Not too long ago in a galaxy pretty damn close to this one, geeks invaded this column. However, geeks are people too, and there are actually some good geek movies coming out that everyone can get behind. With that in mind, it's time for The Trailer Park VII: Return of the Geek Empire's Phantom Strike Back, a Tek Jansen Adventure.
"Ghost Rider"
Columbia Pictures
Feb. 16, 2007
Nicholas Cage has wanted to make a superhero movie for so long. There was a time he was going to be Superman, but it looks like he's had to settle for "Ghost Rider." Its release date should tell you a lot about how little faith the studio has in this movie, and since it's directed by the same man who brought "Daredevil" to the screen all those years ago, you know it's going to be rough. This film follows the life of Johnny Blaze, who sold his soul to Mephisto to save his father from cancer. The only downside is that at night he becomes the Ghost Rider, a flaming skeleton with superhuman strength, a flaming motorcycle and the power to make evil men relive all their sins. Like "Daredevil," the director's cut DVD might end up half decent, but I wouldn't hold my breath.
"Eragon"
20th Century Fox
Dec. 15, 2006
I'm probably going to be lynched by hoards of fans for admitting this, but I never read the book this movie is based on. All I can say based on the trailer is that it looks like Jeremy Irons is trying to make up for that terrible "Dungeons & Dragons" with ... oh, crap, it looks like his agent screwed up again. It's not that this movie looks devastatingly bad. I'm sure it will play well with its target audience (young adults), but after the massive success of "Lord of the Rings," it's going to be compared to it in every possible light, and chances are it's going to miss that mark. Oh well, eventually Peter Jackson will return to Middle-Earth with "The Hobbit" and fantasy will see another resurgence of high-quality, big-budget proportions.
"Spider-Man 3"
Columbia Pictures
May 4, 2007
There was only one problem with this trailer: Sony released the wrong one. The one they should have released featured better footage and a glimpse of Venom, one of Spider-Man's most well known villains. All is forgivable though because Sam Raimi and company quickly established this as one of the best superhero franchises of all time. The theme of choice continues in this installment as Peter Parker faces decisions involving love, revenge, jealousy, the whole shebang - all while juggling his dual life as the webslinger. May seems like ages away, but it will be worth the wait. Also, if this movie does well, there may very well be more adventures for your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.
"Fanboys"
The Weinstein Company
April 20, 2007
Who is Dan Fogler and why is he cropping up all over the place? No matter, this road-comedy-apparently-based-on-a-true-story looks like it'll be an interesting combination of a Kevin Smith movie and one of the National Lampoon "Vacation" movies. It has a cameo by William Shatner and Christopher McDonald (Shooter McGavin of "Happy Gilmore" notoriety). It also makes fun of Star Trek and Star Wars geeks alike, but mostly Trekkies. The plot itself revolves around four friends crossing the country to steal and view a print of "Star Wars Episode I" before it was released in theaters way back in the late '90s. I could be way off base on this one, but I think this might at least be worth a rental.
"Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix"
Warner Bros.
July 13, 2007
It was only a teaser, but this preview has already notched up the hype for this movie. It will feature more of Alan Rickman and Gary Oldman, who have severely lacked screen time throughout the series. Yes, Gary Oldman's character doesn't come in until the third novel, but there should have been much more of him in the previous two movies. As for Alan "Don't call me Hans" Rickman, you can never get enough. There should be more to say, but there wasn't that much content to the teaser (hence "teaser"). But if you've read the book you know that this one should feature some more action, a little romance and the trio growing up quite a bit. It's a summer release and it's Harry Potter, so half the world will see it and you know you will too.
