Today is a holiday, the origins of which are lost in the histories of the late classical period. But its modern incarnation undoubtedly involves more fat, naked flying cherubs and red hearts than St. Valentine could possibly have imagined.
Here in the U.S., Valentine's Day is no longer a day to venerate its namesake, but rather a celebration of all the males and females you love. So go out and give your girlfriend some roses, your mother a box of chocolates and your BFF a Prius-sized plastic heart.
That said, from our experience, there are three situations most of us find ourselves in on Valentine's Day: you have plans, you need to have plans or you couldn't care less - or are at least a little bitter about not needing plans.
For those of you who have made reservations months in advance, who have the flowers picked out and have massage oil on hand, well done! Think about writing your significant other a sweet note, wearing a new or favorite undergarment (silk boxers, fishnets, nothing at all - be creative) or perhaps investing in a new sex toy to make your V-Day coupling even more memorable. For the sex toys, as always, we recommend the Pleasure Place in Dupont Circle or Georgetown. If you're sexiling your roommate for the occasion, well, just remember that everyone loves chocolate.
Some of you need plans but don't have them. Whether this situation is due to the newness of a relationship or your procrastination habits, here are some tips to make it memorable. Since most of the best restaurants are booked up, try your hand at cooking a romantic dinner together. If your cooking attempts generally involve the fire department, both the local Balducci's and Whole Foods sell gourmet pre-cooked meals.
Live in the dorms where romance is hard to come by? Even on short notice, you can elevate your romance ratings beyond that affordable, tacky plastic heart of sickly sweet chocolates. Instead, cozy up over s'mores at Cosi, a caramel brownie at Cake Love on U Street or a selection of fruit and your naked selves. Even better, give your partner an IOU for a couple massage lessons, a sex toy shopping adventure or yoga classes to increase both partners' health and flexibility. Just because Valentine's Day only falls once a year doesn't mean that romance should, too.
And for those without a hot date tonight? You have two options: sulk or celebrate. On one hand, you could spend the night on Facebook, moping and constantly clicking "Refresh," hoping for that last-minute declaration of love from Prince(ss) Charming. But do you really want to get squelchy with someone who communicates his or her deepest feelings via wall postings?
A much healthier alternative is to hang out with a bunch of your single (or Valentine-disinclined) friends, celebrating your friendships and proving that you, too, are worthy of the St. Valentine's holiday. In your lounge or your apartment, you can cook a feast using only foods that are red or contain chocolate, have a movie marathon ("Pirates of the Caribbean," anyone?) or play a board game. What better way to spend the day than to play Twister to get that skin-on-skin contact you've been craving?
Send us any Valentine's Day stories, questions and comments at insearchofbooty@gmail.com.
