Dear Blair Bryant,
Before my sophomore year of school started, I hooked up with a guy I met at a club. He goes to another school in D.C., and although it wasn't a bad hook-up I wasn't really interested in seeing him again. So after a few semesters, I just began seeing him out this semester at the same bars I frequent - and by "see him out," I mean he seems to be at the same bars on the same night EVERY time I go out.
This isn't really a big deal because our encounter was a long time ago and we are both chill, but the problem is while I was out with my friends this weekend I met a really cute guy and we got along pretty well. Then he began talking about his roommate, who just happened to be my stalker/former one-night-stand. I really like this new guy and want to see him again, but is it even worth trying when it could potentially be so awkward? Should I be worried that his roommate is talking about me, too?
-Frustrated
Dear Frustrated,
I certainly understand your dilemma. This story is so well-trodden that even "Seinfeld" had a plot line devoted to "the old switcheroo." I think we have all had the experience of realizing that we got the short end of the roommate or best friend stick at some point or another, although it usually occurs in closer temporal proximity, making things even more difficult to maneuver.
That's where you're lucky. Since the hook-up with roommate #1 occurred so long ago, there are chances (albeit perhaps slim) that he has completely moved on, matured and might even encourage his roommate to pursue you. In the less desirable case of roommate #1 still carrying a torch or bitter feelings toward you, this could be considerably more difficult to accomplish. You would have to hope roommate #2 feels initially as strongly about you to want to potentially subvert his relationship with his roommate. This is a definite possibility but it would probably necessitate you being the more proactive one in pursuing him, while simultaneously extending an olive branch to roommate #1 to prove that what happened in the past is not something that still bothers you.
If you can win #1 back over, you might just be able to win #2 at the same time. What you want to avoid is pitting them against each other or otherwise undermining their relationship. If things go badly, then you will have made yourself two definite enemies when you could have at least gained one new friend. Tread lightly; be completely honest but positive if #2 questions your past history with #1, and overall be prepared to accept that the bond of roommates might trump your desire.
And now, if your mom were a sexpert, this is what she'd say! Here are some gems of wisdom to promote sexual health and generally good karma, inspired by www.collegesexadvice.com:
-"Pull up your pants. You look like a plumber Lindsay Lohan."
Sure, those low-rise jeans are what all the "cool kids" are wearing, but some trends are not worth following, especially if they make you look like cheap trash. Have a little class and cover up that coin slot. And that goes quadruple if you're a guy.
-"Eat your vegetables. Drink your juice. It'll make your cum taste better."
It's true! That healthy, balanced diet mom always encouraged you to eat can help promote better-tasting semen, especially if it includes lots of fresh fruits and vegetables. In fact, it's reported that a vegetarian diet will give both men and women better tasting juices down there. Of course, you don't have to tell mom why you're on a health kick, but she'll be proud anyway.
-"Don't take candy or open alcoholic beverages from strangers at parties."
It might seem paranoid, but in this age of roofies and other date-rape drugs, women (and sometimes men) have to be extra careful. There are too many stories of people getting victimized after having their drinks tampered with. You don't want to end up like a grown-up version of some cautionary after-school special.
Dudes, don't be scared to ask a question! Just create a fake e-mail addy if you're worried and send your sex queries to blairbryant.nichols@gmail.com.
Answers will appear in future issues, but we'll keep your name to ourselves. Come on! Everybody does it...
