversation. I was just looking for someone to commiserate with me during a 30-second elevator ride.
I tried to remind myself that Elevator Girl was just one person, and maybe I was just particularly ill tempered that day. But then again, just look at all the students who don't thank the shuttle bus drivers when they get off the bus. Think about all the people who have slammed doors in your face in the past week because someone couldn't be bothered for those extra five seconds to hold it open. Consider those two people who ignored your most recent awkward elevator comment. When was the last time you got sassy with a Tavern worker who took a bit too long to cook your quesadilla? We all learned these basic social skills in grade school, yet some people still walk around with a blatant disregard for those around them. Unfortunately, this high-and-mighty attitude has its effects. Kindness and laughter is infectious, but so is negativity and discourtesy. Civility, this week's buzzword on campus, can exist without working too hard.
But why should we reserve civility for one week per year? CIVITAS week will end, and plenty of people will not notice that it even started. But it shouldn't make a difference - civility should be an expectation. We're students; we should look out for each other. Hold doors, say please and thank you, smile at strangers every day - it's that simple. You don't even need to be nice, or have a conversation with anyone - just a few nice gestures. I promise it won't hurt you.
Jen Calantone is a junior in the School of Communication and campus news editor of The Eagle. You can reach her at jcalantone@theeagleonline.com.
