I'm sure by now all of you are as sick as I am of hearing that Halloween is just an excuse for girls to dress like sluts and guys to dress like complete idiots. Though I agree that the holiday does provide a welcome opportunity to put our sexuality on display, it doesn't necessarily mean that this is the character we desire to portray the rest of the 364 days.
I know that it is fun and cute to be a naughty nurse or a Ninja Turtle on Halloween night, but imagine having to maintain the kind of figure it takes to pull off thigh-high white stockings and how annoying it is to have a cardboard shell strapped to your back all night. I don't think that anyone wishes this event occurred on a more regular basis.
I guess what really annoys me about everyone complaining about the overt sexuality of Halloween is that it ignores the fact that college students are constantly throwing theme parties or events that require special costumes. This contributes to the idea that playing different roles facilitates our development as we always seek to define and redefine our identities. Halloween is simply another occasion that enables us to share a different part of our identity, perhaps a latent promiscuity, or enforces the strict persona we have already strived to establish.
My Halloween costumes have been consistently and overtly sexual. The owner of Studio 54 and a noted cocaine addict and orgy participant, the roller skating hooker who wore little more than booty shorts and a cut-off T-shirt, the gay mechanic in an altered jumpsuit and finally a freshly assaulted Congressional Page - these don't really buy me much credibility in the "Halloween is more than dressing slutty" school of thought. But the holiday is about being able to freely express our sexual selves in a way that society does not always find acceptable.
Those who lead the argument for lowering the drinking age or legalizing marijuana often point to the culture of Europe as an example of how this functions successfully. One could present the same allusion in the context of acceptable sexual expression. But what is interesting is that when it comes to Halloween, Europeans don't seem to approach the holiday as aggressively as we do. In fact, while I was in London last year for the occasion, I saw few others roaming the street in costume. Perhaps because the original pagan rituals and practices originated in Europe, Europeans are less enthused about the transformation Halloween has undergone in the U.S. to a night of youthful drunken debauchery.
As Americans, we seem to approach major events or holidays as excuses to drink, whereas drinking is so inherently part of the European lifestyle it is seen as neither a special treat nor taboo. While I am not criticizing our tendency towards excess on special occasions, I just wish that we didn't have to wait for seasonal events to feel comfortable indulging ourselves, whether it is in a sexy or humorous outfit or a bottle of champagne.
So I know you may be wondering why I am ignoring the very issue this column purports to discuss and this is exactly my beef with only having special days to express elements of our sexuality. You might think that going out in something more revealing than we would normally deem appropriate might make others or ourselves more willing to engage in sexual relations. But the person beneath the tiny khaki shorts, ripped button-down shirt and Catholic schoolboy tie is still the same. If anything, our inverted outward appearance may make us less approachable, and this aberrant expression makes our attitude more introverted as well. The stress of feigning confidence while sucking in our "problem areas" makes the thought of going home with someone almost out of the question.
So I didn't get laid on Halloween, but I blame society. Or perhaps I was just so good at portraying a page no one wanted to become the next target of scandal or perpetrator of statutory rape.
Blair Bryant Nichols' column "Everybody does it..." appears in The Eagle each Thursday. Blair also gives weekly sex advice for The Eagle, which appears in Q&A format each Monday.
E-mail your sex queries to blairbryant.nichols@gmail.com. Answers will appear in future issues, but we'll keep your name to ourselves. Come on! Everybody does it...
