"All of our employees have ten digits."
-spokesman for Wendy's International Inc., after a patron discovered a finger in a bowl of chili.
Dupont Circle-goers were treated to quite the special treat this week from a prolonged visit from several die-hard Dr. Pepper promoters Tuesday. The pop-pushers were seen laboriously pushing carts of ice and complimentary Dr. P across Connecticut Avenue. Decked out in loud red Dr. Pepper gear that couldn't be missed by from across the circle, the enthusiastic crew shoved cans of the new Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper into the hands of perplexed passersby, who, for the lives of them, could not detect any even remote taste difference from regular Dr. Pepper. At least the can was fancy and free.
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Spring showers bring ... hordes of blue-backed prospective students. As if the daily campus tours that peak in springtime couldn't already be seen coming from miles away ("Hurry! Another throng is on its way, and this time it's moving FAST!!"), the signature backward-walking tour guides were accented during Monday's downpour by shuffling groups of high schoolers in bright blue AU rain ponchos, provided out of the kindness of the hearts of the admissions office. We're sure they went home thrilled that a college gave them something free, but in a few years, they'll be shaking their heads along with the rest of us.
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Mulch update: Turns out those monstrously smelly piles were for new spring landscaping and grounds upkeep. Landscaping? On this campus? Who knew?
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All right metal fans, your favorite speed-core band, ANTHRAX, is back together. And not only can you look forward to awesome moshing and sweet riffage, but also social change! Anthrax is working together with the Slave to the Metal foundation to stop mandatory anthrax vaccinations for our troops. What?! ANTHRAX against anthrax? But that's so contradictory! So mind-blowingly ironic! So brilliant!
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A woman in San Jose, Calif., discovered part of a severed finger in her steaming bowl of chili at a Wendy's last week. According to employees at the establishment in question, the woman began vomiting and felt very ill and distraught. ILL AND DISTRAUGHT AT THE THOUGHT OF SINKING HER TEETH INTO A PIECE OF FINGER. Just consider that for a few moments. Basically, we at The Eagle think that there is probably no sensation grosser than the thought of chipping your tooth on someone's chipped press-on nail when you're expecting some tender kidney beans. As if that weren't bad enough, all the employees' digits are allegedly present and accounted for, leaving but one question: wtf?
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While standing in line for a delicious, individually created salad at the Marketplace, one Scene staffer was roped into the trials and tribulations of being an employee at the Field of Greens. A cell phone went off behind the counter and was angrily answered with a "don't fucking call me at work ever again!!" The timid staffer looked bewildered, waiting patiently for her food. watching wide-eyed as the Marketplace employee proceeded to flip out behind the counter, hastily throwing the salad mixings together. One can only hope that the cause of this temper tantrum was legitimate, but it was still just really, really awkward.
