Last week, I mentioned sex was a learning process, and the longer two people are together, the easier it is for them to please each other. However, sometimes sex in a relationship can fall into a rut. It generally happens when partners fall into a rhythm, which takes away from sexual excitement. Sex becomes something expected, more about a routine and less about affection and love.
So, how can this problem be remedied? First, if there is more fighting, less attraction or you're just not happy in the relationship, it might be best to break up. If that's not the case, then you can choose to put the spark back into your sex life. When sex falls into a rut, it generally suffers in foreplay, so you have to know how to reintroduce it.
There is not one thing anyone can do to spice up his or her sex life because the goal is to play to the other person's wants or fantasies, but there are a few things that can be done to add some fun to a couple's sex life. The end goal is to surprise and arouse the other person in the hopes they will become more passionate during lovemaking.
One obvious way to break the routine of sex is with spontaneous sex. In other words: Don't have sex with your partner at the same time every night in bed. Sex shouldn't really be planned; it should be whenever you look at your partner and know you want to make love to them, whether it is the middle of the afternoon, when you're hanging out outside or in a stairwell.
Another good way to spice up sex is to bring in accessories. One thing you can do is use lotion (not lube) as an instrument of foreplay. Rub the lotion all over your partner's body and massage them sensually. Very slowly, let that build up to having sex, with teasing, oral sex and other acts of pleasure to excite your partner even more.
A third method of exciting your partner is to let them watch you pleasure yourself, whether with a toy or with your hand or fingers. Make sure you don't just let them stop you and have sex; you must make them wait and watch you for a while. This will increase their frustration and arousal levels and hopefully, add much needed passion to the sex.
None of these recommendations are guaranteed to work, but they are ideas of where to start. Sex is a great thing, and it must be kept exciting. When it becomes part of a normal routine, it loses a lot of what it is supposed to be. So, don't forget: Unless your relationship is with your right hand, there are two people who have needs. Don't be selfish, lovers at AU. Please your partners.
